I’m know most people don’t fly the coop until they are at least 18 years old, but as a 15 year old…employee, I feel like I’m immature enough to make a failure out of myself in the big bad world of not here. So, I’m spreading my broken wings and I’m going to fly, or better yet just drive because I’m a lazy bird that just needs to get home. And it’s not like I have one of those amazing hobo sacks at the end of a stick to hold all my belongings, but a U-haul might be big enough to hold all my video games, so I’ll just have to drive that thing. Anyways, as this is only a momentous occasion just for me(it’s my last day of work), because you don’t care, and I’m not quitting the internet, I will celebrate my last day here by wearing my bitter shirt and cutting out a little early. Also, I brought my son, so hopefully he will deflect a few people from asking me what my plans are. But you can celebrate by watching some not so successful people try to spread their wings.
This guy couldn’t quite make it to space…
…but at least he brought a few people down with him.
This guy was going through denial…
…he couldn’t seem to Face his problems…
Things were flying fast and furious here…
…well slow and furious anyways…
Speaking of furious…
…this fish finally couldn’t take it anymore.
And who knew that you could fly so high…
…by running into invisible walls?
Full speed ahead…
…for the highest flying rocket you will never see.
And you’re going to go flying in fear…
…when you come face to face with…Vicious Dog Man…
And who needs to walk down the steps…
…when you can fly gracefully down them..
There’s nothing better than getting 2 for the price of 1…
…especially when it comes to TKO’s.
When they said it was the van down by the river…
…he didn’t know it meant him…
This guy was ready for a space launch…
…but he was grounded.
Let’s just say amazing gifture number two…
…is going to happen when this kid gets off the stool.
This guy was trying to achieve his field goals…
..and he did. He made it on Friday Giftures…
Well, it’s been bitter and it has been real. And it has been real bitter. Just so you know, this isn’t the Bitter End for us. It’s just the Bitter Beginning. I have many more bitter stories to tell that will be told soon….about the house, about moving and about all kinds of bitterness. So stay tuned.
Bitter Flying off in the Sunset and getting Burned Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Poor kid and the rocket. Although that was kinda cute :3
And what’s up with the Vicious Dog Man? He looks like he’s auditioning as a zombie for The Walking Dead…
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You know that does seem like a great idea. I didn’t even think about that. That guy would be great as a zombie. And he wouldn’t even know he was on set.
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He also wouldn’t need much make-up, if any at all. I mean, I think he already looks quite frightening barking away as he is.
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And that way he would have limitless job opportunities because of how many zombie TV shows and movies there are.
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I would wish you nothing but joy in your next endeavor, but I’m too selfish. I would miss your bitter stories.
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It doesn’t matter where I go, not only will I find bitterness, but bitterness will find me.
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Amen
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It has already found me. I will have many things to report.
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YOOOVe gawt 2 B kiddingding: YOU-TAW?! you will be real/reel/very close to GROUNDation ZEEEROW for bitterness. separately, we may hafta communi(forn)icate about, well, uh, some things about YouTaw. I hope you went to the so-cauld(ron) theatrical production “book of Mor(m)on”. IT IS BASED ON ABSO(u)LUTE PHACT !!
last day at your jog, nope, I mean job? un-4t-u-(in)nately, we gotts sum stupherayshun in common, be-sigheds_ … well, last daze @ jawbz sorta stuff. i’d rambull furthur, but(t) ..
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Don’t worry, I will find a way to survive and maybe even find more things to be bitter about. Hmmm, we will see.
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I look forward to hearing about your bitter goodbyes to all of your annoying co-workers!
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I can’t wait to talk about them either. They are kind of the worst, but just waiting for them to forget about me, so I can’t talk trash about them and they won’t care. Or maybe just not.
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My gosh, that fish just came outta nowhere! I’m going to save this post to watch on days when I’m feeling clumsy, to cheer me up, to remind me I am not alone. Looking forward to post-move posts, nothing makes a person as bitter as loading and unloading everything they own. 🙂
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I do enjoy that angry girl getting a fish slap to the face. Kind of instant karma in my mind. And really what would you be doing out in the crazy weather like that anyways?
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Enjoy your last day and stay bitter!
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I enjoyed leaving relatively unscathed. And I did get pizza out of it, so there is that.
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(U ‘n MEE both): pizza …and BEER. and, sadly?/wee-urdlee? –> 3 cakes.
and $150 g.c. to amazingonDOTcom. I bought a GPS, a harmonica for a friend, and a sex-thingy.
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You’ve got quite a bill going with Amazon, hope you have enough money to pay for that.
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I broke my pinky toe this morning, so I am glad to see all these people in pain and frustration like I am. I imagine some of them broke their toes as well. And as for vicious dog man–WTH?
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Yeah, watch out for vicious dog man or he will give you rabies. But the people that fall always make me feel bitter about myself.
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Congratulations on the bitter move. I just blew my mind thinking about something. I was like man it sucks to have to go to work on the last day. But if you didn’t go to work on the last day, then . . . would you even start the job at all, mathematically speaking?
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Yeah, if only I didn’t have to do the first day, I wouldn’t have to do the last. Some great philosophy there.
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Thank you.
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I can’t wait to hear about your bitter move to Utah and all of its over-friendly population.
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It should be an epic and bitter journey worthy of many bitter posts.
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May your coworkers order you a bland cake which turns gelatinous because no one wants to eat it, may it rain half way to Utah and never stop, and may your new adventures be even bitterer than the ones before.
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I’m looking forward to a completely bitter last day and long trip to Utah and a bitter experience so bad I want to cry and come back. It will provide some great bitter posts.
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But…do you cry when things get bitter…or does that fill your heart with bitter joy?
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I make tears bitter and my heart fills up…but with more bitterness.
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That’s beautiful. You should like, put that in a poem or something. Wait, on second thought…I’ve read your poems so…
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You should probably just disregard that I’ve ever tried poems and just call them rap. At least being bad at rap is respectable.
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Okay, I’ll give you that.
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Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years.
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That last gif though. He…he has to be dead.
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And probably getting mauled by Vicious Dog Man while he’s laying on the ground.
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