Yeah, it’s Mondayyyyy! My favorite day of the week except every other day except Tuesdayyyy. Moving on from that sarcasm, I was walking to the library the other day(not to read, but because they have free internet there), and a lightbulb hit me over the head. Not an idea, but an actual lightbulb. It kind of hurt because it was still hot from being removed from its socket. Not the kind of hurt that will make you go to the hospital, but the kind of hurt that will stick with you like hot pizza on the roof of your mouth.
Speaking of the roof of your mouth, what is it really covering? Your tongue? Seems like if you are considered a roof, you should provide a little more coverage. The roof of my house covers like three or four bedrooms, a couple of bathrooms, a living room, dining room and a kitchen. At least the roof is covering something besides a tongue. The only time I even remember I have a roof on my mouth is when it is getting burned by pizza. Coming back to my point, I actually did have an idea.
Since I write about rivalries a lot (or at least I want to, but sometimes don’t because it seems overused) I decided that I’m going to feature a Bitter Rivalry of the Week, every single week (to assure that it is overused). I’m going to feature everything from real life rivalries that people know and care about to little known or maybe previously unknown rivalries that you probably never even thought of until I actually pointed them out. So get ready for some intense bitter rivalries and some that you won’t care at all about. Feel free to comment on who you think the winner was in the comments.
Burger King vs…
McDonald’s…
This week’s bitter rivalry is Burger King vs. McDonald’s. As you may know, last week Burger King took out an ad in the paper calling upon McDonald’s to put their petty rivalry aside and combine Burger’s for a day (A Whopper and the Big Mac combo called the McWhopper) in the spirit of National Peace Day and sell the Burger’s for charity.
At first, it seemed Burger King had the upper hand, because what would McDonald’s do? Refuse to help? Look bad by not combing for National Peace Day? But McDonald’s responded by saying “our two brands could do something bigger to make a difference” and “between us there is simply a friendly business competition and certainly not the unequaled circumstances of the real pain and suffering of war.”
So, who wins the Bitter Battle of Burgers? Is it Burger King’s sarcastic but pretty cool idea to come together for a day and do something good together? Or McDonald’s crackback by using a more serious, “we could do something better” and “we’re just friendly business competition” thing?
Who has the better burgers? The best fries? The best drive thru? The best playland? Who has the creepiest mascot?
McDonald’s….
…or Burger King’s.
Who has the best website? Type in http://www.bitter.com to find out who stole part of my soul.
Let me know who you think wins this rivalry.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Rivalry Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
McD’s only because of the fries. *hangs head in fry-addict shame*
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Do not hang your head in shame. The fries are good on both sides. And that is a completely legit reason to judge which is better. Way deeper than my reasons.
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Hmm, it seems McDonald’s got the upper hand in this one, but by doing so, they’re also a giant party pooper. So maybe it’s a draw.
As for their garba—er, I mean food—I don’t eat at either of them. Oops. Does that make me a party pooper too?…
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Some would say McD’s got it, but others think BK might have won because of the light hearted approach they took. In the end, it just got a couple of really rich corporations in the news, which they probably are both pretty happy about.
And as far as you not eating either? I think you won that bitter battle.
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Here BK certainly make the better chips, or fries as you guys call them. Me, well I prefer the Colonel myself cos he is just finger licking good 🙂
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Yeah, their fries are better. And the colonel has some pretty good food, but lately their mascot has been pretty creepy too. (at least the press thinks so.)
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I’m a Wendy’s man, so Burger King vs McDonalds is just two one-legged men in an asskicking contest to me.
: )
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Wendy’s is my wife’s favorite too. But I prefer the much less fresh taste of BK, and the inconvenience of McD’s play center.
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Well, major points to BK for coming up with a cool and harmless idea until McDonalds crushed it with their Nicki Minaj of a comment. But to be honest, the McDonalds mascot scares the shit out of me. I hate clowns.
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I think BK won the PR thing because either way they won. If McD’s does it, it was their idea and they get more pub. If they don’t, they look like they don’t care about peace. Though McD’s tried to turn it around, they still look like they were too serious about it.
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Nice job on the blog stealing by BK, there.
And McDonald’s may be my favorite of the two to eat at, but BK won this battle.
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I know. I remember when I was first doing bitter the bitter blog and wanted to lock down all bitter websites, and I looked up and saw they had it, but just use it to forward to their site, I was pretty bitter. And BK won the PR battle.
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Here in India, McDonalds does way, way better compared to Burger King. McDonalds here is just better in general.
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In my exhaustive research, I’ve heard that internationally McD’s is king. Sounds like that is very true there in India. Though you probably have a very different menu there. Let us know what is on there…
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BEN!!! You *must* watch Demitri Martin’s new Netflix special; He has a very funny bit about the roof of his mouth, that I think you will appreciate. And, hello!
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I’m down with any comedy, but especially with comedy about the little things that drive us crazy. I’ll have to check that one out. And hi.
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I’m not big on fast food. If I do eat fast food, I usually go with Wendy’s. They are better than both Burger King and McDonald’s. And both mascots are super creepy but Burger King’s takes the cake!
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Yeah, my wife prefers Wendy’s overall too. I like the taste of Burger King better, but we end up going to McD’s the most because of the kids. Dang those kids. By the way, back in the day, I thought the King was so funny, I ended up getting the Burger King mask and wearing it at work to creep people out. It was really funny…to me.
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Omg that sounds so creepy. A Burger King mask…gives me nightmares!
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Yeah, I’m pretty sure I gave some co-workers nightmares by parading that mask around. Especially when I would hold out a burger for them to take.
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I can’t agree with you on this one. For as much as I am terrified of clowns, that ‘King’ character is enough to haunt my dreams. If I am going to eat garbage, I will eat the better tasting garbage. Since all the burgers are barely passable for actual food, we won’t go there. I like McD’s unltra saturated fat fries better, so there you go.
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I’ve always found the Burger King King as kind of funny. In fact, I actually bought that Burger King mask one year and wore it at work sometimes to creep people out. It was pretty funny. And McDonald’s has the creepy new Happy Meal boxes with big eyes that are kind of the worst too.
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You will probably be bitter disappointed to know that I rarely eat at either of those establishments but according to my family, McDonald’s gets it. Apparently it’s the fries or something. I have to say though, I’m siding with Burger King here because they actually had an idea to do something but McDonald’s idea to ‘do something bigger’ was kind of vague. I mean, bigger like what? Come on McDonald’s! Where’s the beef? Ha, ha, get it?
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McD’s usually wins the kid vote, they do with my kids too, but I do think it is more creative that Burger King tried something and McD’s just kind of cracked back with “there’s more serious stuff” blah blah. Though Burger King stole my bitter.com website so I’m pretty bitter with them about it.
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Yes, well we could probably get the Hamburglar to steal the King’s crown or something like that.
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And that would spice up the rivalry even more than a spicy McChicken.
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(Gasp) A spicy mcChicken??? Dum, dum, dum…
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It would make the burglar mouth too hot and he would run off screaming to Wendy’s house.
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The one by me has one of those soda machines where you can get any type of soda in any flavor. He can probably just put his mouth under that.
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Except they only allow people who have purchased that day to do refills or they will prosecute like they are criminals…which he is already.
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Okay, so no big deal.
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Not to him.
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I still think BK won. McD looks petty and condescending with their comments, in my mind. Those mascots are both pretty creepy. I vote McD for creepiest. RMcD has some creepy friends backing him up.
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I’m a BK guy too. I think McD’s could have lightened up a little and Burger Kings burgers are better, but my kids like McD’s so that is probably why they win (money wise). Also, BK stole my bitter.com and probably aren’t going to give it back anytime soon, so I’m bitter about that.
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Oh I’d be very bitter about that, too.
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Hopefully they return it someday since they already have all the good websites.
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