I bet you have not been wondering at all where I have been. Which is why I’m going to tell you. Since my self inflicted unemployment, I have been not working. At least I’ve been trying not to. But for some reason, I keep having to pack, fight against dust bunnies, throw stuff away, which if you haven’t noticed are verbs, which are called the action words, which means movement, which is something I don’t like to do, unless you count laying a verb, which is something I very much like doing. Unfortunately, I’ve not been doing the laying very much.
And against all of someones else’s best instincts, instead of staying at home and doing more packing and getting more prepared for the move, we decided to go away on a mini vacation to the beach. We were welcomed with the flavorful scent of cigarette smoke, the dulcet tones of video gambling machines, and the bright seizure inducing sights of more gambling machines.
As I Pokemon Go’ed my way out on the boardwalk, to escape the smoky seizure lights, I was met with something that no one would normally describe as a beach vacation. There were no sunny skies, no white sands and no cool, calm breezes or waves.
These are the beaches of the Northwest. Full of windiness only good enough for flying a kite, like people keep telling me to go do quite often and fishy smells, which kind of seems fishy to me.
We did manage to place our feet in the dirty sand, but not without avoiding jellyfish and debris and a whole lotta cold water that could only be described as not crystal clear. Weirdly enough, we ended up finding some ancient drawings on the beach that we’re not sure meant much but we’ll let you make the call.
Thankfully, I was able to find a television in my room, which though not an 80 inch 4KTV, still showed programs. There were no couches to make me feel at home, but they did have really uncomfortable beds to help complete the home feel.
Thankfully, the ride home made me feel loved. Just so you know, feeling loved feels an awful lot like being squished in the back seat, between two kids both leaning on you, causing immense pain in your shoulders and nowhere to put your long legs. Good thing we have no other longs trips to take in the near future.
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Son of a Beach Comber Ben
Must have been really great just chillin’ out! 🙂
(btw, I was really entertained reading the comments, too!) 🙂
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It would have been nice if it wasn’t so scary at the beach. It’s weird how my blog ended up on the beach though.
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That little girl and this line….’to escape the smoky seizure lights,’ got me. Thanks for the laugh Ben. Shared on my Posts of Note today.
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I always appreciate you doing that. The casino was pretty scary. Not like the ones in Vegas that don’t constantly smell like smoke.
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Pingback: Posts Of Note (Week 19) – A Kinder Way
I bitterly jealous of your vacation, mini and uncomfortable though it may have been. I am not, however, bitterly jealous of your moving. Moving is awful. My condolences.
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Most people are jealous of vacations, but none are like my bitter ones. Though it sounds like your situation is one that would merit going anywhere else.
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I left two nearly identical comments. I blame the booze!
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I blame the beaches. The son of a beaches.
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I like it, makes me look less like an alcoholic 😂
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And who wants to be labeled one of those?
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I live up in WA state. As a person raised in Hawai’i, I can definitively state that the beaches here suck. But I’m fine with it since I’m scared shitless that jaws will eat me the moment my big toe touches ocean.
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I love up in WA state. As a kid from Hawai’i, I can definitively state the beaches here suck. But I’m cool with it since I’m scared shirtless that jaws will get me the moment my baby toe touches ocean.
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Yeah, the beaches pretty much anywhere else are better. The only conciliation is that most states don’t have ocean beaches. But Hawaii beaches swims circles around any beach here.
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Did you win the lotto or something? No work and a crappy vacation?
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I am moving to Utah to take a little bit of school. I will be back to the bitterness soon enough. Though maybe I will win the lottery someday, by getting something published?
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Sorry to “like” bomb you–I’m doing major reading catchup!! Haved missed you! Also lololol to your sand drawing. I love it.
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I love when you like Bomb. Makes a guy feel special. I have missed you too. I’m super excited for you to be a lawyer. I will probably need your help someday to defend me against all the lawsuits against my bitterness.
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I would be honored 😉
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In case I get in trouble for doing laziness day parades without permits.
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If there’s a hell, I’d spend eternity packing boxes, moving to a different place, unpacking boxes and doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. With, perhaps, an interlude into vacations where I’m spending time chasing after children just to make sure they don’t die.
In short, I consider what you’ve been through to be a hell that’s one notch below being in the front lines of a war.
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You better believe it. Though I think that my hell would be trying to sell my house for eternity and trying to fix everything that needed to be fixed just to sell it.
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My sister went through that 3 years ago. It was a nightmare for her. After moving to my present home 23 years ago, I swore that the next time I moved it would be to Forest Lawn.
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I assume that Forest Lawn is your local assisted living?
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Hahahaha…it’s a cemetery. 🙂
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I figured it was one of those. Well, we’ll all end up in one of those someday.
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Sounds like much more fun than sitting in front of a computer in an office all day. Are you still bitter?
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Of course. It’s just like energy. Bitterness isn’t created or destroyed, just transformed. I will just find bitterness in another form.
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Interesting hieroglyphics there! Hope you had some fun at least.
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I did catch some particularly different Pokemon and did get to eat lots of food and lay down and take a few naps, now that I’m retired.
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I’m extremely jealous because I have not been to the beach once this summer. I sat by a pool for about an hour. I’m so pasty.
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Trust me, the beach here is not something that you should be jealous of. You should want to be by a beach that doesn’t make you skin more pasty than less.
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Nice hieroglyphics! Northwest beaches do look a bit gray, huh? I cannot nap on my couch because my dogs are too busy making me “feel loved.” 🙂
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Yeah they are quite gray. But then again, should we expect anything different from a place who state color should be gray? I’m sorry to hear that your dogs love you so much. Uggh.
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toasted ben in a blanket- uhm beach blanket. with wife kids and dog on the side. No better sight. Can’t wait to see what Utah brings you.
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That sounds like a really bitter type of food. I will definitely keep you posted about the bitter adventures of Utah.
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Perhaps you should head south, the beaches are great here and we don’t mind bitter folks, they blend right in. 🙂
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I know. Every other beach is great compared to the beaches here. I would fit right in on your bitter beach.
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All that white sand and warm breeze…grrrrr
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So much happiness all around. How is a guy supposed to be bitter with all that sand and sun around.
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it’s not easy but you can do it!
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If there is something I can accomplish, it is being bitter in almost any circumstance.
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that’s the spirit!
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The bitter spirit that is for sure.
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I think the crop circles in the sand that weren’t exactly crop circles but seem to have spelled out some kind of Satanic message are very suspect and it’s a good thing you are no longer there although I would probably try to perform some kind of bitter exorcism. Also, you should probably read the blog I wrote yesterday since it’s kind of dedicated to you and stuff.
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Wow, that is a good thing I’m not there anymore, because I wouldn’t want to be involved in anything Satanic. Although, I’m surprised you were able to interpret it. Do you speak Demonic?
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lfkgoesrufoaejfgldksjfglksdY&^&^$^*&(*&()&(&^…you might want to watch yourself.
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Whoa, chill Satan. I’ve got a little more living here, before I join you.
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That’s what you think.
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Oh, I guess I should not continue to bitter blogging then?
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Well probably not. Does that make a difference?
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It probably won’t.
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