I feel you, last minute procrastinator shoppers. I’m out shopping for my last minute gifs RIGHT NOW. For some reason all the stores seem to be closed, but I’m bound and determined…just kidding, I’m just wandering around out here. Where is everyone by the way? How is it that I’m am supposed to get someone a gif for Christmas when all the stores are closed today? I thought these businesses wanted my, uh business. And by MY business, I don’t mean MY business, but the Bitter Benjamin’s I have that are burning a hole in my pockets. These suckers don’t know that I don’t carry cash, but for some reason they seem okay with exchanging products for this little plasticy thing I have that says American Express. Are they blind? That isn’t money. But I peel out of there before they have a chance to change their minds. By the way fellow procrastinators, do you have your turkey for Thanksgiving dinner yet?
In the meantime, here are some last minute gifs you can get your loved ones.
Your shopping trip…
…might start a little slow.
Because there are a lot of…
…pushy people out there.
But just make sure to…
…hang in there…
And make sure you…
…don’t flip out.
Cause there are a lot of gifs you can get them. Like tickets…
…to an extreme sport…
Or you can get them…
…a portrait of themselves…
Or you can make someone…
…a nice dessert….
Or take their car…
…and get it cleaned…
If those don’t work…
…you might have to bring out the big guns.
Take them…
…on a trip…
Or On an…
…exotic camel roller coaster ride..
Or even…
…a trip to the moon.
Whatever you do, make sure you aren’t late. It would be really embarrassing and unacceptable to not have anything for your beloved friends and enemies under the tree on Christmas morning. OH WAIT…I gotta go before the kids are done opening presents this morning. Uggghhhh
Bitter Procrastinator Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Said the Turtle. I think I can. I think I can.
Aww fuck I cant!
I am a turtle after all.
E for effort though.
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If I was a turtle I would be like why bother. Everything is moving too fast.
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Thanks for the best gifs under the tree!
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Only the best gifs for the fans of bitterness.
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Merry bitter everything!
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Oh yes, a bitter everything to you too!
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That cake gif always gets me. I don’t think I know of anything more evil that giving someone a cake that’s actually a balloon because balloons are the worst. MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS!
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And also desecrating a yummy frosting on a balloon? Pure evil!
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I’m very guilty of the late Christmas shopping thing. I got gifts this morning too.
I’m happy it happened, my kids are delighted. I’m even happier that it’s over. I can go back to denying adulthood it’s claim over me. I refuse to adult this weekend.
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Yeah, as I was shopping on Christmas Day, I’m pretty familiar with that. Yeah, no adulting for me either, but that is all year.
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I’m just glad it’s over and done with. I unfortunately have to adult. I have two children and a home to take care of, but when I get the opportunity not to, I take it.
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Yeah, I have two kids and a home too, but I just ignore them. They take too much work.
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I love the sarcasm here. 🙂
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I learned sarcasm before I learned my first word.
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Merry Christmas Ben!
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And to you as well. A couple of days late.
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And a Bitter Christmas to you Ben!
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And a Bitter New Year to you.
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