I’m going to go ahead and assume that all of you tell the truth on every blog post you’ve ever written, because I certainly always do. Especially that time I told you about my B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness that educates willing minds about how to be more bitter. And that one time I claimed I climbed Everest. So I’m gonna go assume that a lot of you have Netflix, because well, I’ve read your posts and you said you have Netflix. And I’m also going to assume that you like to binge watch episodes/seasons of shows. Because again, I’ve read your posts and you say you do.
So let’s go ahead an assume things because you never get in trouble when you assume things, or so I’ve heard. So I’m going to assume you are okay with watching more than one video in a row on YouTube assuming it is one in a series of things. Well, you are actually looking at a guy (assuming you’ve watched videos of mine) who has produced 5 actual videos called Bitter News from the Couch. And if you haven’t ever seen them, well here is your chance to binge watch them. From the first preview, to the 5th you can watch all 6 videos. Cause that is the way TV and videos are watched now right? And who I am to ever do anything different from other people. Actually I recommend you watch them all backwards. There. See how different I am? Get all the spoilers at the beginning and then see the origin story last.
Either way, you can do something meta by watching the Bitter News from the Couch, from the couch, or you can get out of doing work while watching them at work. See how I solve all your problems? I actually like to look at as I am getting you in trouble and something else to be bitter about. You’re welcome.
ARRRRGGGGGHHHH
Bitter Binge Watcher Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Am I the only person in the universe who hasn’t watched Netflix or reruns of shows? That really makes me bitter.
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Nope. I don’t have Netflix. I just watch marathons on TV, because I’m lazy. But you can binge watch my Youtube videos!
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Sorry about the water Mr. Ben but if you wanted a better production team you probably should have offered them money instead of those IOU notes.
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I knew I should have sent you to Mars to get me some water. Now I have to deal with the junky stuff from Earth.
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It’s the zero gravity purification system where the water goes up instead of down.
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So it would come out of the ground and splash me in the face in the morning. Totally sounds like a reason to get off the couch and go to Mars.
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Ah, who are you fooling? Get off the couch? You?
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Only so I could find a more comfortable couch on Mars.
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Which I’m sure they have in abundance.
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If they don’t, why would anyone want to go there in the first place?
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I’m not saying you should assume anything about me, but you can take it for granted that anything I say in my blog is the truth. I will binge watch (that’s a new expression, by the way; it used to be a marathon, or having a film festival,if it was movies. Just saying) your bitter videos later when my computer stops acting up. I feel certain that it will be a learning experience.
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I know. The good old days we called them marathons. And they were way better than binging, because we earned them. They weren’t handed to us a on silver platter like they are now.
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On the other hand, sometimes it’s nice to have something handed to me on a silver platter. Just saying.
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No joke, but as a bitter man, it will never happen which is why I’m so bitter.
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No one will ever serve you anything on a silver platter? Say it ain’t so!
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At least some people could serve me on a Bitter Platter.
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That would be nice, wouldn’t it?
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Every once in a while yeah. Though I wouldn’t be bitter if things happened for me.
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Sure you would. You’re talented that way.
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Yeah, pretty talented in bitterness.
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