As you all know, the first day of Winter was a few days ago and you know what that means. Darkness. More and more hours of darkness. In my opinion, daytime is super overrated. People can clearly see what you are doing, activities happen during the day, work and driving are more common, and accidents are less likely to happen. In the dark, there is the possibility of ice that you can’t see very well, and the potential for mayhem is much higher.
The best part is scary movies are way more scary at night. So enjoy this darkness while you can because the light is coming soon and that just means more hours of having people see you in your harshest light. And nobody has time for that. You know what people do have time for? Friday Giftures. Twelve of them to be exact. Like the Twelve Days of Bitterness right?
Some people weren’t adopted by the darkness…
…they were born into it.
I don’t want to say I’m right…
…but if this butterfly were released in the dark, that bird might not have seen it.
Things are so much better in the dark…
…like I wouldn’t have tried this leap had it been nighttime.
This crab would have won the fight…
…had he joined the dark side.
It is so much easier to kick off your shoes…
…at night…when you are home.
You know you’ve reached a dark part of your life…
……when you start wandering around the Barbie aisles.
You know what is going to break first?…
…me, because I haven’t had breakfast.
I wish I had more power from the darkside…
…cause our Wi-fi is super weak right now.
I would love to tell you things are great for you, but they aren’t…
…them’s the breaks.
You wanna know what Santa does after dark?…
…well, you probably don’t really want to.
You might you think you are tough…
…but I’m not sure you have the snowballs.
So go ahead and try to break through…
…but I doubt you can make it through the glass ceiling.
Alright, well I gotta go. Some strange gift giving ritual or light festival or something. Well, that will all take place during the day. Thankfully, I will have all the time in the world to hang out in the dark.
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Spiderman in the Dark Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Darkness makes it easier to fall asleep sooner.
Janice
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And sleeping is always the best. Takes us away from our bitter reality.
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Reblogged this on gudgerblogdotcom.
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The light can’t come soon enough. The dark is like the long winded person that doesn’t know when to shut up. God I hate the winter!
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Yeah, winter is such a jerk sometimes. It just highjacks 3 or 4 months of the year and makes it cold and miserable.
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Oh did he get SNOWED! A Merry BITTER Christmas, Ben! 😀
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Yeah, we got some real bitter snow on the way to our location. Arrrrgghhh.
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Hopefully it will blow by quickly. Happy Bitter New Year, Ben. :O)
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No joke. Let’s get past this 2017, so we can be bitter about 2018.
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LOL! Oh I fear there’s even more truth in that statement. 😀
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2018 is going to be a fantastically bitter. I can’t wait to see what new surprises make me bitter then.
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Well at least we have a ear to prepare. God I hope it’s enough! 😀
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It’s already closing in on us, this 2017. I think it’s time for some new resolutions, like making more people bitter this year.
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Here, here lets drink to that! (Hiccup!) 😀
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Let’s have something bitter to eat. I’ll eat to that.
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Actually, the first day of winter is the darkest day. It starts getting lighter after this.
Now you have something else to be bitter about. You wanted more darkness so you could be bitterer about it. 🙂
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I know. But it might as well be the dark side of the moon for what it seems like.
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Hope your holiday isn’t too bitter!
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Of course, I always find things to be bitter about, even the holidays.
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Ahahaha, that snowball dude! :’)
Merry Christmas, Ben!
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Thanks. It was a good day. At least for the kids. But we did have fondue and a nap, so that was cool.
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Some things are better in the dark. After all, who wants to go to a drive-in movie in the day time (there’s still one left in our area). There’s so much distraction with all the young couples screwing in their cars that you can’t focus on the movie–and no telling what that stuff is that they sprayed on the popcorn.
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I went to a drive in once a while ago and I probably shouldn’t have gone to that one. It was Twister and the sound coming through my cheap ghetto blaster just didn’t do the sound justice.
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Of course…12 days of bitterness…why would it be anything else…no, I mean really, why??
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I would have done a post on that, but I’m too lazy.
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Your Friday post always sets off that it’s the weekend mood for me every week!
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It always sets mine off too. The bitter mood just keeps getting more bitter as the weekend goes on.
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haha
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Imagine how bitter that squirrel feels–foiled by a slinky-like thing. Rodents don’t like being embarrassed like that. It’s enough to turn them to the dark side.
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That squirrel was slipped up by a small little slinky thing. Just like most of us.
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…but I don’t like scary movies. They’re scary.
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That is true. I find them really stupid too. I mean, are people really dumb enough to walk into traps like that all the time?
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Yes, scary movies are scarier in the dark, Ben. I highly recommend watching Brittany Spears’ “Crossroads” that way! I am getting the chills just thinking about it. I think John Travolta had worse problems than the Barbie aisle. I was thinking his hairstyle should only be seen in the dark. Oh, BTW, enjoy that light blinking thingy that is happening this weekend. Stay bitter!
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Talk about a scary movie. Though most of John Travolta’s movies these days are pretty scary.
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If he continues to use bad rugs and have more plastic surgery he will start to look like the Surgeon General in Escape from LA.
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Or he will need to hire a Surgeon General that smokes a lot.
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