Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

 

I feel like we are all a little out of whack here.  And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack.  I’ve noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza.  And to be honest, here, that just isn’t acceptable.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, you should be working a little harder at being miserable about your jobs, the traffic, the snow, the attending of parties etc.  You are ignoring your responsibilities of ranting about things, and I’ve got to say I’m bitterly disappointed.  It’s time to get your priorities straight and start getting a little more miserable.  Kind of like these people:

Like Poor Raiden here…

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…who can levitate the Legendary Piece of Pizza, but can’t eat it. 

And this guy who thinks its okay to eat his food…

...

…before he Instagrams it. 

This guys has his priorities straight…

...

…food before rude every time. 

And this guy’s priorities are right on…

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…neighborhood kids need to learn some manners.

And texting is always more important…

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…than operating a two ton killing machine every day of the week. 

Cause nothing bad could ever happen…

 

..cause nothing

…when you text and drive.

And when they say safety is more important than laughs…

...they clearly haven't seen Wipeout.

…they clearly haven’t seen Wipeout.

Beware of Cougars…

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…and guys dressed up as them to scare Cougars.

This kid clearly has his priorities straight…

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…if there is $500 on the line, you get back up and you get smacked in the mouth. 

In Mario, it’s all about reaching the goal…

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…and losing Yoshi is a sacrifice Mario is willing to make.

And this guys knows if he doesn’t get it together….

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…heads will roll..

So if you can’t take the heat…

...

…then get out in the cold.  

So I expect you all to go home this weekend, or to a party, to a movie or a mall, and really think about your behavior.  Find yourself.  Focus more on what kind of disasters you can be, instead of smiling or finding happiness and laughter.  We really need to you to prioritize and figure out your inner bitterness.  Bitter out!

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Prioritized Ben

25 thoughts on “Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures”

  1. You can try. But I don’t think that will work on her. That was neither the first nor the last of The Glares. Or The Shush’s. Or The “No phones, please!”s. Her bitterness rivals yours. Your Bitter Throne might be in danger of being usurped. Just saying.

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