You would think that this time of year, with the spirit of the holidays, competition would begin to tail off a little bit. But you would be wrong. Things seem to heat up even more for some reason. Rivalries start to get even more intense. The Great American Light Fight has expanded the fight to not only houses now, but neighborhoods. Intense football rivalries, political battles, even competitions for who can get more presents for their kids. But none is more intense than the internal rivalry that is taking place for my stomach.
You know how there is an intense fight for real estate in the most coveted properties in places like Silicon Valley in the Bay Area or Broadway and Park Place in Monopoly? Well, there is that same intense fight foods have real estate in my stomach. As we all know, kale, salad, and other tasteless foods have tried and failed for many years break into Bitter Ben Stomach real estate. In the end, only two things will ever be a success in the growing BBS real estate market. Salty and sweet.
The intense fight goes back and forth throughout the years, months, weeks and days. Here are the profiles for the biggest players in the food real estate market.
Sweet – Full of sugar and spice and everything nice, and the dominate food source for kids during the October months, though is in an intense battle in November and December as well as Valentine’s Day, Easter, and other holidays. The biggest player in the sweet market is Chocolate, but Fruit and fruity like flavors(Skittles, Starbursts etc) are right there taking up some of the best real estate. There are others filling out the huge market like pie, brownies, ice cream and Frosted Flakes and even straight sugar packets when desperate enough. Sugar neighborhoods are usually high intensity areas, until half and hour later when they get tired and crash.
The other big wig in the BBS real estate market is Salty. Often salty often takes up real estate in the Thanksgiving and Christmas corridors and likes to set up camp on the opposite side of the areas as sweet. They like to try to balance out the too sweet areas with just enough salty taste. Steaks, hamburgers, pasta, turkey, mashed potatoes, pizza, and others are there to fill out any empty areas. They like to set up areas in arteries and sometimes things get a little too crowded in their neighborhoods.
Regardless, there are tons of stuff that we can cram in our face center this holiday, and let’s hope you aren’t kale binging. So who’s side are you on? Are you a Sugar Rusher with a major in Chocolate, or do you own a neighborhood in Salt Love City, with additional real estate in Turkey Leg Town, and Pepperoni Pizza City?
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Food Battle Ben
I like to have a giant pile of salty fries right next to a plate of chocolate brownies. Then I take one bite of salty and my brain tells me “Woah dude, too salty! Get some sugar fast!” And I obey of course by grabbing a handful of brownies. This cycle continues until both plates are almost empty (balancing it out so they end at the same time is crucial). Then the last bite I put one fry on the left side and one brownie bite on the right.
And then I dial 911.
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I think I tend to work the sugary side first then almost always end with the salty side, because that I can take, but ending up too sweet is clearly not me at all.
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Thanks. I will stop on by sometime.
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I was once in deep conflict like you, then I discovered the miracle that is sweet n slated popcorn and my universe expanded.
That and the salted caramel fad taking over the world, makes it a better place to be
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I just can’t combine them. I’ve tried, but I think in the end, I have to separate them.
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I have to say I like to combine the two.
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Bittersweet? SaltySweet? I try to keep my separate because they get in fights all the time.
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Salty and sweet. Like peanut butter and bacon!!
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To me bacon and peanut butter are both salty. So salty for the win!
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I also eat peanut butter and dill pickles together. lol
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Now that is an odd combination, but everyone has their weird combo’s they like to eat.
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LOLZ. I’m a Bitterling? Awesomesauce!!!
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Yep, welcome bitterling.
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I’m a hypocrite. One of my favorite meals is kale salad…but then…chocolate anything for dessert.
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Uggghhh. I would just skip straight to the desert. Sorry you have a pallet that likes kale salad.
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I’ll add insult to injury – it’s organic from the farmers market – the salad, not the chocolate.
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Ouch you are hurting my intestines just hearing about it. My stomach rejects such foul good for you food.
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I’m team both. I could never choose favorites when it comes to food! I love them all equally.
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The right kind of food is awesome, but kale can pretty much go to hale in my book.
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Ugh, say no to kale!
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Whenever I get the chance!
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Salted peanuts and cashews all the way 🎇🎊🎉⛄⛄
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Salty beats sweet in my book too. Especially because sweet is the opposite of bitter.
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Team Salty!
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I’m so there with you. Sweet is okay every once in a while, but salty is way more my go to.
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I like salty chocolate. Wonder where that puts me?
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That put you stuck right in the middle of a fence, which seems a little uncomfortable.
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Ouch! I can feel the splinters. 😫
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Better get off that fence soon!
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It’s all about balance, Ben. Salty popcorn with a side of black licorice jelly beans. Homemade salted caramel fudge. A dozen sweet, chewy cookies followed by a long, sweaty workout (too much?).
Seriously, though, I am more of a kale and acorn squash lover. I know, I know…always the rebel.
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Black licorice, some people love it, others hate it. I’m on the hate it side of that. And I’m really sorry about your love of kale. That seems so depressing.
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Another favorite flavor of mine is deep-fried, although I suppose that could also be classified under salty.
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That would definitely be salty, but I think I could get behind deep frying of just about anything.
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I had deep-fried ice cream once, and I believe they often deep fry candy bars and such at the state fair.
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And why wouldn’t you? Deep fried ice cream is awesome. I would love to try some deep fried snicker bars. Now that would be amazing.
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The only place I know it’s available is the state fair, which I have not been to in years. But the last time I was there I had a blooming onion. Salty deep-fried yum!
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The state fairs are famous for their fried everything. I guess I need to go to those.
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Yeah, I haven’t been in years. Too sunny and crowded the last time I went. Perhaps I’ll find a gloomy, rainy day next fall.
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Yeah a bitter day outside would make a much better atmosphere for a bitter venue.
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I’m definitely going to take the sweet side in this debate, but can I get some pizza once a week?
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Nope. If you choose sweet, no pizza for you. Though I am allowed a snicker every once in a while.
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Never met a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips I didn`t eat in one sitting.
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I’m a salt guy myself. Though I won’t turn down sweets, I often feel the sweet taste lingering a little too much.
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CHAWWWWCK-LATE!!!! (but you can keep the Starburst).
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I guess it is okay for you to be Chawww-late sometimes. But I feel like being assalted more.
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I’m pretty good at that.
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I’m really good at assalting my food too.
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