Hey everyone, I would not be the world’s leading authority on bitterness if I didn’t post something today. Since I had my head in the sand(by that I mean head leaned over pretending to do paper while actually sleeping) working on a paper about social media, I wasn’t able to watch the news or read anything on social media. But for some reason, I felt a disturbance in the bitterness. Anyone else feel that?
Since I felt the disturbance in the bitterness force (a talent of mine being a Jedi of bitterness) I thought I would offer up my blog for you all to put your bitter comments on here. Don’t worry, this blog and I feed off bitterness, so anything bitter you have to say will just make us stronger.
I’ll start since I know you guys are kind of shy when it comes to sharing your bitterness.
Don’t you hate it when the place you are living in is a tad too warm? I mean for goodness sake, am I supposed to open a window? It’s like 45 outside and it is 85 inside. I don’t know if it was all the vitriol that was being thrown around yesterday (my son had a fight with his friend yesterday about a Wall Ball game) or all the hatred being spewed everywhere (I was burning hot with hatred at Gears of War servers yesterday because it was moving a tad slow). Trust me, I’m going to release all my frustrations on Social Media today because that will help.
You know voicing your opinion on something is going to change stuff. You may want to unfollow me if you don’t want to see all kinds of hatred I have about Gears being a little slow.
Now it is your turn. Let me know if anything is super bothering you today. Just make sure you use the hashtag #ARRRGGGHHH or something like that will help. Just know that any bitterness you spew will be absorbed by me, and I’m going to keep it. You can’t have it back.
ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHH
Bitter Bitterness Guy Ben
I am very bitter my mother never listens to me. I told her I had to go to the store for a client, to buy degreaser, and now she’s bought a bottle for me instead. It’s the wrong type, the wrong label, the wrong bottle, the wrong price, AND she managed to lose the receipt, so not only can I not return it, I also cannot show my client what he owes me. Thanks, mom -_-
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Dang it mom, why do you have to be so helpful in the least helpful way?
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I know right. She means so well, she doesn’t get my frustration, lol.
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Mom’s can be kind of crazy sometimes. My dad is the same way. He has good intentions when it comes to helping me find jobs, but all his advice is from like 50 years ago when he was looking for jobs. Lots of things have changed since then.
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I’m bitter about people flying their freak flags higher than the American flags. And about people who are 43 because they are younger than I.
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Yeah, then I am younger than you, but I’m older in bodily age. I’m a 75 year old stuck in a 43 year body.
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I hear that.
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I know that.
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I keep trying to think bitter thoughts, but they keep dissolving before I can write. Maybe I feel bitter about my lack of ability to hold onto bitterness? #itsallgood
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Well, it sounds like either you are trying to hard, or not hard enough. Bitterness is something that comes to me naturally, so you should think about just being more yourself.
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I drove the 45 minutes out to the bitter haunt today in an effort to avoid my bitter TV and to work on sculpting the bitter foam trees, and I forgot the bitter keys to the front gate the buildings that house my bitter tools. So I had to sit there listening to bitter election coverage and Hillary’s speech on NPR and trying not to cry for another hour while waiting for my husband to arrive with said keys. AND I have a bitter vagina which means I will never see a president like me. AND I have a bitter hangnail. AND I’m hungry and don’t feel like cooking bitter food. AND one of the cats just took a bitter shit and it’s making the whole house smell but the bitter box is ALL the way upstairs. This is not my bitter day. Also, please replace “bitter” with “fucking” in every sentence I just wrote. #AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH
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Now that is the stuff of bitter dreams. Though I like to spread my bitterness pretty evenly throughout the week, I do enjoy having a super bitter day where it all loads up on one day to be particularly satisfying.
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I’m kind of bitter about not being an American voter. I love it when I can walk around with a smirk on my face and have people give me the panicked “WHAT DID YOU DO???”
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It is super fun to be able to be a voter when either choice you make will be a bad one. I guess we finally know how it is in other countries where there is only one person on the ballot.
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I am totally bitter today. Totally. I didn’t sleep last night, you-know-who is going to be our next President, and I’m sitting in a hotel room by myself watching NCIS repeats. Well, the latter isn’t all bad since I love NCIS, but still…
To make matters worse, there was yummy food after the conference, but they only gave us 6″ plates for the yummy food. People were building pyramids of beef, meatballs, raw veggies and cheese. I was expecting a bitter disaster of someone’s food falling to the floor, so I left before I could witness it. I’m still hungry and bitter about the damn plates.
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Why would plates every be that small? They are supposed to be able to fit all the food. I would still be pretty angry about that too.
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OK – Why weren’t any cats voted into office? We’re cute, furry, and sleep too much to do any damage. Sincerely, Snoops and Kommando Kitty
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I think sometimes the reason why cats are voted into office is because we think they are overqualified.
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Pingback: A Little Bitter on a Totally Fun Blog | Mohawk Valley Girl
Oh wow, you totally did use it for your blog. Awesome!
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I am extremely bitter because I can’t have a damn drink. And I can’t have solid food. How the hell can I self medicate when I can’t eat or drink? I did take some actual medicine, the prescribed kind, and now I feel too lightheaded and tired to make my own blog post, another source of bitterness. Oh, AND I have been off solid food long enough now that my body has adapted and I stopped losing weight! Thank you, I feel much better now. You know what? I think I’ll copy and paste this minor diatribe and use it for my own blog post. Does the lessening of bitterness I feel mean you are absorbing it? No matter, I will manufacture more. Totally fun blog aside (that’s what mine says it is), it is what I do. Rock on.
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That sounds awfully painful not to be able to eat solid food. I can’t even imagine not being able to eat pizza. Might as well put me in a coma until that is over. Yeah, feel free to use your comment as your blog post.
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It SUCKS!!! I can’t talk much either, and that is SO difficult for me. I did use the comment, and included a link back to this post. Thanks.
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No thank you! I find talking terribly painful all the time so I get you there.
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Well, I love to talk, because I have so many good things to say, far more than many of the people I talk with! But to each his own, as the old lady said when she kissed the cow.
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You sure do. And I love to write because I have many words, just not ones that I want to say out loud.
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I am more bitter than usual and that’s never good because I go around saying a bunch of bitter stuff, but that is my job. I will probably create some kind of havoc to ease the bitterness then eat a pint of Ben and Jerry.
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And nothing makes bitterness better than Bitter Ben and Jerry’s.
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That’s the truth…Cherry Garcia, I can really get into that.
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I like the tonight show one. Whatever it is called.
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Well, I ‘ll have to check that out, I am not too bitter to eat two pints.
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There’s always room for more when it comes to Bitter Ben and Jerry’s.
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That’s for sure. Yum, gotta smile, but only briefly.
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Yep, make sure you choke on it a little just to make sure you don’t smile too long.
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you are bitter and dangerous! cough!
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There you go, back to frowning. Doesn’t that feel so much better?
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I guess I need a lesson in the Force. Whenever I try to change stuff by voicing my opinion, nothing happens. Why yes. These ARE the droids you’re looking for.
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The Bitter Droids. I think that may be the next movie that comes out in the Star Wars franchise.
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Oh, where to begin. My bitterness is spilling over today. Why don’t I start with Trump’s acceptance speech. He referred to the U.S. as a great country. Wait – wasn’t his campaign slogan, “Make America great again”? So, when, in his eyes, did we become great? When he won the electoral vote? Never mind that he lost the popular vote.
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Oh was there an election yesterday? I didn’t hear because my head was buried in the sand. So was there any reaction on Twitter or Facebook? Maybe I should go check those. I shouldn’t? ….okay, never mind.
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Oh…I have so much bitterness today. But today I am going to focus my bitterness on something very particular. Today I am bitter because I was born with a vagina. The damn thing started causing me troubles in puberty, in college it was a nightmare, and it hasn’t stopped vexing me since. I squeezed two kids out of it, hoping it would be expelled with them but it stubbornly hung on. And while I’ve long suspected it might be the reason for a lot of problems in my life, I didn’t realize until just yesterday what a liability the stupid thing is. It should have come with a warning label!
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Now that sounds like an entire post that you could do on your blog. And a subject I’m not too familiar with, so I think I will go ahead and trust that you are the expert on it.
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Yesterday I had to cook an omelet. My wife wouldn’t cook one for me. #ARGGHHHH!
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Now that is a whole lot of bitterness packed into two or three eggs. I assume the chicken that hatched those for you were some bitter little chickens.
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Tired and sad. Somehow yesterdays narrow result will be spun into a Mandate from the People. Fuck me. And I am absolutely crazy frustrated when my Xbox 360 auto-saves Skyrim every time I hit the inventory button. Internet server issues are a bridge too far. Keep being the Bitter bastard you are.
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Probably more of a mandate from People Magazine. And Skyrim, I love the world you created, but could you please find a way to make it so saves don’t take a quarter century each?
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tough day. thanks for posting
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I think it best that we just hide out in our mind shelter and pretend this didn’t exist right?
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I’m bitter about people who put out the American flag on a holder that is positioned the wrong way on their mailbox post, The holder, and therefore the flag, are pointed back toward their houses instead of away from the house toward the street. Like how you’re supposed to fly the flag. In front of you, not at you. Duh.
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I know. Come on people. Can you just flagure it out? I mean seriously. Why don’t you just drag it on the ground while you are at it!
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AAARRGH ! (Did I spell that right? ) My bitterness boils when pollsters can’t poll properly !
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Uh, you need a few more A’s, R’s and G’s, but other than that, pretty close. Yeah, pollsters are the worst. And me I can’t spell properley, so ther is thate too.
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I woke up with dry lips today… Yes, I do have lip balm, but it didn’t prevent me from waking up with sandpaper feeling lips! Life sucks… Sometimes. Oh, and Gary sucks too. Thanks for taking the bitterness away Ben. You’re (almost) like a true friend… xx
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Seriously, dry lips. Why do they vex us so much! Where are these so called superheroes to solve problems like this, so we don’t have to work them out ourselves? Where is the lip balm, Superman?
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Yeah, for sure…I had to eat those whole grain Cheerios for breakfast. I mean, don’t they just stop being Cheerios at that point?
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Yeah, when you start putting sugar on them, they become good. Or Sugar Cheerios. Thanks for the bitterness. I feel so much stronger and bitter today.
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I knew you would!
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Either that or it was all that sugar on my Cheerios.
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Now you’re trying to make me jealous!
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More like bitter. And that is what I excel at. But you already knew that.
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#ARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Okay, my bitter friend. You know I have no problem being bitter. Look, I didn’t like either candidate but somebody had to win. So the candidate that won is an Ooompa Loompa and he shouts a lot. A LOT. We are stuck with this choice and no matter how bitter we are, it isn’t going to change anything. Now, that being said, can I please tell all those bitter, whiny ass celebrities who didn’t get Hillary in office or who are still bitter about Bernie Sanders to SHUT THE HELL UP?????? They are making me extremely bitter and not to mentioned annoyed with all the bellyaching on social media. I feel so much better spreading the bitterness around…. 🙂
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Well, like I said I’m here to absorb all that bitterness for you. In fact, I just grew like two feet more bitter just because of your comment. I think the best thing that came of this is the list of celebrities that PROMISED they would leave when Trump become pres. See ya Miley Cyrus and Barbara Striesand. Enjoy Canada!
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Can we throw Seth MacFarlane into that mix as well? I do love Family Guy but his non-stop, whiny ass tweeting is driving me batshit crazy and is making me tremendously bitter.
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Yep. I really don’t know what these people think is going to change because they are tweeting aggressive and passive aggressive tweets. I have an idea! Unfollow any bitter twitterers that aren’t me!
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LOL. I have turned off some retweets from people. I reached my limit. My bitter cup runneth over…..
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But there is always room for Bitter Ben tweets.
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Yes, Bitter Ben’s tweets make me incredibly bitter so I can handle all the bitter, whiny tweets.
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I’ve helped you build up an intolerance.
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Yes, you have. I am now more intolerant than ever. If that is even possible.
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That is great. I hope that you start drinking acid so your heartburn is more tolerable.
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LOL
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Gotta love those acid trips.
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Yes, bitterly caused by other people being bitter.
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People other than me of course.
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Of course!
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Wow! I felt the disturbance in the bitterness all the way here in Mexico too.
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Kind of like an earthquake and you aren’t at the epicenter, but you are feeling the aftershocks.
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yep, huuuuuuge aftershocks! Apparently, a lot of people are having bitter thoughts today
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I can’t imagine why? There must be something trumping all other news today or something.
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yea, and I can still feel the disturbance today! Major bitterness trumping everything.
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Sounds like you need a trip to somewhere else to feel much bitter. Hawaii perhaps?
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I definitely need a bitter trip! There’s a lot of warm, sunny beaches here in Mexico I could go to and feel awfully bitter towards everyone and everything. Yep, that’s what I need.
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Just don’t schedule a trip to the US anytime soon if you don’t want any bitterness.
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Noooooo 🙂 lol
It’s bitterness central over there right now.
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Yep and for some reason the epicenter seems to be right around my home (IE Bitter Central).
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I hate that my office is always too cold!! #AAAARRGHHHHH
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Stupid offices. If they are going to make it cold, they could at least have Micheal Scott as a boss to entertain you. Or at least a Jim and Dwight prank-off.
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Funny you say that, watched the office on Netflix during lunch today!!
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I’ve been watching it on Netflix too! I just started season 5. So good!
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