F.O.M.I. Bitterness

/ bensbitterblog

Some people just don’t know how to sit still.

I have a son who is an extrovert. Somehow in the midst of three other family members who just prefer to skip a party, we got an extrovert who must be around people 24/7 or he will die an instant death (it might have something to do with him being adopted, but that is a story for another day). He is maniacally trying to find friends after school, as soon as he gets home. It drives me crazy. Clearly, he has F.O.M.O.

If you haven’t heard of F.O.M.O. it means Fear of Missing Out. It is these crazy people who always feel like they are missing a party, or a gathering or an opportunity to travel somewhere. These wanderlusts that can’t seem to enjoy an evening in, because heaven forbid, someone on Instagram post about being at an event, or sitting in jail and their Instagram doesn’t match.

F.O.M.I. at its finest.

Stayathomelust at its finest.

On the other hand, I have a stayathomelust. It is this constant need to get the stupid thing done that I need to get done outside of the house, like getting groceries, or picking up kids at school, or getting gas for the car that is necessary to get groceries, and then rush home. I would gladly match photo for photo with a wanderluster,  pictures of me on my couch, or pictures of me playing video games, or me with my computer background displaying the same picture you took of Hawaii, minus me being in it.

I don’t need to travel around the world, picking up scurrvy, or getting a stupid souvenir to prove I went somewhere. I can experience different worlds right from my couch. I don’t need an expensive airplane ticket, an Air BnB, and an expensive car rental to go to Paris. I just need Netflix to see Paris. There are probably 12 movies that feature the parts I really need to see.

I don’t need to have friends with all the hook ups just to go to the parties of the century. All I need is the latest video game, that takes me on a magical journey to Pandora, or Sera where they have the coolest guns, the wickedest vehicles and the craziest people. Who needs a rave, when you have party meet ups online?

And why do I need to go outside and meet people in order to have fun? I meet the strangest, quirkiest, most fun and interesting people in movies. And the best part? When they get annoying, I turn them off. When they get too clingy, I go to the fridge. When they whine a little too much? There is always another show that can entertain me.

I don’t have F.O.M.O., I have F.O.M.I. The fear of missing the inside. And guess what? I wrote this post all in the safety of the indoors. Not on a beach somewhere. Not looking at the Eifull of itself tower. Not near the leaning tower of Pizza. I’d rather eat the stuffed crust of pizza. While inside.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter F.O.M.I. Ben

40 thoughts on “F.O.M.I. Bitterness”

  2. I’m with you, Ben. On Saturdays, I make a list of all the things I have to get done out of the house, map out my route and drive myself to exhaustion, just so I can stay home all day on Sunday. When I have to be out both days of the weekend, it takes me a week to recover.

    The worst thing about being outside is dealing with cashiers and salespeople asking, “How are you today?” One of these days, I’m really going to tell them.

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  3. I have never been a FOMO but am not quite a FOMI. Maybe I am a FOMO-excluding-the-humans. I love to go outside and travel but not with people, just by myself. Also, loved the little gif highlighting that some people never sit still – brilliant! You know, if being a FOMI makes you happy, then so be it 🙂 Some people like to exist in the indoors.

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  10. I was quite the sufferer of FOMO when I was in Jr. High and High Schoo, and through much of college. But that’s mostly because I had such a fascinating and active bunch of friends I suppose, because as I grew in college and away from that group, my desire to get out leveled to a more manageable level. 😉

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