As R.E.M. said, “It’s the end of the Year as we know it, and I feel bitter.” As I do my end of year bitterness reviews, I realize how little I did, and I realize I can do way better next year. And by way better, I mean do way less than I did this year. I’m so disappointed about how much I actually did. I know I can do less next year. Hopefully, you will join me in not doing stuff in 2016, because this world was way too busy last year. Stop having kids, stop being political, stop producing stuff we don’t need, stop making money, so then the little amount I make will seem so much bigger. Here are some desprirational gifs that will make you do less in 2016.
If you keep doing things this year…
…you’ll take a lot of shots…to the um, gut.
You’ll also…
…get into some car accidents…
Then, you’ll…
…get knocked down…
For all the good you do…
…you’ll get nothing but the gas face.
You’ll get…
…the puck knocked out of you…
You won’t get…
…treeted right.
You’ll never seem…
…to get the rubber to hit the road.
You’ll never be able…
…to make any Segway’s to another subject…
Your flights will…
…probably hit the wall.
Your goals will…
..not be vaulted.
Your boss will…
…be screaming at you at some point.
And worst of all…
...someone won’t appreciate one of your bitter puns.
Go ahead and make sure you set all kinds of goals if you want, but I guarantee you will regret all of them, because won’t achieve any of them just like you didn’t last year. So go forth and fail bitterlings!
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter End of 2015 Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I doubt if Congress can do any less than they did last year, but if they can, I applaud them. Who wouldn’t want to get paid for doing nothing? Sounds like the perfect job for Bitter Ben (except for having to run a bitter political campaign, but that should come natural and require little effort). 🙂
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I’ve always wanted to be a vice president, because they get paid a lot to do nothing while still maintaining the second highest office in the land. I would just have to make sure the prez was in really good health, cause I don’t want to be that.
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I just found your blog. So very bitter, Ben. So very. 🙂
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Sorry about that. Sometimes you just stumble into something that is bitter. Hopefully you gain back your non bitterness soon.
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That won’t happen. Lol. Your blog is awesome.
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Well, I’ll have to fix that to make sure it is way more bitter then. Awesome isn’t what I’m going for here. Ugggh.
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I … I had no idea Skinny Elvis had reincarnated as racecar tires.
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He’s been reincarnated into everything else. That was just the next evolution of Elvis.
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Great post!
Now, do I wish you a bitter 2016…is that how it works over here?
BTW…I’m back in town. A hermit, I am no longer! 🙂
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Welcome back hermit! I’ll be checking out your new post when I start getting back into it after my sluggish holiday of blogging.
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“desprirational” is a great word. I googled it and came up with one single hit – this post. So you have already achieved something in 2016. (Sorry.)
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I’ve heard of demotivational. They have their own website. But despirational in Google? I have my own search? Yeah for me.
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Can I still drink alcohol or does that count as doing something?
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That sounds like lifting, so a little too much for my tastes.
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I start doing nothing on the 1st by not making resolutions
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Yep, how I spend my first day, is my goal for the rest of the year. Doing nothing.
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May all your hopes and dreams land you right back on the couch! Happy New Year Ben!
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Funny that you mention the place I spent New Year’s Eve and day.
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I’m not surprised.
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I rarely surprise anyone anymore. Unless I actually get off the couch.
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Wait…but you didn’t…did you??
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No, that would be too unpredictable for me.
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Happy New Year Ben! I’m starting off the new year with the grand opening of my fitness club Resolutions. In two weeks, I’ll be converting it to a bar for the remainder of 2016. Hope you can stop by!
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I try to sabotage my resolutions before I even make them. So far they have worked out(meaning they haven’t worked out.)
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Wishing you the bitterest of successes with that!
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Already failed at my resolutions, so doing good.
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these pain me. slip and fall, on the banana peel in the hall. Slam the drawer on my digit, watching the throwing of the midget. Human beings are a strange affair of hormones mixed with temper and angst, we are low on the ratings of quality of life.
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Yeah, people are pretty good at making fools/cracking their bones while getting it on camera.
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And we supply the means to do just that. Got to get me one of those things that roll around for my feet. A people mover: to the hospital that is.
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Sounds like a need something to start a fire, so that would do quite nicely.
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