I think we give out way too many standing ovations. Why aren’t we more picky when it comes to doing them? And once one person stands because they kind of liked something, now the rest of us are forced to stand too, even if we didn’t like it? And what if only one person was pretty good and the rest of the cast were pretty terrible? How does that justify a standing O? And why are there certain times that standing O’s are absolutely mandatory? Why can’t there just be half standing ovations? Or sitting ovations? Or laying on the couch ovations? That would would be way more comfortable for me. And how about we show our distaste for a performance or really bad movie by doing a standing no-vation? Or better yet a sitting or laying no-vation, just to show our utter distaste. That would almost make sitting through a terrible experience worth it. Kind of like how you have to miserably read my blog all the time.
Let’s start the performances so we can do our sitting no-vations….
Give it up for…
…number 5! He really knows how to stumble and bumble.
And these guys who dove right in…
…they should get half scores for jumping into the tiny cup shaped pool.
And this guy…
…I’d give him a hand, because it looks like he is going to need one.
And I would applaud Big Willy Smith…
…but he seems to be floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee.
This pup is on the up and up…
…until he gets dog tired and gets bushwacked.
Just make sure you applaud Farley’s efforts…
…or he’ll go Super, you know what I’m Saiyan?
Let’s try to get things under control…
…before there is a Stock Market crash.
I applaud this guy for doing his best…
…to do a standing NO. Too bad he could only do a flying NO.
She started trying to do a standing NO…
…but ended up doing a falling NO.
This guy was crushing on a girl…
…and fell head over heals for her.
This guy was trying to win first place…
…I think he got what he was gunning for.
And I think the only people left to do a standing No…
…for these guys, is the citizens of Jupiter, because they are stupider.
And that is our pathetic performance of the week. Now that it is all finished, let’s show our dispreciation for a job horribly done. Standing no-vation for everyone!
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter No-vation Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I once had a standing ovation while writhing in pain with a passing kidney stone. not a fun day, nor a fun wife.
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That sounds like my compassionate wife. I was deadly ill with the flu one time and she said, “Well, get over it. I’m going shopping and you are in charge of the kids.”
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How long does it take you to assemble all of these, just out of curiosity? I mean, how do you possible CHOOSE?
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Sometimes a few hours, other times a little more because the internet is a little slower. I always try to start with a theme, then just make all the gifs work somehow in the theme. If you stretch, any gif will work with just about any theme if you exaggerate enough.
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Perhaps they’re trying to justify the money they’ve spent getting in …
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Yeah, I can’t count how much money I have wasted on terrible performances, but I can count on all the great times I’ve had laying on my couch.
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Haha, great lesson to be learned there!
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The couch is always a safe place to enjoy a bad performance.
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Rule number one for musicians and their audiences: if you got your rear out of bed to sing with 103 fever, they’d better get their valued presence out of their seats to vation, as in o-vation, or you sing them a couple of encores, and they miss the train home. Now that’s bitter.
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Good thing I’m not a musician. Cause I would be pretty bitter if I had to do something like that if I was sick. And really I would only care if people gave me money. They can leave their standing O’s at home.
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Are you kidding me? You don’t even have to stand for the Stars Spangled Banner any more. Maybe you can give a kneeling ovation?
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My preferred method is the old laying at attention no-vation.
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I had to watch that second one a couple of times to figure out what was going on. Trippy. 😉
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Some really good special effects, I think. I applaud whoever did that.
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That last one made me, literally, LOL. Which is something most people don’t actually do when they say they did. I wholeheartedly agree with you on this subject. I am now off to favorite everything in my twitter feed.
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Yep, I can’t wait to only half applaud all the half impressive things people do.
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I think the next time we see something that even half way impresses us we should all lie on the floor and clap.
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That would be the impressive half ovation that nobody deserves.
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I deserve it.
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Finally something you deserve. Like your salary for working for Ben’s Bitter Inc.
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