My exercise for the day.
Don’t you hate it when everyone leaves you alone at home to play video games and take naps on the couch? Or when you are shopping at a store and none of the store clerks bother to come over and ask if there is anything in particular that you are looking for and if you need anything to just go and find them? Or when you are at work, typing away on a blog post and no one bother to comes up and ask if they can offer you some worthless advice to make your post more bitter? I especially hate it when I’m on vacation laying on the beach and not one stranger comes up to me and asks if I want to be their friend. Abendonment is the worst.
Can people like me ever overcome abendonment issues? Perhaps someday with the proper amount of shock therapy and extreme behavior modification, but not everyone or everything can overcome this kind of deep seeded issue.
Maybe with some shock therapy, I’ll get over my abendonment issues.
What can we do for those that don’t respond to the therapy like we do? For instance, how about the poor neglected Jolly Rancher. Every year, millions of kids ignore the fruit flavored, sticky, hard candy until the very end of their candy piles. The captains of the candy teams always choose the Chocolates(Snickers, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers,etc) first and the fruity S’s (Skittles and Starbursts) first, then the lesser but still imminently eatable candy’s next, only to be confronted by the bottom of the barrel, and ironically named Jolly Rancher’s. How can a candy be so Jolly when they always get chosen last?
While I am a bit of a bitter dust collector myself, most people aren’t. Dust is perpetually being ignored. Dust just sits idly by in corners of desks, behind unused curtains, covering up your TV. While occasionally trying to get your attention by flitting around in the sunlight, they hope for someone to notice them. Hoping that someone will ask them if there is anything in the store they are looking for. Hoping that someone will bother them on their vacation in the sun. Hoping that one spring, maybe just maybe, they will be invited to a party instead of being shooed away from their corner where they settled. Hoping that anyone other than spider webs will become friends with them.
MySpace definitely has some abendonment issues. Once a huge superstar in Hollywosocialmedia, MySpace’s star rode fast, furious, and hot before flaming out like burnt toast. Once a social media darling, MS’s flashy, busy, more glittery look was quickly abandoned for much cleaner, less busy, and way more useful Facebook interface. MySpace became an E! True Hollyinternet story and sits sadly in a corner of the internet, hoping that someday people will come flocking back for a reunion concert, but knows that will probably never happen.
While the Microsoft family always seems like one big happy family, and some of their children are given special treatment, cough, Windows and Xbox(W&X), cough again, while others weren’t treated so well. You know how it is in some families though. The stars get all the praise, and the bigger allowance and the public praise, while the not so special children get ignored. Microsoft Zune(Y no Z?), always tried so hard, against his rival Ipod, but when none of his friends(ie games) were compatible with him, Zune soon found even his family abendaned him.
Sorry Bro, we don’t need you for any reindeer games.
Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer was a little different. He had a very shiny nose. And if you never saw, you would even say, it glows. All of the other reindeer laugh and call him names and never let him join in any reindeer games. Then global warming came and every Christmas was sunny and Santa came to say, that they wouldn’t need any reindeer with red, shiny noses, because he could see just fine thank you very much and Rudolph never made the squad. Poor Rudolph and his abendonment issues.
I hope you’ve learned much from these bitter tales. Stop trying so hard. Stop thinking you need people. And stop being so co-dependent on others and that way when people abendon you, you will be just fine sitting on your couch, eating pizza and playing video games. Or you can depend on others and learn to be bitter when they do abendon you.
Either way, you’re bitter.
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Abendonment Issues Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
We live in a society where most have there eyes glued to their cell phones. I am a social bug but I prefer my solace. A dichotomy. Bur, aren’t we all. Complicated, many stuck in their own bubbles, I don’t even know my neighbors after ten years. (Maybe because I am confined to bed) But, not one has darkened our door.
I really enjoyed this post. It seems to me you have a je ne se qoi of humor. 🙂
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I definitely enjoy my time away from people, but am pretty social on the internet. Probably because I can turn them off when I need to, when people in real life, not so easy.
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You know what would help the Jolly Ranchers… Load up on Peeps in March and give them to children for Halloween. I realize we just shifted the abendonment issue to something else, but now I’ve saved money in the process.
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That’s true. Peeps make Jolly Ranchers seem palatable. I’m okay with getting off topic. It’s what I always do when people like to talk about work at parties.
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Ah you are so right about MySpace. It is now filled with creepy men hitting on 13 year olds.
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Is it even a thing anymore? I thought they just started doing music or something. I know it’s nothing like what it used to be.
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I mean, it was a place for creepy men to be creepy so I’m sure that aspect hasn’t changed! Haha
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Luckily, I just barely missed out on the MySpace phase. I almost signed up, but thought it was a little too dark (literally and figuratively) for me.
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I’ve dealt with all my abendoment issues. Therapy helped, so did taking a lot of heavy duty laurcotics. But you personally, i would recommend Benzodiazepam….for all the obvious reasons.
LK
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I would recommend I take that stuff too. What is it again for those reading that don’t know like both of us do?
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Despite the way they sound they aren’t drugs, they’re attitudes mines from living in a bitter world. They help makes blogs more bentertaining and hilaurious.
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And sometimes we are the cure. It’s a good thing we are bentertaining and hilaurious or people would have nothing to look forward to in this bitter world.
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True. Our true power is always within, always accessible, we just have to be brave enough to fully confront that which scares and yes, of course, bitter. We always have the option of doing something—or nothing at all.
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And when it comes to inaction, I’m all over that. I almost always choose nothing at all.
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Well Ben, it ain’t easy being bitter. It takes effort. commitment and consistency. But you? With you its an art form. If you need a break , take a little vacation….say Flaurida.
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You are right. I have made it kind of a way of life. While Flaurada sounds like an awesome time, it is so hot there. On the other hand, I hear Bend, Oregon is nice this time of year.
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Oregan is probably very nice this time of year. Lauriesiana is too hot and muggy, Benessee might be nice.
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Perhaps Benus or Benus Beach would be a more exotic way to spend my summer vacation. Or going to Alaska to see the Laurie Borealis.
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Okay…..let’s call it a tie…..Bendrick or
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Good, cause the well was running pretty dry. Bendrick for the win.
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Bendrick in fact won. Season opener, in two OTs. no less. Its amazing how so bitter. Plus, the weekend is a twofer for me, OU also lost. Burnt Orange Day in the Kendrick household.
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Well, the Gardner household got a whole Saturday of no touchdowns for us and a whole lot of them for the other team.
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As an introvert I’d love to be abandoned sometimes but as a mom that’ll never happen 😀 Cherish every moment they said…
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Yeah, abandonment would be great someday huh? When does college start?
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Geez I love my alone time which happens NEVER!!! My favorite thing to do is eat pizza, lie on the couch in my wife beater, no bra and boxers. Nope not a dude here but I love some lazy time!
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Yeah, alone time is a very rare commodity these days and something you should take extremely seriously.
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Well, I could certainly do without the mall kiosk venders constantly walking up and trying to put lotion on me or style my hair. Mall kiosk employees make me bitter.
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Yeah, it’s like having to do an obstacle course just to get through there without being assaulted by perfume, lotion, or getting by a remote control drone or upgrading your phone.
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‘MySpace became an E! True Hollyinternet story’
I think I’d watch that. 😉
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I would watch it too. Another thing I could add to my Bitter Entertainment Network (BEN) when that gets up and running (I’m thinking I need some funding by the Gates Foundation).
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I’ve learned that abandonment is best handled by avoidance. Avoid attachments and dependencies on people. Avoid intimacy of all kinds. If you feel ignored – leave and don’t look back. Let it go? Ha! I say don’t hold on in the first place. See? Abandonment issues can’t grow without roots.
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Sounds great to me. I think I could totally handle that. I need to go rip up some roots!
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And here I thought this was going to be about me and how I’m not blogging any more and don’t read your blog. Never fear, I’m still reading so stop you’re whining…even if that wasn’t what the blog was about.
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It should have been all about you, and you totally abandoning us because of your “spiritual journey” or whatever you are calling your just giving up of your blog because you are too lazy. Maybe I will do a sequel to this post and just put you on blast in front of all of WordPress. I’m not bitter at all.
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Well! I will have you know that all your negativity is just rolling off of me because I am breathing and meditating and finding myself…and possible strangling someone with a pilates band.
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It’s good to see my bitterness is finally rubbing off on you. It’s only taken like three years now! I’m sure meditation and breathing will really solve those problems for you.
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Right now, as I sit here home alone while my wife galavants all over town, I have no issue with abandonment. The only issue is a small but growing feeling of bitterness, knowing that she will be home soon. With luck, maybe her car will break down. Abandonment is so nice. Until it’s time for dinner.
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Now if I could just get all my co-workers to leave and not make me do their work while they were gone, I’d be in bitter shape.
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I prefer on-line shopping just because I don’t want to be bothered with a sales person. If I wanted a sales person, I’d hunt it down and grill it. 🙂
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The sad thing is like 90% of the time, I don’t want to be bothered, but the second I need someone they either become ninja’s or can’t be bothered to look up from their phones.
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The way to get waited on in a store is to stand by something expensive and look like you want to buy it. Jolly Ranchers are my favorite candy as chocolate doesn’t last long enough. Dust would do better if it quit making people sneeze. I don’t what to tell you about the rest of that stuff.
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I think if I did that, they would tell me that I need to move to a less expensive part of the store because they know I couldn’t afford it. Then I would pull out my Visa and tell them I wanted to buy it, they would leave to get something and then I would ditch them before they could make the sale.
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That’s awful. LOL Seriously, don’t stand by the microwaves, go to a smart refrigerator or big screen TV. It works.
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They might actually believe I would buy a fridge, couch or TV, but anything, they can see right through me.
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Ha! Exactly. I too have the opposite of abandonment issues. 🙂
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I know, like how can I get people to abendon me more often.
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Hey, now. They’ll still need Rudolph in China. Their air quality is abysmal. And maybe during the summer Olympics in Brazil. Maybe it can attract all the Zika-carrying mosquitoes and save the spectators.
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They might need him, but he is probably an old retired bitterdeer will never forget how he was treated when he was younger.
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