Yesterday was so depressing. Some weirdos in Florida and California took my winning lottery tickets from me, my idol and hero who played all the best villains, Alan Rickman died(Hans Gruber AND Snape. Two of the most bitter guys in cinema.) and once again my book didn’t get published. Some say you should actually have organized words all down on a piece of paper or a computer file in order to get a book published, but why should I do all the work? Isn’t that what publishers and editors are supposed to do? How are they supposed to make any money if aren’t coming to me demanding that they get the opportunity to publish my unorganized words? In honor of the the depressingness that was yesterday and the future depressingness of today in that I am not chowing down on my Friday pizza right now, let’s take a look at some moving giftures of other people, places and things being depressed.
Uggghhh, already, I can see…
…this post is turning out to be garbage.
Another depressing cat video…
…this is a catastrophe.
Oh, oh, oh, here we go, another guy that’s gonna fall on his face….
…ugh, what a bitter disappointment.
Ooh, ooh, maybe this kid will cry if…
…we put some brown stuff on our faces. Uhh, what is the brown stuff?
Oh yeah, entitled kid getting whatever she wants…
…let’s all Rapunzel our hair down. What? These are characters from Frozen? Well they don’t look very Frozen to me…
Wow, some people are pretty dumb…
…like for instance this guy that voluntarily put pants on…
The most depressing part of this gif…
…is that they are having an actual graduation for a kindergartner. He gets one for passing advanced naptaking? If that’s the case, where’s my doctorate?
Oh, my gosh, I feel so bad…
…for that car. Do you see how many rednecks are surrounding it?
Now let’s just stop horsing around…
…or someone is going to get flattened.
I know Judge Judy…
…my eye rolls exactly.
Exactly what happens to me..
…when I get to work.
And what happens…
…when I try to leave work on Friday.
Alright that’s enough depression for one week. Now If we could just go back to being bitter, that would be great.
ARRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Depression Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Good one. Did saturday chase the spiders away, or did they just get bigger?
LikeLike
They came down the water spout. Though this one wasn’t itsy bitsy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I especially love the cat, horse, and Judge Judy gifs! “And these are a few of my favorite things” (sung to the tune of My Favorite things from the Sound of Music!) Nice, you made me smile!
LikeLike
The Judge Judy gif is pretty much my face about 80% of the day.
LikeLike
Thanks Ben, you’ve renewed my faith in bitterness.
LikeLike
I’m always trying to help people with that realization, but so many people are trying that uplifting thing these days. It’s a constant battle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That spider dog scared the hell out of me. Among other things.
LikeLike
I can’t imagine laughing any harder if that happened. Not to me of course. But to some other sucker.
LikeLike
LOL me too. 😀
LikeLike
Cats. (You can’t see it, because Internet, but I am shaking my head in disappointment in their entire species.)
LikeLike
I agree with you Choppy. They are the worst. They need a little butt whooping. Can you tell Sarah for me?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Message has been sent!
LikeLike
Thanks Choppy! You’re a canine out of 10!
LikeLike
Whoever thought about putting the dog in a tarantula costume deserves to be slapped in the face, and then given an award. I would probably crap myself if that ever happened to me, and I’m not too afraid of spiders. Well, normal, non-dog-sized, spiders…
LikeLike
I would loved to have been the guy that did this to someone! But only someone that deserved it. Your boss perhaps?
LikeLike
Regarding publisher and organizing words: http://mitchteemley.com/2015/06/12/a-publisher-youre-wanted/
LikeLike
Yeah, I think guy probably read my book. Perhaps he should be better at reading my manuscript.
LikeLike
I love that spider dog video. Made the mistake of showing it to my then 7 year old niece… Yeah. Might have been just a touch too scary for her… I’m a bad auntie!
LikeLike
Well at least you don’t scare you own kids with stuff like that. I’m always getting in trouble with my wife for doing dumb stuff like that. As far as Aunt/Uncle anything goes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would run from that spider dog too.
Then probably try to domesticate it, succeed, and launch my revenge upon all my enemies. #greatestplanever #foolproof
LikeLike
Oh my gosh if I only had that dog and that costume. It would be the best revenge ever against people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So. Much. Fun.
LikeLike
Campuses, businesses, jails would never be the same. Do you think I can sneak one into jail for you to prank your fellow cellmates?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe in your ninja-ing skills. Lets do this.
LikeLike
Do you have a rope, a rock and a tunnel that is 500 yards long? Oh and make sure there is a thunderstorm. I’ll leave all the info under an oak tree that has no earthly business being there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have the rock, and oddly the 500 yard tunnel but I’m missing the rope.
LikeLike
I’ll sneak some in for you with the pizza. Do you want extra cheese with that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I. Always. Want. Extra. Cheese.
LikeLike
And even extra cheese isn’t enough.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the laugh out loud this morning! Those were pretty funny gifs. The rednecks comment had me cracking up! Stay bitterly humorous.
LikeLike
I will always be bitter, but maybe not humorous. I was born with bitter.
LikeLike
I’ve been eating my emotions. Now there’s no food in the house and my husband seems to think I should go to the store. Bu that requires me to get odd the couch – fact which stresses me out, making me want to eat even more. My cats are looking pretty tasty right now….
LikeLike
And why wouldn’t you eat your emotions. They taste good, especially with extra cheesiness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you should change your profile pic:
LikeLike
I probably should but I’m too lazy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This I love so much. Who knew bitterness and depression could make my day.
LikeLike
Well if anything gets me out of depression, it is the misfortune of others falling. I keep telling me son to fall down, but he won’t wait for me to film it. Which means my gifture company is off to a rocky start.
LikeLike
I’m sure I have a multi-million dollar novel somewhere in here. If only I could do a direct upload from my brain to a publisher’s computer. *Raises wand in silence for Alan Rickman’s passing.*
LikeLike
I have many in my head, but my hands are too lazy to write, edit and send to a publisher. If someone could just do all that for me, that would be great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have often done that thing with the trash can foot level. Of course a poorly designed can makes it not my responsibility to clean the spilled contents however.
LikeLike
Yeah for all the time they supposedly save, they sure end up on the floor more often than not.
LikeLike
Ummm, depressing, yeah, but thanks for the real-life ‘LOL’. I almost choked – spider dog gets me every time….
Hope you get to have that Friday pizza.
LikeLike
I will be going to get some of the life giving pizza at lunch. If I don’t I might morph into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, which would make me want pizza even more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha! It was a depressing week. But these gifs made me laugh.
Hey, Ben. You need to stop by my blog to learn how to change a setting to bring more readers to your blog. I’m commenting from the reader!!!!
LikeLike
You better believe it was depressing. I assume there will be a new lottery for me to try to win so I can get over the billions with a few millions.
LikeLike
JD has that mutant spider video saved on our media computer so he can watch it over and over. Sigh. Bitter Friday Ben. Go Hawks!
LikeLike
That dog as a spider is freaking hilarious. I so wish I could play that prank on people all the time. Though I would probably die an early death from all the laughter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
But what a great way to go!
LikeLike
No joke. Actually joke.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You need to direct all that depression into your bitterness becoming even more bitter…that’s right Ben, become one with the bitterness…oh wait, you already have.
LikeLike
Now you are sounding like one of those motivation speakers I so despise. My motivation is the couch tonight.
LikeLike
Yes, the couch is a gateway to your inner being. Get in touch with that bitterness and think about how it’s going to improve every day and make each one really matter.
LikeLike
That makes my inner bitterness want to go to sleep. It’s working!
LikeLike
You see, I knew you would appreciate my daily affirmations.
LikeLike
I have daily bitterformations, except very inconsistently.
LikeLike