Pre-Gaming Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

Today is Birthday Eve, which means just like New Year’s Eve or Christmas Eve it is the day before the night before something. Duh. I mean really, do I need to explain that to you? Actually, it means that I’m gonna do all kinds of wild and crazy things like get pizza, ignore people, and get my haircut. There is this thing you should know about guys and our haircuts first. We get really nervous about getting them. Am I right guys? We like to over-analyze them so much to the point that we get anxiety. Is the length going to be just right? What about the color? Is the mixture of dull brown and up and coming gray going to be the right combination? And what are the guys in the office going to say when I come in the next day? Will they say they like it to my face, but then gossip with their friends behind my back? There are just too many things that make you not want to get one at all. But, since it is my pre birthday today, I’ve decided to be brave and post a few pictures. Don’t be too judgy okay? Because that would be just enough to make this poor bitterman break down and be more bitter. So, (holding breath) I present to you, my new haircut.

From the back…

Here it is from the from

 

From the side…

ben hair side

And now from the front..

ben hair front

So…what do you think! Be honest!

Now that you have way too much to discuss with those amazing photos, let’s move on to the moving photos, know bitterfectionately as Giftures…

Let’s do some warmups for our pre-gaming…

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…by jumping a little human rope. 

Then let’s make sure we get those stupid…

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…smiles off our faces, before we really go to work.

Then let’s do…

dfdf

…some trust falling on the ground exercises. 

Then we need to do some light jogging…

sdfdf

…through our doors.

Then shoot a few warm up free throws…

sdfdf

…before we get too serious.

Actually…

adf

…let’s do one more for bad luck. 

Annnd…

dfdf

…there’s our bad luck.

Let’s get back to jogging…

We

…from our fear of ducks. 

Then we can take…

sdfd

…a little ride on the Harley Dogensen’s.

Then we can do…

sdf

…uh we’ll actually just watch some gymnastics.

Alright, now that we’ve…

d

…finally hit the wall…

Let’s just give up…

sdfdf

…and have some soda. 

Don’t pre-game too much tonight, because the real death of the party is happening tomorrow. Tune into tomorrow for a special Saturday edition(I never do Saturday posts, cause it is my lazy Saturday) of the blog where I do my annual list of things I am bitter about. Every year it gets one thing longer, because I list one bitter thing per year. Get the pattern? I didn’t think so.

ARRRRGGGGHHHH

Bitter Pre-Game Ben

36 thoughts on “Pre-Gaming Giftures”

    • There are holes all over the place. I was pretty shocked when I took the overhead view. Don’t worry, someday I will become Lex Luthor’s bitter bald sidekick and we will destroy your part of the earth. That will be our bitter revenge.

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  3. Unhappy birthday, Ben. Hope you spend it doing whatever you hate most. My dad used to say he had wavy hair… yeah, it all waved goodbye. Maybe by next year, you can use that one. 🙂

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      • If only you could have found the receipt and warranty, they could have reminded you that tires are a pro-rated item; further, they are exempt from free replacement unless you can prove you’ve had them rotated every 1500 miles (which I’m sure you do religiously, but have misplaced the receipts). I’ll leave you to stew, Ben. Have a bitter day! 🙂

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  4. Happy Bitter Birthdat Eve. Could be worse. My daughter has a stomach virus and I’ve already caught a bare handful trying to protect the new couch. (Now where did I put those F’ing tarps?!)

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  9. Unhappy Almost Birthday, Bitter Ben!!! I hope it’s as bitter as you are! I suspect it will be if you have to be a human jump rope AND go jogging just to warm up for the bitter list making. But hopefully listing off all the things that you’re bitter about will bring a sinister smile to your bitter face, and it will be a happy birthday after all. Also, the haircut looks great, so don’t let those gossips at the office say otherwise.

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    • It will be bitter because for some reason all these things are happening tomorrow (as things tend to do on Saturdays) so I probably won’t get a whole lot of celebrating, though honestly, I don’t really party. I will probably just be really happy to sit on the couch all day.

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      • Well, make sure someone at least puts a candle in your pizza so you can make a wish while sitting on the couch. Even if you don’t get to celebrate much, I hope you still feel celebrated – because you are! I, for one, am very glad that God made you! Happy birthday 🙂

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  10. Happy Birthday 😀 Enjoy your pizza and ignoring people. Haircut looks great, but the front-facing picture made me dizzy just looking at it haha. I was completely mesmerized by that cheerleader flipping around for 5 minutes straight. How does she do that without spewing everywhere? Dear lord.

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    • I was fascinated by that cheerleader too. I was almost disappointed in her when she stopped because I assumed she was going to go forever.
      And sorry about making you dizzy, but I specialize in blurry photos and that one was one of my best.

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  11. Wow, I really like the way your haircut makes you look kind of like you have two heads. Did you have to pay extra for that? Well, anyway, don’t get too carried away because I really think you should have gone with a mohawk or liberty spikes but guess you’re just Boring Bitter Ben. Happy Boring Bitterday!

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