For bitter’s sake it has been a long time. At least in blogging days. It’s been an actual week since I’ve done anything on this sad pathetic blog. I know I’ve got at least one idea for a post, but I’m not going to break the long standing tradition of doing Friday Giftures, just so I can do a post about something of substance. So you might have to wait another week before you hear all about the way this bitter person spends Christmas. Let me just give you a hint: It wasn’t peace on earth or goodwill toward men. It was probably just laying around being lazy. Or it could be something else. Either way, how about some bitter giftures to not tide you over until I do a real post someday.
Sometimes when you horse around…
…you end up hanging around too much.
When you try to ski…
…you end up flying instead.
Some people have to turn laziness…
…into a big drama.
Locker are called lockers for a reason…
…they should stay locked.
When they say jumping jacks…
…they don’t mean flipping jacks.
When administering painful things…
…don’t be surprised if you get pain administered back.
When trying to give away things…
…try not to hit the roof.
Make sure you concentrate…
…or you will fail in front of your piers.
Careful with the mechanical bull…
…or you will get the horns and the floor.
When you stair too hard at people…
…you can get burned.
When working in a cubicle…
…I can bearly stay awake.
It’s been pretty crazy this winter…
…with all the snow fall.
Speaking about long time no see, let’s just make sure that 2016 becomes that way. Now that there is only 2 days left of it, let’s wish it a good riddance. And make sure that 2017 is just as bitter.
ARRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Long Time no See Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
At least the water skiing turned into flying, not an accidental enema! thanks for the Friday giftures, I look forward to them all week. 🙂
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It’s funny that anyone would look forward to anything on a bitter blog ever.
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Oh, there were some gems in here, Ben. Like the chick who tried to do a cartwheel. What made her think she was going to be successful with that venture? Those girls in the lockers? I had this overwhelming urge just to slam the doors shut really hard. I don’t know why. The exercise ball and the bear really made me laugh. When I was a call center manager in a galaxy far, far, away, many centuries ago, an employee of mine asked me if she could replace her desk chair with one of those balls so that she could get her cardio in. I laughed at her and then said no. Guess what? She became very bitter.
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I bet that was a fun one to tell that girl about the exercise ball. Making people bitter about exercise is one of my favorite things.
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Well, I had to fight back the laughter. She was also the same girl that I had to explain workplace vs club attite.
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I would have just let the laughs fly. She needs to know that she was being ridiculous and that doesn’t get any special treatment because she LIKES to exercise.
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Well, her other after hours job probably could have helped with the exercise requirement.
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I imagine she probably had one at home too, so she could use it while watching tv, instead of laying on the couch like we do.
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She probably replaced all her chairs with them.
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She probably uses them as tables too. And for her laptop to sit on.
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No, Ben! The bean bag chairs are her tables. What are you thinking?
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I know. How could I possibly think so basically. Of course her beanbags are her tables.
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OMG! Your gifs are in rare form today. I’m rolling in laughter!!!
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Yeah, my gifs are really funny. Someday I hope to be as funny as them.
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Listen to you bitter betty. 😉 Oh ya…Ben haha
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I have to listen to myself a lot unfortunately. I talk to myself more than anyone.
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Oh those bitter stair and pier falls.
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Those are some of the classic and fun ones.
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Falling off the pier was killer, but falling down those stairs! Someone was lucky that wasn’t worse.
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Yeah, well kids are pretty resilient. I, on the other hand, would have been laying on the ground for hours.
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And I… right next to you!
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I might just sleep there for a while. No need to bring me to the hospital for one of their uncomfortable beds.
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They’re the worst. The bed rails and all those tubes and monitors they always want to hook you up to. You’d think they felt we were sick or something.
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Yeah, I got to go to one for New Year’s Eve, and it was so fun being hooked up. They gave me some fancy colored bruises.
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I can’t say for certain, but I feel lab people live for that.
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Yeah, I bet they love to torture people for fun in the name of “medical care”.
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LMAO! 😀
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Don’t tell me you’re one of those who only looks forward to the days off so he can lay on the couch!
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I like going to the hospital just so I can lay down. Just about any excuse.
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I wouldn’t put it past you!
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I wouldn’t put anything past me when it comes to being lazy.
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You da king!
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You know it. The King of Bitter.
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You’ve been gone a week? I hadn’t noticed.
Hope that doesn’t add to your bitterness.
Welcome back.
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Most people didn’t notice. I figured that no one would.
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Don’t feel too bitter about this. It’s the holidays…When we only pay attention to ourselves and family maybe.
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That is true. I always only pay attention to myself, so why would the holidays be any different?
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Thank you for the giftures, I was beginning to feel a warm glow, almost a smile forming on my lips, thank you for the bitterness, it was long overdue!
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Thank goodness that they arrived just in time to make you bitter before you got the smile.
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ahhh, such a relief.
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It’s a service that I provide.
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and free…wow.
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Nope. Nothing is free with me. I will find a way to charge you somehow. Just gimme a chance.
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Hmm… not what I was expecting, generally being bitter is free of charge.
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Yeah, all the free advice I give makes me bitter. I should be making money from all this.
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Incorporate!
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That seems like a great idea. Bitter Inc. We will sell very bad advice for lots of money. The customer service will be the worst.
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No Refunds, the bitter business don’t play that game.
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That’s right. Don’t mess with bitterness.
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high five!
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