Hey trees, how about you clean up after yourselves?
As the trees continue their jerky behavior by littering all their leaves on the ground, and not picking up after themselves, as the grass continues to die a slow painful death, and as the snowman continue to be wait in icy cold anticipation for the weather to be just right for them to come out an play, we all know, Winter in Coming. Right Game of Thrones?
Winter is coming.
Actually, I don’t know, I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, but I’ve heard that winter is coming. You know what else is coming? A bitter battle for the top half of my body. There has always been a battle brewing there.
There is the top part of my face, Bitter Mouth, is absolutely no good at saying words except, “Leave me alone”, “Go away”, and “Bensbitterblog.com, go check it out”. The teeth storage unit is very much opposed to anything but the absolutely most necessary words. When it comes to food entering Bitter Mouth, there is a bouncer with very specific instructions watching the place. He only allows the very coolest and swaggy foods to come to the party. Cheese, pizza, cheese pizza, pepperoni, pepperoni pizza, and bagels, with cheese. Chocolate, candy bars, and brownies can come but only if they bring milk as a date. Lame party pooper foods like kale, salad, broccoli, black beans, oats, lentils, and sprouts are strictly prohibited.
If you are kale, “You Shall Not Pass!”
Bitter Stomach is a hot mess. He is a non stop talker, constantly digesting things, making noise, causing havoc. He is the kid standing in front of the refrigerator, saying, “I’m hungry. There’s nothing to eat. Make me a sandwich.” He wants Bitter Mouth to give him cookies and cake, but then when mouth sends it right down, he complains that he wants kale and beans. First he is “starving”, then he’s too full. The guy just can’t make up his mind, and he’s never content. Mouth is always trying to tune him out, but stomach is so relenting, stomach always gets his way. Either way, stomach is a jerk. If you don’t feed him, he will whine and complain. If you do feed him, he will grow and become bloated. He is a lose/lose situation.
Bitter Stomach is a Hot Mess.
So, which guy is a bigger Bitter jerk? Bitter Stomach, or Bitter Mouth? Who causes you the most pain? Who do they think they are?
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Battle of Stomach and Mouth Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
A refreshing change from the blogs I usually come across. I think bitter mouth is better. 😛
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I stick with stuff I know and bitterness is the only thing I really know about. Enjoy the bitterness. And yeah the mouth is always getting me in trouble.
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Don’t worry. Maybe you can write a great post about bitter fingers? Considering that over here, you type and not say? 😛
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I think I’ve written one about Bitter Fingers, but if you decide you want to do a post about it, I won’t tell anyone.
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I think I just might! 😉
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If you do let me know. I want to read it!
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Sure. 🙂
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Sounds good!
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Just uploaded a random weird post about bitter fingers! Check it out when you have time. 🙂
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I checked it out last night. I’ll be over in a few minutes to make my comments about it.
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Hilarious. Bitter Stomach gives me the most trouble; mostly since it’s ALWAYS bitter on account of the fact I’ve tried to stop giving it potato chips with lunch.
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Yeah, the stomach gets bitter and confused because sometimes crappy stuff like cabbage and kale come down and the stomach is like what about the ice cream!
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My stomach quite literally causes the most pain! It tells me that anything too greasy sucks real bad, and rejects anything remotely like instant noodles… including KD.
But I WANT to eat the whole bag of Miss Vickie’s chips!
Then I give in and my stomach hates me, but only then does my face break out – the actual skin – and then I remember my stomach actually doesn’t want shit.
But then it tells me again, it wants cheese pizza and chips and fries. The cycle never ends!
Thanks for the entertaining read, it was lots of fun!
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I agree. It seems like stomach can never make up its mind. It wants food all the time, wants it tasty, then complains when the tasty stuff causes heartburn and upset stomach.
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Yes! Silly whiny thing.
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Yep, it needs to settle down sometimes, especially when it’s quiet like in a library or a meeting.
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Oh my. My damn, deceitful mouth AND stomach suck. My eyes too. They are too big for my fat stomach. If that can be believed…
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Maybe it is the eyes that are the instigator of all the arguments.
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Maybe!
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Hmmm. I think it’s time for bitter mouth and bitter stomach to go into couple’s counseling. Bring some Pepto Bismol just in case.
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Mine definitely need all kind of counseling. The mouth doesn’t really listen, just talks, and the stomach is only interested in food, like all the time.
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They’re going to have t find some common ground. What about Oreo cookies? Could they agree on Oreo cookies?
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If Oreo cookies are milk’s favorite cookies, I believe we can get the stomach and mouth to agree at the Food Summit.
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Let’s hope the Oreo cookies aren’t lactose intolerant!
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If so they can dip into some Almond Milk or that Lactaid stuff or whatever.
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There you go! That’s a fair compromise!
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I haven’t seen Game of Thrones or read the books. But I did play the pinball machine yesterday. If you lose the ball right away, it gives you another chance, and it shows this by animated on the scoreboard screen a dragon flying up and grabbing a pinball. It doesn’t say how you get a pinball out of a dragon’s mouth without getting bitten or swallowed yourself, though.
I guess what I’m saying is if I were swallowed by a dragon I don’t know if it’d be better to give it a sore stomach or not. Part of me would want to at least be a classy meal. The rest of me would be annoyed and wanting to get back at it.
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I’m guessing that the Dragons seems to have heartburn all the time considering how much fire they shoot out of their mouths.
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Funny!
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Yep, my bitter finger and brain fought over getting this one done.
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There is no question that my mouth is a bigger jerk. I am always saying awkward things that I wish I could take back but then I figure I’m bitter and everyone thinks I’m a jerk anyway so who cares.
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Pretty much. I try to keep my mouth shut most of the time except when eating, but every once in a while it says something snarky to my boss and gets me in trouble.
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So, just once in a while…?
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Totally. I barely ever speak out loud.
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Oh boy did I like this post! My bitter mouth causes me nothing but trouble, largely because it won’t shut the hell up! And bitter stomach, what a BITCH! And she gets to be a bigger bitch almost daily. Except for today, when I went to put on a new pair of leggings (purchased because that was easier than a bitter trip to the laundromat — don’t get me started!), chosen with attention to the size chart on the package, only to find out that the damn things were too big! What the hell was that all about? Bitter mouth has been complaining about that all morning.
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My bitter mouth doesn’t talk much thankfully, but does allow way too much good stuff in. So I think it is kind of a jerk. And stomach is always causing me back problems and other pain, so he can suck it too.
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At least my bitter mouth is sometimes successful at dishing out the sarcastic remarks. Bitter stomach has no redeeming social qualities.
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Yeah, bitter stomach is always just getting in the way.
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In every sense of the expression!
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You know it!
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actually, it’s all in the bitter mind, Ben. once again, love the blog.
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Yeah, bitter mind is making both stomach and mouth bitter.
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