Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Fight vs. Flight

/ bensbitterblog
The mess I get myself into every single day.

The mess I get myself into every single day.

They say when you mess up and get yourself trapped in a corner, like when I was painting the deck, the other 20 years ago, you have one of two responses on how to get out of the mess you got yourself into.  As an expert in literally and figuratively painting myself into corners on a daily basis, I can tell you that yes, the two responses, flight and fight are legit responses.

Fight is for those weirdo people that wake up and do pushups as soon as the alarm goes off at 5 am, that only lay down so they can start their situps and have never used the couch properly to lay down, but to lift it so they can get a good burn.  Fight is for those that use the punching bag for actually punching instead of as antique dust collector in the garage or basement and who use the treadmill incorrectly as something to run on instead of as a $3000 coat hanger.  These are the people don’t like Kool-Aid but fruit punch with a kick, but only because it reminds them what they are going to do to you if put them in a corner.

Then there are the runners.  They can’t make it through a day without running.  Running errands, running their cars, running their mouths.  They can’t doing anything without running marathons.  Netflix and show marathons, work marathons, reading and writing marathons, everything they do is run in long stretches of time. Speaking of stretching, if they are running from place to place they are stretching. Stretching their legs or their arms, stretching conversations longer than they should, stretching meetings longer than they should go (like more than 5 minutes) even stretching their budget farther.  They love shoes because they like to wear them out just so they can get more.

So which one of these exhausting people are you? Let me know in the comments.

A third player enters the fray!

A third player enters the fray!

But wait! A third previously undiscovered option until this very minute by yours truly has entered the fray! The ignorer.  The one that gets trapped in a corner and just decides to ignore whatever is going on around them in the corner. Whether it is laziness, ignorance, boredom, or just plain obliviousness, these people just don’t care. You could threaten then with all kinds of harm, but nothing will get them out of the corner until they are good and ready, especially if they have a phone and wi-fi.

So, who win this epic rivalry? Is the fighter, the flighter or the ignorer?

ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

Bitter Rivalry Ben

47 thoughts on “Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Fight vs. Flight”

  1. I am all three. I remember a time when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant and going through a hard time mentally, I was in the shops holding a baguette trying not to have a panic attack and this little old lady came up to me and put her hand on my bump I saw so surprised I hit her on the head with this baguette and ran, my other half had to make my apologises for me. I was so embarressed, plus side I didn’t have the panic attack

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  2. I am all of them. I Run around, being efficient until someone gets in my way; then I punch them in the face (i.e. Fight) and continue my Running until life beats me down, and I become an Ignorer, sulking in my corner of bitterness.

    But I am the brown bunny. Because it is the cutest. I want to hold it and cuddle it and love it forever.

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  9. Hmm…a combination of the last two? I’m usually too busy being super-focused on my marathon sprint to pay attention to everything that people are saying or doing in the world outside my bubble.

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