This is no ordinary library, where I’m sitting at the help desk quietly ignoring your requests for help. This isn’t a place where you whisper in your screaming voice to all your neighbors about what you are reading. This is the Bitter Library of Giftures. We are similar to other libraries in that we have books that teach, enlighten, and entertain, and bitterize, but we expand on those things to give you a much more well rounded bitter experience. Come get your library card and get ready for some magical bitterness. After you’re done, make sure to put your giftures back on the shelf where they belong or I will have the pages come by and beat you with a ruler. Just remember, a gifture is worth 10,000 words.
Before we get started I need to shush some troublemaking celebs…
…they are all sensibly chuckling in the magazine section.
In our British section you can check out a book on Wales…
….or almost get nailed by one.
Similarly, in our Harry Potter Section, you can check out the books…
…or catch some live Quidditch practice.
In our sports section you might find a book on gymnastics…
…or see some artistic feats being performed live.
Find a book about how to build stairs…
…or experience falling down them on your own.
If you need to learn more about the fall, find a book with a lot of leaves…
…or learn about fall in a whole new way with leaves nearby.
Find a book about the Pyramids of Giza…
…or find out how to build and destroy a pyramid on your own.
Check out a book on the Wright Bros. and the joy of flight…
…or experience the bitterness of getting grounded.
Check out a book on How to Fix cars…
…or experience for yourself getting “stuck” in traffic.
Go check out a book on animal training…
…or teach them how to do tricks on their own.
All the books in the library are free to check out…
…but the vending machines are not.
So get here however you can..
…whether by bus…or car…
Or even…
…by golf cart.
Just make sure you bring your library card and get ready to learn how to be bitter. Make sure you have a bitter weekend.
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Library Of Giftures Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Sign me up! I want a bitter library card and by the way, can we dance on the wall like in Breakfast Club? 🙂
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Yes. As long as I don’t catch you. Otherwise I will tell you I’m watching you and give you the devil fingers. Also don’t check out the gifs for more than two weeks, or you will get an overdue fine.
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“Yeah, it’s dark, dreary, and spattered with whale meat.” -The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adam
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That was a whale of story.
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If a gif is worth 10,000 words, will 5 gif’s win you a NaNoWriMo tshirt?
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That’s a good point. I won NaNoGifMo!
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Hey! I used to be a children’s librarian and I loved helping people! LOL!
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But why would you ever want to help people? Especially if they were anything like me. Bitter.
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Hahaha! I especially wanted to help the bitter ones like you Ben! I made it my mission to makes them smile.😊
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Many people try to do that, but I have a resting bitter face, so even if you got me to smile it wouldn’t look like one.
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I’m super bitter right now because the Internet is messed up and not allowing me to see all the giftures. Ughhhhhhhhhhh what else is the Internet at work good for if not reading your blog??
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The internet is always messing with my blog. Like I know for a fact like a million people read it everyday and yet like I only get like 20 views.
And yeah, the only reason I have it for is to read yours.
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True dat.
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I lost my library card and all my GIFs are overdue…and I’m not paying!!
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I have people that have ways of making you pay….
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Is it like that librarian on Seinfeld? Cause that could be frightening.
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I can’t remember the librarian on Seinfeld. But yeah my library would be frightening.
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Nooowww…I remember the librarian. If I am anything like that guy, I consider that the greatest of compliments.
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Okay then.
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You know, the kind of guy that drives other away? That’s me to a T.
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You mean other people away?? Perhaps with your outstanding grammar??
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And my bitter whit.
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Wow, I really want to know more about that bus or car video.
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Yeah. The first question that would come to mind is…How did they see where they were going?
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And why were people standing in front of them?
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Also a good questions. More questions that answers.
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“…where I’m sitting at the help desk quietly ignoring your requests for help.” <— a man after my own heart. Hi, Ben! Have a bitter weekend.
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It’s just like at my desk at work.
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cool kid, sliding spread eagle
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Yeah there are some pretty talent people in the bitter library.
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