The Matrix is my all time favorite surprise movies. After I graduated college, I continued to be just as much of a dork as I was in college and that meant I went to see a lot of movies alone. I was okay with that because it was really hard to find people as bitter as I was to go do stuff with and people are the worst anyways. So one time, around my birthday, I went to the movies without any movie in mind. I was just going to pick one when I got there. The Matrix. Interesting name. I hadn’t heard anything about it. In fact the only thing I knew about the word Matrix was the Optimus Prime had the Matrix of leadership in his chest. And since he was the coolest robot to be a truck ever, I guess it was a good thing.
As you know, the Matrix was amazing. It was one of the last movies I remember being totally and completely surprised by. Nowadays, any movie you want to see will have teasers and trailers and a pre-planned Super Bowl ad that they will pre-air before the Super Bowl just to get you excited for the Super Bowl ad. No good movies are a secret anymore. And trailers are getting better and better…at revealing everything. Which leads to massive let down.
Kind of like this post will be by the time all the hype of the first few paragraphs have worn off. As you know in the Matrix, there are huge rivalries, but none bigger than Blue Pill vs. the Red Pill.
The Blue Pill – According to the movie, “You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and you get to believe whatever you want to believe.” So in other words, the lazy pill? Laying in bed? That sounds niiice. And the steaks? Out of this world. And I’m not talking about the stakes between living and dying, I’m talking about New York Strip and Tenderloin and Filet Mignon. Red pill just gets you a little mush. On the bitter side, they don’t promise you an X1 TV remote where we could just speak into it and get the program whatever you want. Yeah, that steaks are pretty tasty, but you actually have to pay for them. And the woman in the red dress might be pretty hot, but on the other hand she is kind of annoying. All dressing up and shooting you in the face like an agent kind of sucks.
The Red Pill – According to the movie, “You take the Red Pill, and you stay in Wonderland, and I (Morpheus) show you how deep the rabbit hill goes.” If you decide to go into the Matrix, you get some pretty nice threads (all black of course), a nice remote control that allows you to jump to your death and bounce, learn ju-jitsu and kung-fu and learn how to fly. You get to dodge bullets, find a new rival that is a computer virus and get to have all kinds of philosophical conversations with keymakers, mainframes and old traffickers of information that have great taste in whine and sound like Frenchmen(while having a conversation with a guy about traffic sounds pretty dull). On the other hand, you have to go down a water slide, get metal unhooked from your spine, and sleep in a metal ship that has a way uncomfortable bed. And being the Chosen one and saving the world is kind of exhausting.
So, which pill are you? Are you a boring but safe Blue Pill person that is hard to swallow? Or are you a more adventurous, but exhausting Red Bill that causes way too many side effects? Vote down in the comments, you bitter pill maniacs…
ARRRRGGGHHHH
Bitter Pill to Swallow Ben
Great movie,
My trouble is, I took both pills. The steaks don’t taste so good, and I keep sliding down the rabbit hole I’m trying to crawl out of.
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I always wondered what would happen if you took both. Thanks for taking that bullet for me so I didn’t have to figure it out myself. Sounds like a bitter concoction of everything going wrong. Sounds like maybe I need to take them both.
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I have people or friends as most people call them to go to movies with, but I still prefer to go alone and do so most of the time. After I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m a red pill person who instantly regrets it as you might have recalled in a certain blog post of mine.
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Going to movies alone are the best. No other opinions swaying, you get there early. You don’t have to find two or four more seats, just a better experience.
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Bwahahaha. Love it.
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What’s funny is most people went with the purple pill. I guess a lot of people have heartburn like me.
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Blue would be a bitter pill to swallow, perhaps, so red!
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Both pills would be bitter to me. Either way there involves some sort of moving and decision making.
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Red pill! Red pill! Red pill!
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So you want the adventure and excitement and the mush? Sounds like a plan.
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Is there a purple?
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That would be the third choice. There is blue to forget, red to know, and purple to cure your heartburn. I think purple has been the write in candidate for the win.
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I’ll take the purple pill. That’s what happens when you mix the red and blue pills together. 🙂
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How about I send you my purple pills. Mine don’t seem to cure my heartburn.
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What cures heartburn is to stop eating crap and don’t eat for 5 hours before bedtime. The only people I know who can do that are starving in 3rd world countries.
Now you have something else to be bitter about. 🙂
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Thaat must be why I have such trouble with heartburn. So you stop eating crap. Well, I guess I’m having heartburn forever.
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First, I would ask lots of questions so I could make an informed choice. Of course, Morpheus would just get irritated and throw me out because I’m persistent. If he actually answered my questions and did not throw me out, I would select the blue pill as long as it does not mean I will die. I enjoy a calm and simple life with a bit of travel mixed in for excitement. I would not want to stay in Wonderland because it looked like hell.
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I would just do like the one guy and ask to be inserted back into the matrix. But with conditions. You could make sure that you got all kinds of money so you could travel.
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I’ll be blue…and I never really got that movie anyway. Yeah, you might just want to unfriend me now…but I’ll probably still read and comment on your blog and you’ll probably answer me because you can’t resist my annoying comments so…
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You didn’t get all the action sequences? Yeah, they can be all kinds of confusing. Yeah, you can’t look away from the accident that is this blog.
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No. I’m not really so much an action adventure kind of gal. I start out okay, then inevitably lose the plot, then ask my son what the plot was while losing whatever plot is going on while he’s explaining it to me, then tune out to what he is saying anyway, and then lose it some more.
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Why do people care so much about plot, when there are fights to be had. I means Superman vs. Batman? Who cares why they don’t like each other? Let’s fight!
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Right, like the movie is probably all about breaking from the movie so they can talk about their feelings.
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As opposed to romantic comedies that take a break from talking so they can actually do something.
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I don’t get the concept.
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I know you just like talking non stop and not taking breaks from it.
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Right, why shouldn’t I?
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Yeah, if you want to do that if you empty office(other than you imaginary friend of course) feel free, just do it away from me.
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Blue pill. I want my body reinserted into the matrix. I don’t want to remember nothing, and I want to be someone important. Like an actor. Ignorance is bliss.
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Absolutely. I want the ignorance. Give me a steak and a couch and I’m good.
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As with all either/or dilemmas, I simply reject the premise of the question. I choose the Purple Pill.
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Well at least your heartburn will go away. And you won’t have to worry about making any other decisions.
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The Matrix must have been released before Big Pharma gave “The Blue Pill” a whole new meaning. Safe and boring sounds OK to me, but it never works out that way. I think someone is slipping red pills into my morning coffee–one more thing to be bitter about.
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Yeah, safe and boring would be my choice, especially when I don’t like leaving the couch, let alone my warm environment.
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Hmm, considering the life I’m leading now, I’ll pop both those pills and keep following your blog.
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That would be funny to see what would happen if you popped both at the same time. I’m sure bitterness would be at the end of that equation regardless.
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I’m a red pill taker in my mind, blue pill in reality. btw, I saw the Matrix in England and they showed a different ending there. The screen went black and these words came up “THE FUTURE IS YOURS TO MAKE”. Or something like that.
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What they had a different ending there? That’s pretty awesome. So they are offering you a red or blue pill at the end.
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offering us the red pill
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Oh gotcha. That is kind of cool. All we got was a shot of Neo flying through the air like Superman.
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Me and my unicorns would prefer a rainbow pill. However the choice between a red and a blue makes my head hurt. Think I’ll just take an aspirin.
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I guess there is always the alternative aspirin. I sure needed one yesterday.
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I hope you didn’t eat a poisoned Easter egg.
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I probably ate a rotten egg when I was a kid.
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Oh, I am red pill all the way. But just my luck, I think someone screwed up and fed me a purple pill. Now I’m aware that the world’s not flat, but I’m stuck in la-la land with all the blue pill fans. I tried looking for a pay phone, but I guess those only exist in the other Matrix. 😛
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Well, at least with the purple pill your heartburn went away.
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Hi Ben, my first comment disappeared…Matrix Effect? Never saw any of them, never will. Not voting, going to steal some peeps from daughter’s basket now. Stay bitter, friend.
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Your comment probably went into the Matrix. Have fun stealing peeps.
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Hi Ben, enjoyed your Matrix review, now I never have to see it, ever. I think I’ll go steal some peeps from my daughter’s basket. Enjoy the day between Bitterness Bouts.
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I didn’t get any candy, except the ones I stole from my kids. I guess being bitter is something the Easter Bunny thinks makes me not deserve candy.
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Blue for sure. I want to know and understand truth. Great post.
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I think I’m with the red. Too much work to save the world. Plus steaaak, so much good steak.
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I have to vote for blue because blue is my favorite color and if I voted for red I wouldn’t be bitter about not voting for red. No other reasons.
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Good thing you aren’t worried about the consequences. No more boats if you choose the blue.
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It is often more enjoyable and less distracting to see a movie alone. Alone and drunk is even better, (as sad as that sounds). You can always go back to reality after the movie. If you are married with children, then alone and drunk at a movie you want to see is as good as a vacation.
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Yep, I have a wife and kids and when I get to go alone it is great. A movie I want to see, kids that whining. It’s great.
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you do see the red trench coat in my avatar, yes? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
the Matrix is one of my all time favorites. You can have your existentialist philosophy cake in a cyberpunk, kung-fu action movie form and eat it too (meaning, have it not suck :P) very well made throughout.
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Talk about a movie where I had no expectations. The ones that are good and you had no idea about? Those are the best.
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haha, yep
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