I Spy with my Bitter Eye something Friday Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

When we were young, we went on road trips for our vacations, because we liked cramming 7 people in a van and trying to get to know each other more. At least the rest of the family did. I preferred to fly first class to exotic locations like Paris, Japan, Australia, Hawaii and Indonesia. Unfortunately, I was outvoted by my parents and my siblings preferred locations like Mt. Rushmore and the Hole in the Rock or whatever nonsense we would run into along the way to some secluded spot in Middle of Nowhere, Idaho. One year for vacation, we drove from South Dakota to New Mexico and back in two weeks. It was a riot camping in free camping spots and setting up tents late into the night. We considered ourselves lucky when we got to camp on the floor of a Motel 6. When we got tired of the Ipod, Ipad, laptop, smart phone, cellular phone and internet not being invented yet, we would play those family building games like uh, find all the state license plates or I spy.  By the way, my eye isn’t little, so should I say, “I spy with my normal bitter sized eye?” Anyways, here’s some giftures you can spy.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...s

…someone from Harriet Potter.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...a world leader Putin on the Ritz.

…a world leader Putin on the Ritz.

I spy with my bitter eye…

dfd

…someone a little hopped up on a little sugar.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...someone

…someone that likes to read books.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...

…a cat in the hat trying to go under the mat.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...a

…a place where jobs grow on trees.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...a

…a non confrontational, introverted goalie that loves to dance, but whose parents expected him to be a goalie when he grew up.

I spy with my little eye…

...some guy that can fly...or float...for a second.

…some guy that can fly…or float…for a second.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...a guy...that's so fly...

…a guy…that’s so fly…my…oh…my.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...

…the next great video game guy.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...our next great Olympains

…our next great Olympians.

I spy with my bitter eye…

...

…someone that doesn’t care just as much as I do.

And just like that, I zone out of the game and dream about someday having a screen that I can look at to avoid all people. To dare dream of a day when a phone will be able to be used in a car and roads trips will be irrelevant and this game will be eradicated from the earth.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Spy Ben

39 thoughts on “I Spy with my Bitter Eye something Friday Giftures”

  1. That game will never be eradicated. They teach it in all preschools. We are doomed to live with it forever. Although it may be better than the one some friends taught my kids. Whoever spots the yellow vehicle first gets a point. Double if it’s a Hummer.

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  2. The Charlie from Always Sunny one got me. I think my son feels this way. He has been looking for a job for awhile now but living in a college city makes it tough. There’s a lot of competition for all those low paying no experience jobs. 😉

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  3. I went on a sort-of road trip yesterday, meeting up with a friend who lives about halfway across the country (and it only took me a little over an hour to get there… imagine that). Anyway, said friend forgot to mention a ferry ride, so that’s what I spotted with my bewildered eyes. I remember laughing out loud when my GPS told me to “take a left after 80 metres and then take the ferry”

    Well, at least my GPS had spotted that -_-

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      • I was an only child so I just bothered my parents and eventually they put a vhs player in the car which taught me as long as you annoy people hard enough, you get what you want. It must be weird to have kids nowadays tho since the cars now pretty much all have monitors in the back of the head rests as standard features. They don’t even know the struggle of rewinding or reward systems etc

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  5. My favorites include the goalie dancing out of the goal, the cat getting through the pet door, and the beast-like beauty in the library. Hysterical! We went on a road trip last year when all of my children were officially adults, and we still played the game in which we go through the alphabet, finding items that start with each letter until we get to X where we start to change the rules and cheat or let the game fade into non-being. Any time I would attempt screen time or listening to a book on my phone, my children interrupted me. Go figure.

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      • Our days of listening to a book together are pretty much over; they prefer music; I prefer not to hear their music. I try to listen to a book, timing it for when I see them fully employing headphones or taking a nap — and it’s as if they hear some sort of alarm: “Mom’s about to pay attention to something other than me.” Mememememememememememe… or something like that.

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  8. Reminds me of the road trip game I used to play. It was called, “Are we there, yet?” The way to play this game is to ask the question every 30 seconds, until one of your parents sitting in the front seat reaches back and tries to slap you silly. If they miss you get an extra point. If it’s the driver, and he/she wrecks the car trying to slap you, you get two extra points. If you survive.

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  9. I like the punchbuggy game…you know, where you see a punch buggy and then you yell out punchbuggy! and whatever color it is and you punch the person next to you? Good times! So, when are we taking that road trip?

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