I feel like I failed you this week. Not only have I done almost no posting, but I also did a super serious one that hardly contained any bitterness other than to be bitter about younger people than me, trying to teach me something. I don’t know if it was opposite day, or I was just having some sort of crazy dream that caused me to go a little mad, but I apologize for the seriously terrible post that was. I hope it never happens again. I took a huge gamble doing that, and it failed in spades. That’s what happens when you roll the dice, or make a decision. Remind me never to make any decisions ever again. And don’t ever believe what Vegas tells you. What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay there, it comes back to haunt you. Like these giftures that rolled the dice way too hard.
Sometimes when you are dog tired…
…you have to hope it isn’t a cat-astrophe.
When you kickoff the weekend…
…hope things don’t explode in your face.
You better hope…
…that lightening strikes in the same place twice.
No matter what…
…when you are hungry, there is never enough…
But when you are stuffed…
…someone invites you over for a small meal.
Do you…
…see what I mean?
If you can’t see what I mean…
…don’t jump to any conclusions.
Just turn around…
…and don’t let your mind race too fast.
Or you mind might become…
…a train wreck.Â
But don’t be afraid…
…it’s Friday night and you just got paid. And you’re a good old boy, that doesn’t mean any harm.
So before you…
…take off too early…
Make sure you find a nice place…
…where you can party like a rock star…or a former NFL quarterback.
Clearly, this will not make up for the sheer lack of bitter content this week, but then again, I was plenty bitter about a lot of stuff this week and you should have read my mind, Monica the Medium’s. You’re supposed to know all this stuff. Why is it that I have to spell it out for all of you all the time? Does it look like I’m a blogger or something? Why can’t I be the lazy one for once?
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Roll the Dice Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
That’s OK, you had a busy week, right? And you got bitter because you took the wrong train on one day.
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Yeah, long week. Taking the wrong train, missing another. I’ve always recovered, I just miss out on an hour here or there.
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Oooh, that poor old lady! D:
I once had that, too, when I was dog-sitting. I just put his leash back on when my sister threw a stick…
No wonder I don’t get along with that sister.
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Wow that sister, not so nice. Is she an older sister? Cause I was the older brother, so I tortured my younger one just for fun and he didn’t like me much.
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Yes, I am the youngest. This sister turned into the crazy sister later, she’s pulled all kinds of crap, both innocent and really hurtful
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Uggh, bummer. I always feel bitter when siblings don’t get along.
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Oh, I get along great with my eldest sister. At least I am thankful for that 🙂
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Yeah, siblings can be tricky. We really have no choice who they are and some of them are so different from us that it hardly seems possible we come from the same parents. But there are bonds with them that are different from any others.
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Yea, well, some bonds are hard to break, but not impossible to, apparently -_- But oh well. Friends are the family you choose, right? 🙂
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That’s true. Friends can be family to fill the void that family members don’t fill.
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Amen, haha
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Well, sometimes you have to roll the dice and make a decision. You just happen to make the wrong one. That’s kinda what happens in life. I don’t like making decisions sometimes but that pretty much leaves me standing in a puddle of a mess of my own making. That sucks worse than making a wrong choice, although not doing anything is also a decision.
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So many deep thoughts going on right there. I agree. I like to make indecisions.
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For whatever it’s worth, Twister was highly significant (in a hugely insignificant way) when I myself was in college. Therefore, in my own bitter and addled mind, you have come full circle this week. Kudos.
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I clearly didn’t do that on purpose, but definitely will take the Kudos. But only because I like chocolate.
The funny thing about Twister is that I watched it the first time at a drive through and hated it. Then, about 3 or months later I saw in a theater with good sound and realized it wasn’t meant to be seen at a drive thru with tiny speakers and enjoyed it way more.
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This move has changed you, not-so-Bitter-Ben. You are suddenly full of light and hope and (dare I say it?) happiness!
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This move may have changed me, but only like energy. My bitterness isn’t created or destroyed, only changed to a different kind and in a different place.
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You are so wise. Now I know that you are definitely ready to be back at school, quoting the Law of Matter and such. Impressive.
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Yeah, I’m totally an intellectual nowadays. The down side is that I can’t keep up with blogging like I want, which is funny, because in my Social Media 105 class we have to start a blog and blog once a week. How crazy is that?
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You don’t have time to blog because you’re learning how to blog. Yay academia!
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I know. It is tragic. I have been posting, but less regular and not as funny lately. Probably because all this studying isn’t so funny.
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WHOA! Lightning Man could kill Voldemort with that thing! Or summon Monica the Medium for you. Love the old lady with the dog. Gotta be careful with those retractable leashes–give them an inch and they take a mile. 🙂
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Yeah, the lightning man is not one to mess with. Thunder man isn’t as intimidating, but he is pretty loud.
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You’re bitter enough for me, Ben. I use your blog to help me wake up in the morning. It’s sort of like smelling salts.
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I use it to help me sleep. Whenever I get too amped up at night, I read this blog and it is better than warm milk.
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That old lady in the second last gif is definitely dead.
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The funeral was Friday. She will be missed.
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I sympathize with your troubles. Decisions are never right, don’t let the goody two shoes fool you into believing that trope. I have faith that you’ll be back to your old bitterness in no time. In fact, I look forward to it.
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Thank goodness I got back to my usual bitterness. I think I hit my head.
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I thought you aimed for failure! Come on, next time own it! Or, for god’s sake, tell them someone kidnapped your blog! Or that you just wanted to make everyone bitterly miserable that day by reading your poor excuse for a blog!
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Actually what I usually aim for is the sky! And because of that, I’m always disappointed.
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Really, I thought it was the couch…
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The couch is where I sit when I’m trying to see the sky. Must be why I think the sky looks like a popcorn ceiling.
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makes sense…
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And why I always thought stars gave me asbestos poisoning.
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What the heck? Where do you even find a pan that big?
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Maybe at Pan-da Express?
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