Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sitting vs. Standing

/ bensbitterblog
The dream. Literally and figuratively.

The dream. Literally and figuratively.

Laying down on the couch is what we all fight for. It’s what we live and breathe for unless we are one of those weirdos who likes to live an active lifestyle or who craves being exhausted all the time. No matter what you do in life, admit that you do it all because deep down, in the back of your mind you are craving that moment at the end of the day, where the brown leather couch, with its comfortable cushions welcome you home.  It will greet you with its soft voice. “Yes, you’re finally home. You finally came. I’ve been waiting for you all day. Take a load off and grab some remotes, because you are home.”

Unfortunately, you can’t sit/lay/lounge there all day. People aren’t as welcoming as Oscar the Couch. They need you to do stuff for them. So you do, but only because you know that Oscar the Couch will be there for you at the end of the day.

So what are you doing when you are not in your Couchy Place? Probably one of two things unless you work at one of the places that allows naps (and if you work in of one of those places, let them know you have a solid lead on a dependable naptaker ready for a career change.) You are probably either sitting or standing. These two bitter rivals constantly fight for your time in the office space. So which fiercely different rival do you root for?

 

Sitting –  According to science or the Today show sitting is the new serial killer…they say as they are sitting down in their science chairs or their Today show host chairs hypocritically delivering us the news. And I don’t see them dying them moment they sit down. I’m sorry but the evidence just doesn’t seem play out. And I’ve been sitting for 43 years now, and as far as I can tell, I’m not writing to you as a ghost. And for some reason ghosts are always haunting me STANDING UP or floating, not sitting down. So I think quite the opposite is true. I think most people that are dead are because they are standing. Just saying.

Yeah, sitting is the worst. A huge killer. Sitters are always getting in accidents.

Yeah, sitting is the worst. A huge killer. Sitters are always getting in accidents.

Standing – So let’s say you are an advocate of standing and all the health benefits you get from standing. You run marathons for fun, you get a standing desk at work so you can jog in place while typing. You stand in lines at grocery stores and wait in lines for sold out products. You stand the whole time for concerts. You do standing ovations for even the most boring of lectures. You stand for something because it’s better than falling for anything. Good for you standing president. But if you love it so much, do it for 24 hours. Just one 24 hour period. I dare you. Can’t do it? Okay, how about 20? 18? How about 8 straight hours? Getting a little weary. Legs starting to lock up? Getting bored supporting yourself on just two legs? Take a seat bro or sister. It’s just one sit. If you love standing so much why don’t you marry it? If you love it so much do everything standing up. Sleep, watch TV, go to meetings standing up. Show the world how dedicated you are to standing. Do a stand up comedy act, even though you are terribly unfunny and are afraid of crowds. Stand up in your car and see if that doesn’t get cops and fellow commuters looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. Because you do everything standing.

sdf

Standing seems so much better.

So what are you? Are you a Stand-ard person, or are you a Sitting President? Are you Stand up citizen or are you Sitting pretty? Are Standing up to oppression or Sitting by the Dock of the Bay wasting time? Are a Stand up comedian or a Baby Sitter? Are a Standing leg curl or a Sit up?

Sitter doing just fine. Stander just great.

Sitter seems to be struggling.  Stander doing so much better.

Let me know if the comments.

AARRRRGGGGGGHHHH

Bitter Standard Sitter Ben

24 thoughts on “Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sitting vs. Standing”

  2. I can’t stand it anymore ! All right, I am a sitter but I cannot stand being told to sit. Walk into an office and the self-stuffed shirt glances up over his funky little readers and says, “Take a seat!”. Who does he think He is, telling.me…………! ; )

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  3. I’m not sure which one I prefer, but now I can’t stop singing “Stand in the place where you live; now face north…”

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  4. I shall answer in all seriousness: In my job, sometimes I sit most of the day, sometimes I’m on my feet all day (but I have breaks; we’re union). The best thing for my back is to sit most of the time, but jump up at regular intervals, take a few steps, sit back down (which most of my tasks require; too boring to explain). Ooh, when I was in the army, I had a real sit-down job and many people made it completely sit-down, messaging people on the computer instead of walking to another office or sometimes even shouting across the room. I used to buck the trend and walk downstairs to ask a question. They thought I was weird, which may, indeed, be the case. Good post.

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      • A doctor told me walking was best for your back, lying down second best, sitting the worst. I had gone in for back pain and she advised me to take 24 hours flat on my back, so I did. It was great, but I couldn’t get her to make it a permanent prescription.

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  5. My friend got a standing desk at work to keep up with the new research that says its good for you. Then they reversed their conclusions. Now they recommend a couch. Scientists!!! I just got done making new covers for the sofa cushions–yes, they do wear out if you sit on them too much. 🙂

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  6. The whole reason why I avoided the career of Stand-Up Comedy, was that terribly exhausting sounding Stand-Up part. It’s too bad I’m never funny when I’m sitting down. And I agree that standing is bad for your health. People who stand in one place all the time get varicose veins. They have also been known to faint. Nobody sitting has ever fainted, except at the thought of standing up. So thanks for standing up, er sitting down, for us sitters.

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    • You know it. I’m always glad to help out the sitting crowd. They deserve our respect sitting up for our rights. And by the way, I would love to do a sit-down comedy act, where I just sat around hoping that one of my jokes actually hit once in a while.

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  7. I hate sitting, and I hate standing – I really hate standing, because my legs start to feel weird. The worst is going into the OR and standing for 4 hours straight while holding someone’s intestines, because you can’t change positions (I am not the surgeon, just the helper). I can’t imagine how the Cardiovascular surgeons do it – their cases are 12 hours long. I’m with you, there is nothing better than coming home to the sofa. In our family, we don’t sit when we watch TV, we lie down, with our various throw blankets – I like to say it is the pre-going to be routine (Our family room has sofas and chaises to lay upon – everyone has a laying down spot). Lie down, let your heart rate slow down, watch some shows, have a snackie, get up, and stumble to bed and go straight to sleep. I think we should take lessons from our dogs, they lay down most of the day, get up, run around for a minute and then lay down again. Seems so smart.

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  8. I think this was heavily swayed to those in favor of standing and I demand a recount…even if it hasn’t been counted. And by the way, what happened to lying down? Doesn’t he/she get a vote?

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