My version of an inspirational quote.
One of my bitter enemies, “The Inspirational Philosopher”, the ones that wake up every morning and look at their face in the mirror and repeat mantra’s like “This is going to be a great day”, and “What inspirational thing can I learn from all the stupid mistakes I made yesterday?” start their days journey in a number of ways. They think good thoughts, they eat good breakfasts, they read inspirational things, they watch uplifting shows. Their main purpose in life is to look every single challenge in the face and take something good out of it.
The main arrow in their quiver dipped in Kryptonite is the inspirational quote. They plaster them all over twitter, Facebook, even plaster inspirational quotes Instagram. Any situation they are in, they can pull out a quote to make you feel worse about yourself (though to them it seems to be helping). Whether they are at work or school or the gym or the grocery store, shoot you in the face with their stupid quotes.
Something like, “Every journey begins with the first step”. In the same vein, every Google search begins with pretty much every thought ever. Like when you are watching the Golden Globes and you see someone that looks familiar, so you type IMDB in Google, because you are too lazy to type .com and then you find the actor. But the Google prompt comes up with a word that you find interesting and you go search them, then that leads you to remember that you needed to look something up for your school project, then to a click bait thing at the bottom of the website and all of a sudden you are reading “10 Stars Who Have Aged Horribly and you won’t Believe #6” and ordering a pizza from Pizza Hut(not that there is anything wrong with that) even though you just ate dinner and you can’t remember what you were originally searching for.
How did I end up here again?
It’s like this epic journey that began with a single step(the actor’s name) lead you to stuffing your face with Pizza Hut. Does this mean I have ADD? Does it mean that the internet really is the Matrix leading you to a decision, while simultaneously making you think it was your choice to order pizza? Or does it just mean that all things lead to me having pizza?
If you think about the population of the world (or universe) as the internet and each of us is a single website and we are all connected somehow, does that mean that Google is the great deity in the sky that is trying to connect us all (and what does that make Bing)? Does that mean that all of us could be connected directly, by just clicking a simple link? Is Facebook like our family where we simultaneously so comfortable that we go to them all the time, and on the other hand want to quit them at the same time? And are click-bait things at the bottom of websites people that are toxic(or talks-ic) to us? Do we move on from people as quickly as we do websites? What is it about the web that makes it so easy to start and so hard to quit? Why does the journey of Google get us so off the rails sometimes? What does all this mean?
Since walking on a trail to Mordor with a ring will never be my journey, maybe the World Wide Web is my journey to figure out. Thankfully this journey can be done on the couch with ability to order pizza.
What am I supposed to learn from all this? And what metaphors do you take from this?
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitterly Long Journey Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
the big bang started the bitter world and the bing bang started the virtual world I guess. I hate inspirational quotes. I dont read them I dont follow them. I dont pass them on. In short, I just ignore them. you bitterness just gave me inspiration (ironically) to write a new blog. 🙂
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I kind of wish I got slammed into the virtual world instead of this one. Endless amount of life, infinite energy, fun adventures, no boring jobs (unless you get inserted into the Sims).
And inspirational quotes drive me up the wall.
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Lol!!
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haiku:
“you would be the guy
who gets coffee for the guy
who gets you coffee”
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Yeah, pretty much. I did an accidental haiku again. I need to stop doing this.
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O to the M to the G. Loved this. You’ll be a little disgusted to know, though, that this post made me laugh and uplifted my mood even though I’ve been sick in bed for three days.
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Yeah, I’m pretty disgusted. I’m thinking you need to pay me back by being super bitter about you three days of sickness and writing a bitter post about it.
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Got me thinking … what do I hate more, motivational slogans or click-bait?
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Clearly the answer is both.
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Love “talks-ic”! Genius Ben!
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Yeah, I was talking to someone in a meeting and somehow those two words came together and I thought, I must sneak that word into a blog. Thus it was born. Love those combo words.
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I enjoy the passive-aggressive inspirational quote. “What’s your excuse?” Um, I don’t believe I was talking to you, crossfit asshole. And then I accidentally order a pizza.
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I love passive aggressiveness. Along with being taught English and Sarcasm as a kid, I am also fluent in Passive Aggressiveness.
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??? That was hardly bitter at all???
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Sometimes the bitter is pretty subtle and you have to read many times over. For an additional $1.99 I can point out where it was bitter.
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It’s like you’re in my head!
Now get out….
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It was pretty uncomfortable in there considering I’m claustrophobic.
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I sense great bitterness in you, Ben. When one relaxes into the present, you experience perfect freedom, perfect peace and perfect love. Release your questions, because within you is the power to release yourself and live abundantly in the present moment.
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You sense correctly. You must be some sort of sage that can sense that in me. As far as the rest of that stuff you tried to motivate me with, uh didn’t work. I’m still the bitter miserist.
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I am secretly a sage. These two weeks of yoga have really developed my inner eye. And what my inner eye sees is that all of your paths lead to eating pizza.
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It’s funny that you say that because I just had some for lunch. I’m not predictable or anything.
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I’m not really sure but I think it’s something about six degrees and bacon…although, quite honestly, that seems a little low for the cooking temperature of bacon…
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As long as it isn’t Kevin Bacon, I’m down for bacon on just about anything, especially cheeseburgers.
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But, don’t you just love all the fabulous photos of imaginary angels in the clouds or woodsy trails without end that accompany those heavy-handed life instructions?
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In theory yes, they look so enchanting, but if you were to ever wander into those woods there are bears and animals that want to attack you and trees falling everywhere and rivers that want to engulf you, etc.
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Hahaha!
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Every time I read a quote from the Dalai Lama on Facebook I get incredibly depressed about my own life, which — I’m pretty sure — is his intention.
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He really should quit making people so bitter.
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By the way, If I had as much meditation and sleep time as that guy, I could make up some pretty genius quotes too!
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I know! Just dressing in a ROBE each day would make all things cush.
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Or jammies.
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Websites are like rubber. People are like glue. That’s how it works for me. Often wish, when I’m in a snarly mood, that it was the other way around though.
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Yeah people are a little too interested in relationships. Can’t we just be more non verbal and skip the chit chat? Then we wouldn’t need to get some sort of adhesive every time we want to remove a human from our lives.
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What should you learn? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm? I’d start with the “X” in the upper left corner ….
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But how am I going to know what stars didn’t age very well?
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I love your version of an inspirational quote! 😂
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I think because it is true most of the time. 🙂
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