You know when you are on a plane going to an exotic location like Bora Bora or a history filled location like Rome or London and the plane flips over? Yeah me neither. I’ve never been very exotic or have much history. I have been on a plane but usually only to places like South Dakota or Texas. On the other hand, I have seen a plane flip out. Mostly when it gets a little queasy from being afraid of heights. Because his overbearing father was a big corporate jet in the flying industry and forced him into being a flying industry just like his dad. He wanted to be a zookeeper and work with the animals, but his dad insisted. So one day on a short hopper trip to Cleveland, he flipped out. And that is when he started not giving a flying flip. Like me today.
How do you spell…
…I don’t care? Yeah me either.
Do you know what is on the menu for this evening?…
…a great heaping dish of I don’t care.
And it appears we have breaking news here on the New Chopper…
…I don’t give a flying flip.
And let me show you a demonstration…
…of how little I care about what you are saying right now.
Juuuust sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…
…a tale of an I don’t care..here on Gilligan’s IIIIIsle.
Once upon a time…
…there was a crystal and a person and I care less than the fallen snow.
And then this one time at band camp…
…there was this sheep and ugghh. don’t care.
So then there was this convention and people were speaking about…
…let me just show you my level of don’t care.
Hey you want to go grab a soda….
…yeah, I don’t really want to either.
Hey did you hear that they were going to do a new movie about a guy with superpowers…
…ooh tell me all about it…oh wait I can’t hear you… bye.
Please continue to tell me your boring story…
…I can’t wait to show you my apatheticness.
Oh you want to talk about things?…
…sorry I gotta go do…things.
So today is going to be a day. Things are going to get real average. Luckily, we’ve taken our medicine, our large dose of apathy and that will get us not caring about anyone or anything at all today. Go do stuff!
ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH…or whatever
Bitter Flying Flipper Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Great post – love it!
Please tell me how you get GIFS into a post? I have been trying for ages and keep failing. I am worried its because my blog does not have plug ins. Hope you can shed some light..
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I have the free WordPress site, so I think they come with the plug ins. I don’t know much about web design, etc. so I’m not sure how to get plug ins, but I would assume that is why you can’t. Other than that, I’m sure you know some people that are really computer saavy and can help you with that?
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I cared so little it took me 3 days to like this post instead of 3 hours. So there.
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I applaud your ability to care so little. It almost matches my “no care” attitude.
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It’s a hidden talent.
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One that you should use more often. It is breathtaking.
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Maybe I will. I’ll refrain from liking your posts until you start doubting my devition, and then I’ll hit you with several likes at a time!
And for Christmas, I’ll save them up until New Year.
I totally see potential here.
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Yes, I can see how withholding likes could make a person bitter. And then at Christmas I will feel totally sad cause I didn’t get your like at it will ruin my Christmas, just like I ruin others!
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It’s almost poetic, isn’t it?
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Poetry in motion, yes.
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That’s so funny. Lately, I’ve noticed when watching yet another commentary or pundit on TV, or listening to someone go on and on, I say to myself, “No one cares.” So sick of people who just like to hear the sound of their own voice. Feeling bitter about people who simply won’t shut up.
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People like me that just can’t stop talking about bitterness of some other nonsense.
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Bitterness is refreshing. It’s all the self-serving BS out there I could do without. Carry on, my bitter friend.
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I will carry on being bitter, but only because it is the only way I know how to carry on.
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I clicked ‘like’ but really, I couldn’t care less…
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Now I’m starting to see the level of not caring I need to see…😐
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I almost didn’t care enough to finish reading.
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That’s why I put giftures. To distract people from the terrible writing.
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Average? Hah! You’re lucky. I dream of average.
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It is a pretty big dream to be average someday.
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I couldn’t figure out the first paragraph of this post. But like the rest of the paragraphs, I really don’t care.
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Manic writing is my style. The more rushed I am, the more bitter the writing comes out. Or in other words, my writing was just uninspired and I just needed some crap intro for the gifs. So I’m glad you ignored the confusion and got to the good stuff. The gifs.
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The gifs were good. The gifs are always good. So thanks for the gifs! As if you really care.
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Yeah, I care so little that I will probably do it again next Friday.
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The best way to travel? Watching Anthony Bourdain from the comfort of your sofa.
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Ah yes, the old couch surfing/sailing across the television. There are many programs on TV showing me places that I would go if I was energetic enough to get off the couch.
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Dwight as Jim. Priceless. Just finished 9th season, again. Best show ever.
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Agreed. I need to pull out my DVD’s and watch them all over again from the start.
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“So one day on a short hopper trip to Cleveland, he flipped out. And that is when he started not giving a flying flip. Like me today.”
Well said. And now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go do the stuff.
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I’m going to go ignore doing the stuff.
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I just don’t care enough to leave a comment.
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And I don’t care to leave a response.
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Good! Because I don’t care to respond back!
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And even bitter for me, cause I’m not responding back to you.
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Oh yeah! Well….
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I could do this all day…
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But could you do this…for days??
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Probably not. It’s the weekend and I need a nap.
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Indifference is a sport like bitterness. I enjoy your magnificent apatheticism and hereby award you an all purpose gold medal I stole from the internet, which is worth nothing, which means nothing, and which I know you don’t give a flying rip about. Oh, and let’s not forget the medal will probably just be recalled as defective, because everything in the universe seems to be defective these days. It’s a wonder any of us are still alive. Cheers. Oh, and the medal is here: http://www.fda.gov/ucm/groups/fdagov-public/documents/image/UCM504246.jpg
~DM (Defective Man, I suppose)
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I want to thank the academy…and all the endorsements that are coming my way because of this gold medal.
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