The Underwhelmingly Overrated Bitter 600th Post

/ bensbitterblog

You know those movie previews that you see during the SuperBowl that get you so charged up that you are ready to run through a wall to go to the theater and watch it right now? And then six months later when you actually see the movie, you want to take a toothbrush with some toothpaste and scrub your brain clean of the memory of the movie? And then you so desperately wanted go back to the time when you only knew about the preview?

MUST GET TO MOVIE!

MUST GET TO MOVIE!

That is like how you are going to feel when you read this post after getting all the hype from the post you read yesterday.  If you haven’t, then you will want to erase this post from you memory and go back and read yesterdays.

As you can tell, this is my 600th published post and it is gonna be a bit of an underwhelmer.  It’s the post right after the Hype Machine broke.  It’s the series finale disappointer(think Seinfeld or that Who’s your Mother show) where everything was building up to this amazing ending and then you watched the finale and wanted to cry yourself bitterly to sleep.

They Hype Machine is broken.

The Hype Machine is broken.

This is the post that will not make you bitter or angry or laugh or even cry, but just want to go home and do some math.  Because that is how much more interesting math is.

600 is a nice round number, that should be famous for something.  Like a movie or an amount of laps in a race or a number of games in a season of something.  Maybe a batting average that’s been a goal or even the name of a show or something.  I Googled the heck out of that number(went to the second page and everything) and came up with diddly squat.  Nothing. Nada. Zilch.  No expression, or saying or dog was even named after it.  Completely useless number.  Will never be a part of pop culture.  And now, because I am writing about it, it will only be associated with bitterness.  But even I will write another post and tomorrow it will be just another one of my lame posts.

600, you need to get it together.  Take a trip to Europe. Learn how to skydive.  Invent a number (other than yourself, or course) or cure a disease.  Just do something with your life, because if you don’t, you will always just be known as the double zero number that doesn’t associate with anything cool.  And that isn’t cool.

Actually, just take your 24 hours of notoriousness into the bitter spotlight and do nothing with it like you always have.  Because the world is filled with people and numbers that will surely take 30 minutes and turn them in $60 million(not $600 million).  And then there are the bitter 600’s and Bitter Ben’s who will take the spotlight and shoot it out because it is getting in their eyes, and it makes them sweat.

Who knows though? Maybe you will turn things around in the six department and become 900.  Because according to Google, at least 900 is associated with skateboarding and 2 1/2 rotations.

In the meantime, welcome to the couch, 600.  May all your dreams not come true.

ARRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter 600 posts Ben

 

39 thoughts on “The Underwhelmingly Overrated Bitter 600th Post”

  1. Well. Yesterday I hit 50. Which is 1/12 of 600. I’m catchin’ up, old man! And yes, it is all about me. Congrats, and thanks, as always, for the lemon laugh. (Bitter.) (That’s the level of literary prowess I’ve developed in 50 posts).

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  8. BWAHAHAHAHA! 😂 👍 💝 THE BEST THING I’VE SEEN TODAY! Though, my day is actually just getting started. But thank you Ben. You gave me a much needed belly laugh. I’ve not had one in far too long. I could give you a very bitter kiss for doing that. 😲😗💋

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