Doing my cow potato duty.
I was laying in my Lazy Ben recliner the other day, watching some TV and some commercials came on. As an aside, I’m pretty bad at most things, but I’m pretty good at recognizing patterns. If there were ever a job that required me to point out pointless and dumb similarities that two people had, I would be at least the Vice President of Recognition. I’m always pointing out how this person in a movie was in this one other movie to my wife, or seeing someone in totally random place at the mall and pointing out that they look totally like that one celebrity. I guess it has always been a gift to have this totally useless talent.
Talking owls in America’s Best commercial.
I know most of you skip commercials on your DVR’s, but I’ve always liked watching commercials, probably because I wanted to be a copywriter until I figured out that no one wanted to hire me. So, as an extension of my pattern recognizing talent, I have the ability to recognize ad campaigns that are similar to each other. Like for instance, there are two different campaigns, one for America’s Best Glasses, commercials and one for local college WGU, that feature wise talking owls that dispense wise advice, and both of these wise owls recommend things to humans, and the humans try to make owl puns, which are funny to them, but not to the owls.
Talking owl in WGU commercial.
While talking owls are absurd, it is allowable for them to be in those commercials because they are a symbol of wisdom. But another set of recent campaigns that is kind of disturbing to me is the cannibalistic cereals. Ever seen these? Both Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a cereal called Krave, are essentially cannibalistic cereals. Essentially among these two cereals it is survival of the fittest. Or even more cruelly, survival of the best prankster.
Krave eating its own kind.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch cannibalizing.
These strange animated cereal’s play practical jokes on each other just so they can eat each other. If these kind of shenanigans happen in our culture, we are horrified. But since these things are animated, and adorable creatures that look tasty to us, we are completely fine with it?
I know a lot of the headlines are grabbed by a woman who is leaking private emails and a guy with bad hair talking about building walls, but can we perhaps look at the real issues here? Why are we allowing cereals to eat each other? How is something going on right in front of our faces and we are doing nothing about it? Wake up people. Fix this issue. So I can go back to my Lazy Ben recliner and watch some good commercials.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Non Canabalistic Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I’m not a picky person and honestly don’t care what people say or do but it just seems odd to me that people hitch about everything from pollution to animal rights to dumbasses liketfump but nobody says anything about kids watching a cannibalistic cartoon everyday on tv seriously that’s just. Crazy
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Now, M&M’s and Snapple are using cannalbilism in their advertising; it’s a sickening trend.
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I finally googled ‘cannibalistic cereal’ and it lead me to your blog. These commercials do leave me with an uneasy feeling, to say the least. I was pleased to know I’m not the only one that notices things like this. Perhaps I’m also not alone as I talk angrily at the TV when pharmaceutical commercials are playing.
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Oh my gosh, you should probably google pharmaceutical commercials and you might come upon a post I did for that too.
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Finally!! Someone else saw that pattern and was appalled. Pop Tarts….those are creepy.
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Exactly. Why do cereals think it is okay to be cannibals. Next thing you know, people will be eating people.
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Now M&M’s and Snapple are using the same sick idea of cannibalism in their advertising.
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Can you even imagine if people did that in a commercial? It would massive chaos.
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I was wondering how they can get away with one cereal piece essentially Lilly the other one by eating it! And there is really something eerie about portrays jumping in a “pool” and end up missing legs by being eaten. I can imagine the young serial killers being encouraged right now. And no I didn’t notice the cereal/serial killer term until after I wrote it. Ha!
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Seriously, like serial killers need any more examples of people to look up to these days.
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This reminds me of Shopkins. Are you familiar with them? The human characters have little food friends who talk. The humans also have shops where they sell their little friends.
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I’ve never heard of Shopkins. I live near a Shopko though. Is that the same thing?
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I don’t know. Maybe that’s where they go when they’re past their expiration date?
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That could be true. Or they hide out there in plain site.
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Great article. I’m the cereal killer. Lol.
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Just don’t get cereal killed by cereal.
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Lmfao hahahahahahahahaaha I’m ready for them
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They can be dangerous with their blunt spoons and their dangerous cereal bowls.
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Man forget that. I’m worried about their spawns and their evolution. Lol imma start eating my cereal with water
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That sounds like a lot safer way to eat cereal.
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Ads for hair products. Have you ever noticed how they’re totally identical? Women waving their long
shiny tresses around. Please, Ben, get off the couch and fix this.
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I would fix this if the ad agencies would have hired me long ago. But I guess having any sort of experience and some sort of samples are necessary to work somewhere?
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Your blog is full of samples.
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I wish the ad agencies would look through my blog. I’m guessing they are looking at the title and going uh, we are looking for upbeat people, so no.
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How about selecting your best excerpts and sending them to a few agencies you like? A long shot, but hey.
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Yeah, probably a long shot, but with so many choices (700+ posts) it would be hard to find the diamonds among the haystack or whatever the metaphor is.
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Good call on the cinnamon toast crunch. I shuttered when the 1 literally licked the other. That may be acceptable at 3, but come on….
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I get that the cereal is good, but there has to be a better way to sell the good taste.
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Yeah, heard about these cereal killers …
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Nice one. What’s funny is I have a T-shirt that says that very thing.
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Started me thinking about their sinister brand names … we have one called Cheerios and another called Shredded Wheat … aaarrgh! … just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen!
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Yeah, those are some dangerous sounding cereal killers. I definitely wouldn’t want to be stalked by Shredded Wheat.
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it is so refreshing to see that someone finally recognized the entire species of owls for their skills in psychoanalysis
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And their ability to be smart advisers to people. And their hidden ability to talk. I forgot to even mention that Progressive or Geico used them in ads, but then again, they’ve used just about everything.
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I saw a commercial once for Pop Tarts, where the baby was eaten, or some sick mess like that.
I couldn’t bear to eat a Pop Tart for a week. One would think it’s bad advertising, especially for young children. Oh well, I guess my opinion is few and far between because it’s still on TV.
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Yeah, exactly. I was going to point out the whole Pop Tart thing where they are always being attacked by people, but at least it isn’t Pop Tarts eating each other. But still kind of creepy.
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Very creepy. It’s like ‘what were they thinking to come up with this mess?!’
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So many other things that could have been used and they used cannibalism.
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I was just thinking about those Honey Nut Cheerios commercials when the bee comes flying around with the box of cereal. I know the bee seems all warm and friendly, but in a normal situation, I would have squashed that bee SO FAST. Maybe that makes me cold hearted.
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Uh, no. I just saw a bee in our house the other day, and I was chasing the things down with a fly swatter. If that Honey Nut thing was going after my cereal, he would have been a goner a long time ago.
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Those commercials do gross me out.
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I can still see them. Who thought it would be a good idea to have cereal eat itself?
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Who knows. Some bored ad man / woman.
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It’s definitely something I would have done if I was bored.
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I’ve always hated it when ads showed foods – any foods, not just cereals – with happy, smiling faces, la la la, frolicking in a field or whatever… and then BOOM, evil human mouth comes to eat them.
Even worse is when the foods are still obliviously smiling as the fork lifts them to their doom.
WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA??
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I’m all for animated just about anything. But seeing them get eaten, unless it is me, is just disturbing.
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Hee hee…it is creepy…
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I know right? Like if that were people or even any living thing we would be way more creeped out.
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“Soylent Green is People!!!!”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IKVj4l5GU4
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Yeah, I think that movie helped cure anyone of eating people.
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Those cereal commercials always make me cringe. I’ve often wondered the same thing: “Does anyone else see the madness in this?” It’s a scary world out there, man…
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I mean I guess that means that their cereal is so tasty it would even try to eat itself, but really disturbing if not done in the context of cereal. Like straight horror movie stuff.
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You’re right. Think of the example they’re setting for our children. We need to send missionaries to the cereal factories, to convert those heathens. But the cereal I eat has already been converted. It now survives by drinking up all the milk in the bowl and getting completely soggy, before I can eat the first bite.
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I know. All I know is that the Frosted Flakes I eat are not so violent, because they aren’t getting pranked by their own kind.
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I agree, cannibalistic cereals deserve more press time. I’m kinda sick of RNC and DNC. Why all the hoopla when we already know the ending? Two doofuses will compete for POTUS and one of them will win. It’s scary, no matter what. Back to my cereal 🙂
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Yep, back to cereal violence instead of political dimwiterry.
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Cinnamon Crunch, don’t you know that no means no! Re the talking Owl eyeglass commercial…Someone actually got paid for coming up this …ad? when I think of the money I could have made had I gone into advertising!
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I would have been a great ad man. I would have had all sorts of bitter characters for all the companies. It would have been so bitter for everyone!
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We need that. Perhaps there’s still time!;)
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It’s never too late.
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that’s my motto!
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Yes, what kind of lesson is this teaching our children? Just the other day Little Joey was just sitting and looking at his cereal. He was hoping the clusters would eat the flakes.
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Yeah the kids of the world are so much more violent since those commercials came out.
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You raise a good point about our permissive society’s attitude toward cereal cannibalism. Clearly this is another example of our moral failure as a country. I do hope one of the presidential candidates takes on this issue at a presser.
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I’m okay if I eat cereal, but when it comes to cereal eating cereal, that is where I draw the line.
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Those commercials creep me out!
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Yeah, those Krave commercials are essentially horror movies, with them setting the alarm, hiding under their bed, then eating their own kinds horrifically.
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