Once again another birthday came and went and I got nothing. I don’t know what everyone’s problem is, but I’m getting a little sick of my son having a birthday and no one getting me any presents. It’s kind of selfish that everyone pays attention to him and not me all day. I mean they drew pictures of him at school, they showered him with praise and adoration and my folks call MY cell phone and didn’t even want to talk to ME. What kind of prideful, self centered person wants to have a whole day centered on them? What kind of person wants to take the attention off me, even for one second, to celebrate how humble and great I am? Talk about a spoiled brat. I should send him to his room right now, but he selfishly went to school, just to avoid punishment I guess. While he leaves me at home to play video games and watch Netflix all day. Some people I swear. All I have to say is he better not hijack Christmas or I’m not going to let him go to my work again and do my job again.
Please…
…no more autographs.
Alright, seriously…
…if you want to throw down, we can go.
Alright you know…
…I’m kind of phoning it in today.
Alright, now I’m getting a little sick of…
…your chariot cases.
Okay, you dudes over there…
…need to make up your minds and stop teetering around.
And if you don’t quit fooling around…
…I will bury you.
Alright, this birthday is turning out…
…to be a big waste…basket.
Before it gets to be too big of a disaster…
…let’s make sure it doesn’t jump the dolphin.
If you do end up jumping the shark…
…make sure you do it with s-tile.
Just stop being such a party pooper…
…because you are so off balance…
Seriously…
…you need to start stepping UP your game…
Or you are going…
…get smoked.
Alright, well, I’m going to go pout in the corner and be bitterly upset all day because of the lack of gifts and non attention I got all day yesterday and you all can go to your rooms and think about how sorry you should be and what you are going to do to make up for your clear misunderstanding about how much you should be paying attention to me on other people’s attention. Or at least paying me. Geesh.
ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Bad Birthday Celebration Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Are you sure your name isn’t Donald…as in The Donald? not McDonald
Cats are fantastic furry friends. I have seven of them so I know!
Never a dull moment and they let you have all the birthday cake.
LikeLike
I seem to make people as bitter as the Donald. Wow, how do you handle so many cats? I bet there are never dull moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never a dull moment…if there is a dull one, you have to get up to find out why. Usually a creature they’ve “befriended.” I’ve saved so many from them, they now just walk away when I show up…as if they say,”the fun’s over, let’s go.”
Bitter birthday to you and Happy birthday to your unbitter boy.
LikeLike
Yeah, I always get bitter when people don’t wish me a happy birthday when it’s other people’s birthdays.
LikeLike
I’m only about a million days late, but bitter birthday to you!
LikeLike
Don’t worry. It was my son’s birthday. I was just being jealous of his birthday and him getting all the attention.
LikeLike
Hahaha, stupid cat :’)
And kudos to that make-up artist: I think I would have done the same!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not a huge fan of cats. I had one growing up and she was so annoying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cats do tend to not listen to anyone and just live their own lives. But they are furry so I like them 🙂 (I am too easy, I know)
LikeLike
You know that lions are also furry and like to live their own lives. Just sayin….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lions are great, too. You know who really are solitary animals (which adds massively to their awesomeness in my opinion)? Pandas! 😀
LikeLike
You love those Panda’s. I think someday you just need to adopt one. Or become a zookeeper in charge of them. And the best part about them is they don’t talk back. Animals are really awesome in that way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are professional panda huggers :3 Too bad my Mandarin is nonexistent… 😦
LikeLike
Who cares? I don’t think panda’s speak Mandarin.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Actually… When I was there and they told us a few words, I walked up to one panda’s enclosure and gave him my finest ‘it’s eating time’ in Mandarin. I can tell you he didn’t think twice but ran directly to his inside cage (where we always fed him).
LikeLike
So you just need to learn a few phrases that Panda’s might want to hear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The nerve of some people’s kids!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Expecially my kids. They can kind of be the worst. Always wanting attention and stuff when video games are needing my attention more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
kids are like a job they totally get in the way
LikeLike
They are worse than a job, because it is all this work and you have to pay for them. And they don’t care about you just as much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy non-birthday, Ben! How about a nice pizza with candles and the birthday song? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like people need to start calling Pizza Hut.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy birthday to little bitter ben …typo left out “little”
LikeLike
Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aaaaww Happy Birthday Bitter Ben….🎂🎁🎉🎊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll make sure to not pass that by him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have him open up one of those birthday cards he got, with the money in it, and buy the pizza for dinner tonight. And soda too. That will teach him a valuable lesson and prepare him for Halloween when you get your cut of his candy. Be strong, it’s your gift to him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That and clean up after himself for once.
LikeLike
I was already determined never to have children, but this just seals the deal. I don’t need any ungrateful offspring of mine stealing all the accolades — or worse, grabbing the first piece of birthday cake (even if it’s their birthday).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly. They sure are ungrateful little creatures. They should be happy I even helped bring them into the world.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: This Week’s Friday Feeds | Candace Vianna Writes
I know how you feel. It’s a coworker’s birthday today and everyone gave him snacks and nothing for me. Very selfish.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, some co-workers can be so selfish and make it all about them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy birthday. Is it wrong that I feel sorriest for the dolphin in that gif?
LikeLiked by 1 person
The one that jumped or the one that got landed on?
LikeLike
Yes.
LikeLike
I know right?
LikeLike
Adding this post to the list of reasons I never do birthdays… LOL!
Nice to visit you again, Ben… been a crazy year but I’m still breathing… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It has been a crazy year for sure. I have quit my job, moved and started school, all in a matter of months. Crazy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Blimey! Those are HUGE changes! I hope all goes well for you and your family!
LikeLike
I hope so too. It’s going okay right now. But we’ll see how I screw it up!
LikeLike
That is the spirit, Ben! Do not let your son ruin your day. I mean, after all, you put the roof over his head. He does deserve to give something toward that, am I right? Start ’em early!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Every day is my day. Don’t people get that by now?
LikeLiked by 1 person
If not, they should! I feel the same way.
LikeLike
Someday people will finally get it. Until then I will just have to keep reminding them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Please do. Frequently. In every post.
LikeLike
I didn’t remind people about it in this post, but I did put some people on blast. That should remind at least those people how important I am.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely! I have found that in the world of the Internet,
LikeLike
The internet needs to stop focusing on themselves and start focusing on me and my blog.
LikeLike
I have found that in the world of the Internet, people like nothing more than to be put on blast. Reddit is very tolerant & loves that gesture!
LikeLike
Reddit needs to start a thread for me. Actually they just need to start just doing the whole website sending to me.
LikeLike
Happy Birthday to your son!!! :^)!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course you would tell my son happy birthday on his birthday, instead of giving me all the attention. Typical.
LikeLike
I hope he had a great day!!!!
LikeLike
He’s lucky I didn’t ground him the whole day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You always find the best gifs. The one of the guy on a surf board being pulled by the horse is a particular gem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my goodness, yes. That guy needs his own reality show.
LikeLike
I don’t watch reality t.v….but I’d probably have to watch that one at least once.
LikeLike
That would be a ratings score for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
AHHHH Happy Birthday to Little Bitter Ben. How old is he now? Did you grunt when he blew out his candles?
LikeLiked by 1 person
We haven’t done a cake for him yet. He turned 9. Of course you would wish him a happy birthday and not send me presents. That kid is so selfish sometimes. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL I’ll send a batch of cider donuts by carrier pigeon.
LikeLike
Good. That seems like a good way for the cider donuts not to be eaten. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person