You know that advertisement for Extra gum where the guy meets the girl in high school? They have all kinds of special moments so he starts drawing them on Extra gum wrappers? Then he proposes to her by showing her all the drawings he made on the wrappers? Talk about giving extra to get extra right? Talk about romantic right?
Most of the time, extra is considered a nice thing right? Extra cheese on pizza? Extra sprinkles on ice cream? An Extra 10 minutes on your favorite episode on Netflix? Well, today is an extra day of the year. Does that mean it should be a holiday and we don’t have to work? Nope, just an extra Monday for all of us to enjoy. You know what extra means to me?
No extra sprinkles for you.
One extra blog post I have to come up with. Like it’s not hard enough to do 180 some every year. I still haven’t seen a dime from one of you guys and yet here I am coming up with yet ONE more special Extra Leap year post just for you. It’s like working every other day for the last four years at your job and not only not getting paid, but when you put in overtime get paid time and a half on the zero dollars you were getting.
One extra day where I have to pay for gas and groceries. One more day that I have to pay on my mortgage. One more day that I have to pay for cable, and energy, light, heat and electrical wires that allow people selling pest control to call me at 8:30 at night. One more day that inflation goes up and my pay doesn’t.
The leaning tower of Pizza that is me.
One more day where this crumbling tower of heart burn, this leaning tower of pizza, this duct tape held together mess of brittle bones, this storage unit of frayed nerves, this fragmented hard drive of bad ideas, this buckets of bitterness I call a body is one day closer to taking a ride on the bridge from Alaska to Russia. (For you people that like direct talk, I’m gonna die.)
One extra day of money wasted on campaigning for people uniquely qualified to scare the crap out of us. Into terrorizing all of us into thinking there is NO one left in a land mass of 350,000,000 people capable of running this country that isn’t a complete Looney Tunes nutcase. Not one person that would make us feel more comfortable running the country than Bugs Bunny, the Tasmanian Devil, Scooby Doo, Wiley E. Coyote, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Pickachu or Yogi Bear (all animals by the way).
Probably make more money for their reality show than they ever dig up in gold.
One more day of Kim making more money for continually doing nothing but complaining in a nasally voice, one more day of Patricia Arquette being famous despite her voice being more monotone than mine, one more day of an awards show being used to sell Girl Scout cookies and one’s personal political views, one more day of someone completely idiotic getting a reality show for being a rich housewife, a bachelor, a bachelorette, a hoarder, a gator wrangler, a pawn star, or a golddigger (figuratively or literally.)
One more day listening to co-workers complaining about being sick or tired, or sick and tired of being sick and tired. Complaining about how they never have enough time to do their work, but having plenty of time to complain about it. Complaining about when you send a call to them, but perfectly fine sending a call to you.
And one more day where kids that I didn’t bring into the world will be eating our food, messing up our house, and playing our video games, contributing to one more headache, more extra day of work that I will have to work in order to afford all that.
Bitter Leap Day everyone. Make sure you give extra so you get extra. Extra pain in the neck. (By the way, I assume Extra Gum is going to pay me Extra for endorsing their product poorly.)
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Extra Good For Nothing Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
“One extra day of money wasted on campaigning for people uniquely qualified to scare the crap out of us.” I love it.
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I tried not to pay attention to Super Tuesday, but it seems like the inevitable is happening. Dumb vs. Dumber is happening.
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Q. How is Ben like a newsboy?
A. They both go, “Extra, extra, read all about it!”
Thinking of entering that for the World’s Worst Joke …
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And also not funny and know nothing about politics. There’s your worlds worst joke.
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I disagree, you are hilarious. As to politics, who the hell does, least of all politicians? Hey, we’re getting away from jokes here …
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Yeah, let’s get back to the jokes. I was doing my imaginary stand up routine this morning and was getting booed off the stage. Actually, it was my worst nightmare as a stand up comedian. Pure silence.
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Heckling gives you a chance to come back, but there’s no answer to the tumbleweeds! 😦
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I figure I just start acting all crazy and then start making fun of the tumbleweed crossing the floor and see if that wakes them up.
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I spent my “extra day” doing a Rossini evening (he’s a leap day baby) for bored housewives and their bitter, or sleeping, husbands, and then watching a Dr Who rerun about a British spaceship on the back of a starwhale who’s brain is being tortured. That about sums it up.
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That does seem like about the same kind of waste of a day that I had. Leap days are the worst. I say we don’t do another one for four more years.
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I completely forgot it was Leap…Day….until about an hour ago.
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The only way it could have been worse is being on a Tuesday. A super Tuesday no less.
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Wow. This one was extra bitter. You have reached a new low. And I mean this in a nice way!
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Yeah, this was a pretty serious bitter post, but there are days where they should be. Like having to work an extra day. Why couldn’t it be an extra weekend day?
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I am an extra in the game of life. I am the guy on star trek with no name and a faded tee shirt that you know will be killed off in the first ten minutes. I am the one with a tombstone with the chisel marks that have a grammatical mistake in the writing. I am the extra which would be better spent if not spent. If I were not the first child in my family I would have been the extra baggage left at the airport. Bitter am I, say the Yoda.
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That would describe me pretty well too. I ‘m the guy in the video game that gets destroyed in the first few minutes.
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At least you get destroyed, I am not even created.
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I’ve heard nothing is created or destroyed only transformed.
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is that a transformer joke?
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No, I wish it was a joke. I’m not good at those. But I really like the Transformer ride at Universal.
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I have to admit I have watched those literal gold diggers and asked myself, why am I watching this but I couldn’t reach the remote. 🙂
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Almost all of my TV decisions depend on if a remote is close by. And if everyone else in the house has decided they don’t care what is on TV.
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You mean you didn’t get that check I sent you again?? The one that I wrote out on top of my Monopoly money?? Darn post office!
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I kept trying to but it in the bank and they kept rejecting it. I think the bank is broken.
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Well at least we know it’s not the post office! Whew!
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They said they don’t accept Bitter Ben Bucks.
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Yeah, I heard that a lot when I tried to spend the Bitter Ben Bucks you gave me for helping out with the Bitter News. I finally traded them in for a soggy napkin from my daughter.
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And you daughter probably thinks she overcompensated you with her soggy napkin.
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Right, she keeps going on about how I really should give it back…
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And how she tried to use the Bitter Bucks as a napkins and it hurt her skin from all the bitterness?
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This is starting to sound like a heartbreaking fairy tale of bitterness.
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Where the little girl gets the worst of it?
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Yep, that’s the one.
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That was a pretty bitter fairy tale.
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I’m as bitter as you about the politics. They could have at least moved Super Tuesday and made it Super Monday, so we could have one LESS day of watching children fight on the playground.
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I’m just bitter about the whole waste of time they all are. Some are good at certain things, but all of them have huge flaws that make me worry about the country in general.
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On the upside of this extra day….you get to know me for an extra day….please make the most of it.
R
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Finally a reason to have an extra day. I’ll do my best…ugh just got really tired. Maybe another day?
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One more day you can rant about life so I don’t have to. 😉
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I take the bitter bullets so you don’t have to.
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Sounds like what you need is one more day of vacation for all of your extra problems. FYI – I sent you an email.
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Yeah, in which I would waste it playing video games. I got it and responded. Thanks!
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