I’m not sure why Candy Crush is so popular, because why would you ever want to crush candy? There are a lot of things in this world that are worthy of being broken and I think while candy isn’t the last on the list, it is pretty close to being the last thing I would want to break. Speaking of crushing, this week has done a whole lot of that to people’s dreams. Like the dreams of a Facebook free of stupid people talking about stupid things. Like the dreams of getting lot’s of pepperoni on your pizza. Like the dreams of Leo ever getting an O Scar. Yeah, he won an academy award this week, but will he ever get an O scar on his face from fighting a bear? Let’s take a look at other people’s dreams being crushed.
This guy’s dream of being the first ever Nascar non driver…
…just took a big hit.
This computer’s dream of becoming a supercomputer…
…just became obsolete.
This goalie’s dream of becoming the world’s greatest stopper…
…just lost it’s footing.
This trio of girl’s becoming the next Destiny’s Child…
…just faced its first obstacle.
This guy’s dream of one day having a family…
…have just been kicked to the curb.
This girl’s dream of a shotgun wedding…
…were just catapulted.
Good morning, let’s get off to a smooth…
…aaaand day crushed.
This guy…
…can feel your pain.
This guy’s dream of living on the earth…
…just got buried underneath it.
This guy had dream of one day getting automatic Cheetos delivery…
…but crushed this pathetic machine because it could only bring him one at a time.
He was doing his best to cut the guy behind him…
…but the guy had to be all defensive and move.
This girl was trying so hard to fall off…
…but the guy had to use his telekinesis to stop it.
Getting your dreams crushed is a hard, but necessary step in becoming your most bitter self. I hope you can use these giftures to motivate yourself to become a more complete and bitter person. Now go out there and get your dreams crushed. Or sit on the couch and wait for the crushing come to you.
ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Candy Crushed Dreams Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I wish I had a guardian angel who used telekinesis to prevent me from fall flat on my face in public.
LikeLike
That would be helpful, but let’s hope there isn’t one for everyone, because how else would I get these gifs?
LikeLiked by 1 person
The coffee one is so cool! And, slightly creepy 😀
LikeLike
I know right? And ever evolving.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope pic comes out… saw on FaceBook, reminded me of you.
LikeLike
It didn’t come out. That’s a bitter bummer.
LikeLike
Man, that computer one. Laughed. My ass. OFF!!!
LikeLike
Almost makes me want to try it to see if it works.
LikeLike
Love the Cheetos delivery system! The dental hygienist hates it when I come in with orange pseudo-cheese stuck all over my teeth, so last time, I asked the desk clerk for my free toothbrush when I checked in. To get the worst of it off, you know? She looked down at the schedule, rolled her eyes, and said, “You’re here for a cleaning… let the girl do her goddamn job!” Oh yeah, no bitterness between those two. I still eat Cheetos beforehand, just to egg them on.
LikeLike
I totally want that Cheetos drone, but a well improved version. That can do more than 1 Cheeto.
I was going to do that to my DH, but then she made me so bitter, I decided to not brush my teeth the next day. Take that Dental Hygentist.
LikeLike
That wedding gif killed me goddamn dead for reasons I’m not even sure about.
LikeLike
My sister in law actually knows the family that has the place that does that. They offer that to anyone that comes up to the cabin.
LikeLiked by 1 person
love the links! I like to crush candy between my teeth but if I get a cavity I get mad…and bitter!
LikeLike
Yeah, going to the dentist yesterday made me pretty bitter yesterday. Getting chewed out by the dental hygienist was awesome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, i really love that…bitter women!
LikeLike
Boy did she give it me. But I should have given it to her. She was poking me with metallic instruments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
oh, the sadist, that makes me bitter
LikeLike
Maybe I need a new dentist.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We all do
LikeLike
Maybe we should just stop going to dentists.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like that idea! That will show them!
LikeLike
Yeah, I might get bad teeth out of the whole thing, but they will lose something more valuable. A customer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know…teeth…customer…I’m thinking go with teeth.
LikeLike
Payback might almost be worth it. Almost.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve inspired me to fulfill my dream of owning a convertible. Now I’m going to drive while sitting on top of my car.
LikeLike
Right? Who wouldn’t want the wind blowing through their hair and their car crashing into a pole ?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahhaha hey everyone likes crushing candy in their mouths.
LikeLike
In their mouths yeah.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are the kids still playing the Candy Crush? I thought it was the Minecraft now??
LikeLike
No the kids aren’t playing Candy Crush, the adults are. My wife is like over level 1000 on that. And my kids stopped playing Minecraft a while ago. Because I guilted them out of it.
LikeLike
How did you do that? and Can I do that to my son with all his video games?
LikeLike
Yeah, but you need to replace it with some other bad habit, or another game.
LikeLike
I may be able to come up with something…
LikeLike
How about something fun instead of whatever you were going to come up with.
LikeLike
Very funny dude.
LikeLike
Wow, that is the first time you’ve ever called me Very Funny Dude. HA! I win!
LikeLike
Yes, you win the Very Funny Dude award. It’s a gold statue of Jeff Spicoli.
LikeLike
I don’t have a California accent, so I wouldn’t be able to pull it off.
LikeLike
I’m a 28 year old kid still lovin’ the candy crush 😦
LikeLike
I’m a 42 year old guy that loves a girl that loves Candy Crush. By the way, I see that you write for Huff Post. Do they have any need of a bitter blogger writer there? Can you get me a gig there?
LikeLike
I doubt that I have any power to do so. They contacted me to blog for them!
LikeLike
That sounds awesome. How did they discover you?
LikeLike
I tweeted out my 10 Things Men Find Unattractive About Women piece and one of the editors at HuffPo found it. It was extremely random!
LikeLike
I’m guessing me ever getting a chance on Huff Po will take a little more persuasion with them. That okay, I enjoy annoying people until they just can’t take me anymore.
LikeLiked by 1 person
28?? That is a kid, ha, ha!
LikeLike
No kidding right? So many years ago….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha I suppose it is pending on who you talk to!
LikeLike
To us old people in the 40’s its young.
LikeLike
Meaning if you talk to someone who is old…like me!!
LikeLiked by 1 person