A little quote I stole from myself. Which Lucky Wreck quoted on her blog with a fancy badge to make it look profesh.
I found out that yesterday was yet another holiday that I didn’t get off work for. National Hugger’s Day they call it. Of course, I don’t believe in hugging unless it is a passive aggressive way for me to crack someone’s ribs that I’m not real fond of. This is not to say that I shouldn’t have gotten the day off yesterday. There are a lot of holidays I take off even though I don’t believe in them. Just because I’m not a leprechaun doesn’t mean that I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, by robbing people of their gold, or pinching them a little too hard for not wearing green. And I still take every Easter Sunday off and eat chocolate bunnies even though I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny. So in celebration of National Hugging Day that I didn’t get off yesterday, I’m going to take today off of working, even though I will be here. Here are a few Gifs of things that I would rather do than hug people.
I’d rather crawl through the sewer…
…than try to crawl away from a hug.
I’d rather walk up a few steps…
…than step down for a hug.
I’d rather get my stake a little overdone…
…than having someone milk another embrace.
I’d rather swim voluntarily…
…than get hover hugged.
I’d rather get involved in a hit and run…
…than get involved in a drive by hugging.
I’d rather get rainbombed…
…than get hugbombed…
I’d rather every day be Monday…
…than any day be HugDay….
I’d rather get stuck in traffic all day…
…than get stuck in someone’s embrace.
I’d rather doing training all day…
…than get stuck in the Hugway Express.
I’d rather jump up, around and through hoops all day…
…than get stuck in the middle of someone’s hooplike arms.
I’d rather do a faceplant in front of millions on TV…
…than get hug planted in front of no other people.
I’d rather get stuck in the past forever…
…than have to embrace anyone in the future…
Thankfully, National Hug day is over, so we don’t have to live through the nightmare of getting hugbombed by someone accidentally, just like on April Fool’s day where we are on edge all day, because we don’t know what is a prank and what is not. Just be aware that next year is only 364 days away….
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter No Hug Zone Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Thanks for sharing so many ideas about what I can do instead of hugging… thanks oo bitter lord :p
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I could have listed many others but I only have so much time and so much space on my blog.
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make another post oo bitter lord
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I do posts all the time. You will always have another to be bitter about.
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Look forward to it.
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Did one this morning called the Bitter Injury report.
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I am the consummate antithesis of a hugger, except, as the blogger above said, with children. Even a quick hug is endurable (that word keeps autocorrecting….did I make it up?) if I can’t avoid it. But bear hugs? Vomit vomit. My loves-to-hug friend sent me a “Happy National Hug Day” message as a joke. I’m totally with you on this one.
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People that I don’t and are meeting for the first time, a simple nod of the head will do.
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But what if you were asked to hug an incredibly beautiful Victoria’s Secret model?
A dilemma, no?
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Such a big dilemma, but I would skip that and just go for the awkward kiss.
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Whatever’s next-
national take your cat to lunch day,
national alien sighters awareness day, aluminum hat required,
national day of revenge for cutting christmas trees- bring tinsel to wind around town hall?
National pickle week. oops. that one already exists.
Maybe national hug a pickle day? Now that one I would take part in.
Unless I work with them.
Love how bitter you are!
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I should be the inventor of holidays, because if I was I would be demanding that they be national paid day off of work type holidays.
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You know it was also Squirrel Appreciation Day, don’t you?
For me, the day started with watching one of the neighborhood squirrels plummet from a tree and face-plant in the snow. The squirrel seemed to recover from that all right, but I’m sure it would hate to know we were talking about it online.
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Which is why we should talk about him online. Because he shouldn’t have plummeted in front of people that have access to the world wide web.
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If you can’t embrace Change, you could at least say, “Yo, Change, sup?”
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I would possibly do that but only if it was absolutely necessary that I say something while passing him awkwardly in the hallway.
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I, too, am a non-hugger, except for my kids. In fact, I am a non-toucher. My personal space bubble is probably Pluto-sized. Why isn’t there a National Hands-Off Day? We could all stay alone in our cubicles and wave from a distance.
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That sounds like a real holiday to me. A vacation from other people. I’m going to start a petition, except online, because who wants to have people sign things in person?
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Yay! I’m so glad the quote graphic found another purpose! It makes me feel so opposite of bitter…which makes me feel bitter… 😀 I need to dig up your cartoon guy and some Awards stuff!
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I was just so flattered that you found one of my quotes worth doing all fancy in your awesome artwork. I’ve always been appreciative of that!
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Thank you, Ben! I have always been very appreciative of your clever quotes hilarious blog that brightens my day! 😀
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And yours too. Can’t help but be the hugest fan of you.
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Ditto, my friend!
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P.S. That really made my day! I am super grateful!! 🙂
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And that makes me feel good to make your day!
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Sending *hugs* 🙂
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You sure know how to make a guy bitter.
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“I don’t believe in hugging unless it is a passive aggressive way for me to crack someone’s ribs that I’m not real fond of.”
I can’t believe I never thought of that before myself! Thank you for opening my eyes to a new appreciation for yet another gratifying reward of the ever-powerful heart-warming, bone-crushing embrace. 😀
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I also use them to get my son to go to bed. When he asks for a hug I crush him to the brink of him not breathing and it usually get him to get riled up even more. See how ineffective they are?
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Hmmm. It’s a great idea, in theory. Perhaps it’s best reserved for one’s most deserving enemy as a “peace” offering.
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Actually didn’t some James Bond Villain use hugs, or crushing people, as his form of killing. I seem to recall…
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Just a thought, Bitter Ben. Could Hugger Day actually be an environmental plea to hug a tree? If so, are you as bitter about the planet as you are toward other people and their needy, huggy ways? Could be a whole other blog rant!
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Well, if you knew how little I liked trees (I’ve done many bitter rants about them) I would recoil even more in hugging a tree .
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That’s so bitter of you, I couldn’t stand it. Bahaha. I always type hugs and smiles, bitterly of course.
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Thankfully you don’t really mean hugs right?
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Only brutally painful, tight, bitter ones!
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Ugh, no hugs for me, thanks. I let you hug other people.
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I am letting out a bitter laugh in keeping with bitterness.
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That is the theme of the day. As well as the avoidance of hugging.
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Hahaha… sure I can’t tempt you with a hug?
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You don’t want to be involved with the awkwardness that is me trying to hug someone.
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Ha ha I just want to say…Garfield hugsz Bitter Ben 😊
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I thought you might like that.
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Indeed I did! Have a great bitter weekend Bitter Ben. 😊
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So, I play this little game…try not to laugh at Ben’s Bitter Blog. Lost again. (Sending hugs)
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Rejecting the hugs for reasons stated very implicitly on the post. As far as the little game you keep losing. I lose games all the time, so I can relate.
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“Hug” is an anagram of “Ugh”. And they have the same meaning!
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That describes my feelings about hugs exactly. Though that describes my feelings about just about everything.
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Snap!
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Did you read Stephanie’s Little Miss Menopause column yesterday? She is a well known hug hater as well. Perhaps you can get together and give each other stiff handshakes all day and sit as far from each other as humanly possible on your well worn couch while making awkward conversation.
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Yeah, I think we’ve even talked about it before. We would have the most awkward meeting if that happened that would make for the most entertaining blog posts for both of us.
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Maybe…I’m picturing something like “We sat on opposite ends of the couch. We smiled awkwardly…”
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I don’t know if there would be a smile on my end. I have a resting bitter face.
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