So I wasn’t bowling the other day and I was trying to strike up a conversation with someone, just kidding, why would I ever do that? Anyways, I was driving in the wrong lane, when I came upon something in the gutter…ball, and it struck me that I needed to do something this coming up Thursday, but I couldn’t remember that I needed to spare someone a dime, because I was pinned into the lane. Anyways, I realized then what I was supposed to do. Get a turkey. Kind of like how this post is turning out so far. So without further argument, let’s take a look at this weeks Friday Gobblers, uh giftures…
And let’s see if we can…
…make it into the club.
And we got a kick out of this…
…let’s face it.
And now for my next trick…
…I’ll disappear…without my dignity.
Before you get too tee’d off…
…let me axe you a question.
Hey baby…
…wanna see my broken glass?
Don’t flip out…
…but you are probably going to take a dive.
Let’s dance…
…cause you are going to be floored.
Sometimes to get your pizza…
…other people need to be a little flexible.
They say when you put Mentos in Coke…
…things can fly.
When you do the towel dance…
…don’t do a face plant.
When you think outside the box…
…sometimes you fall flat on your face.
Oh and before you get home…
…remember to leave the parking brake off…for our entertainment purposes.
I’m guessing all you bitter people are headed to your local Black Friday sales so can wait in some lines for some crap that will break before you get it home. So let me leave you with this. This is the end of the post. So enjoy your bitterness.
Bitter Turkey Sandwich Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
How your giftures always cheer me up, lol! The girl with the door! :’)
LikeLike
Well, I’ve failed again. They are supposed to make you bitter! Well, maybe they will make your mom bitter instead?
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, she hasn’t seen them. But maybe I could make her feel bitter about that?
LikeLike
That would be great. Thanks for passing that on!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure.
LikeLike
You are the anti-bitter!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Trust me, today I am very much not. I am with you in the bitterness today more than ever! Let bitterness rule the world, muahaha!
LikeLike
Ha ha. Sorry that was so rude to call you anti-bitter. You must have felt so insulted!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Na. It just made me feel a bit bitter…
LikeLike
I guess it worked then!
LikeLike
Great Post Ben! Thanks for the laughs on this long excruciating ride home from NOLA.
LikeLike
Yeah, it was really excruciating ride. I’m glad this freaking holiday is over. I’ve realized way too late in my life that my family is only nice in small doses and in smaller groups.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sigh, I feel ya bruh. I deal with mine in doses myself. That’s why we visited NOLA during Thanksgiving just the two of us. Christmas, will be family time. I can’t hardly wait. Do you hear the sarcasm in my tone?
LikeLike
Aren’t holidays the best. I think my favorite Thanksgiving was when we went to the Keg restaurant and just had steaks. Just us alone in the whole restaurant. So great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The best clip is the last one. The dolt basically helps his car over the railing. Nice. I also enjoyed the nimrod busting a move in the convenience store. He is so ready for Dancing with the Stars. All of the bowling references made me bitter, Ben. I really don’t like that sport.
LikeLike
I don’t like bowling either, especially with other people. Cause your terrible skills are on display for the whole world. And yeah, I really enjoyed watching that guy essentially throw his car into the forest.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bowling. That is every corporation’s favorite team building exercise. Maybe that is why I am bitter toward big business.
LikeLike
I am also bitter towards small business. And medium business. Strike three! Which is a turkey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too funny! Business =Bitter
LikeLike
Business = other people making lots of money from my hard work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly! And we know where that leads…Bitter!
LikeLike
Bitterness indeed. That is the company that I shall start soon. Bitter Inc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You were supposed to get the turkey on Wednesday! Now we have no time to heat it so it looks like TV dinners again!
LikeLike
I just got the turkey. Is everything else ready?
LikeLike
Um…well…it was…I mean on Thursday…
LikeLike
Oh, Thanksgiving was Thursday? I thought someone would have told me this. Like invited me to come over to eat. That must be why no one showed up at class that day. And the streets were so clear that day…
LikeLike
Well you were technically invited to my mother’s but I don’t think anyone bothered to let you know.
LikeLike
Yeah, it must of got lost in the mail like my family’s invitation.
LikeLike
I stay home between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. I think it’s best to celebrate Christmas in January.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wish I could stay home, but I’m usually working or going to school. But if I wasn’t you bitter believe I would be at home not doing things.
LikeLiked by 1 person