Sorry George, we ran out of our best seller.
I worked a shift at the jerk store this weekend. I passed out some sample insults, sold some high fives to the face, locked people out of bathrooms, and started a food fight in the cafeteria. When they finally let me go home 4 hours late, I lazed on the couch, ate my typical food that wasn’t good for me, and played some video games. When I woke up this morning something strange happened. The clocks were all fighting. Some were blinking, others were a little slow and some were trying to speed right through the day.
Then one of the clocks reminded me that it wasn’t their fault. They claimed they were all at the mercy of this “thief” Daylight savings Time. The computer clocks were thrust forward without so much as kind word. The manual clocks weren’t considered worthy of Daylight Savings “time”, so he left them in the dust, hoping that a kind soul would help them keep up in the great time race. Since no one kind was available, I was forced to chase down all 50 some clocks in the house, figure out to change each one, then hope the heck that the one clock I missed wasn’t the one responsible for waking me up in the morning.
Even clocks are lazy on daylight savings time.
Daylight Savings Time is a thief. He stole an hour of my laziness, an hour of my sit aroundedness, an hour of TV, an hour of video games, an hour of unadulterated snacking, an hour of me being bitter about the woodpecker pounding on our chimney. He stole all those things from me. But the coup de grace? He had to do it on the weekend. The time when time is in fast forward mode already. He couldn’t do it at 2 pm on a weekday when all I want to do is move the clock closer to going home or at 4 pm when I’m sitting in traffic? No he has to choose the frickin middle of the night on a weekend to fast forward. Jerk. Maybe I need to have him work a few shifts at the Jerk Store. He would offend all our customers just fine.
Yeah, you think?
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Daylight Savings Time
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Oh my God, so true! Can we discuss for a moment the ass hole who decided an 8 am game on SUNDAY MORNING was a good idea for P’s soccer? Due to Dayhate Savings Time, it pushed us to 7AM but we are asked to get there 30 minutes early sooooo really 6:30 am. Look, I’m all for additional sun light but I really don’t feel like we need to suffer for it.
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Yeah, we need to do some soccer like things. Like kick that guy for not thinking about how daylight savings might affect them.
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friday afternoon is a good idea.
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Either that or some weekday that you don’t want to be there for.
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I could answer phones for the Jerk Store… “Jerk Store, can you hold?” and after they’ve been on hold for 10 or 15 minutes, hang up on them. What do they expect, I mean, they DID call the JERK STORE!! That’s probably where cable company operators get their training. Not that I’m at all bitter about that. Nah, not me. Keep ’em coming, Ben.
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That would be great. We are looking at the right type of receptionist that would know just the right way to treat all of our disloyal customers.
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I think I’m the only person who is never affected by time change.
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You’ve got skills then. Or you don’t have daylight savings time. The extra hour completely threw me yesterday.
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da lady dee could be from aridzona? whitsch duzzn’t XXXpeer ee nts d.s.t.
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Indiana is closer for me. They started out rejecting the whole idea, but a lot of the border towns adopted it to help out the folks who live in one state and work in the other. Nowadays, it’s anybody’s guess which towns there do it and which towns don’t. I know! I’ll move there and we’ll send all the wishy-washy legislators to the Jerk Store.
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All I know is they need to quit stealing from people and just let waste our hours whatever way we want and not get them stolen from us.
And I think there needs to be a Jerk Store at near every government building.
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lucky yew! if yew werkt 4 da guv, yood know that the J.S. is an integral part of da guv. but it has a different name …
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I’d like to open a franchise of the Jerk Store, please. And I don’t want to talk about daylight savings time. It’s too soon. Obviously whoever came up with that brilliant idea was sterile and never even dreamed of having children.
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We’ll be opening franchises soon. I’ll send you an application when they become available. And dailylight savings is clearly not for people that have kids or people that don’t.
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I think we should return the Time Thief to the Jerk Store and move somewhere that Daylight Savings Time doesn’t exist!
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Actually it wouldn’t be very far. Arizona is a Daylight savings time free zone.
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I think I’ll go there.
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At least for a couple of weeks until the whole daylights thing starts wearing down.
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Right, but then it just starts again like 6 months later. Screw it, I’m moving!
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Just make sure you leave a note for your family that you are moving.
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Oh darn…I knew I forgot something!
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They probably won’t miss you for a while, until they lose something and need your help finding it.
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Must have* come up with that nonsense!
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Thanks for clarifying. Though making sense doesn’t always help me.
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Middle of the night! Some morning person must haveTN come up
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I think it was farmer’s but they don’t really need it anymore, so I think we should just do away with it.
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I hate Daylight Savings Time! D: But how come you already got it while ours is a few weeks away still? Time sure is deceiving, isn’t it 😡
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I guess we started doing it early. So does every country do it? I know at least one state here, Arizona doesn’t do it. Not sure who invented it, but they need to be drawn and quartered, or at least dimed.
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Not every country. I know Iceland doesn’t (at least is I remember correctly). My country discusses it every year, until it’s too late and then they postpone the debate til the next year.
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At least they pretend like they may or may not do it. I think the United Nations needs to just agree that no one wants it anymore and ban it.
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If you wait about seven months or so, you won’t have to worry about it.
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Nobody’s got time for that. Well, maybe I do, but most people don’t.
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The idea of time theft is so strange, especially at work. Couldn’t we all look at jobs as though they’re stealing our time and not the other way around?
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Yes, we can look at them as stealing. I’d say we should charge them for it, but I hear some jobs pay money. I think they just need to pay a little more(and by a little I mean a lot).
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