Considering all the bitterness that happened this week, there are all kinds of reasons you needed to stay home and not be here at work. You know what I’m talking about. You embarrassed the boss by doing that thing, you did that report on Word instead of Excel, and you spilled water all over your annoying co-worker(Which one? Does it matter? They are all annoying.) right in front of everyone at the company barbecue. Since you can’t miss today, you don’t have many options. So saunter in, make yourself at home, kick your feet up, grab a pillow and blanket(to make your fort with), put up a sign saying, “DO NOT DISTURB. BUSY DOING STUFF” and grab a computer, tablet or phone (and some popcorn) and watch yourself some Bitter Giftures.
Try to hide your giddiness…
…of seeing Ms. Ballerina getting burned.
On the other hand, hide…
…your gymnastic abilities.
When you have this kind of talent…
…don’t hide that swag from the world.
You’re going to want to hide this…
…but we’ll find it.
Whatever you do…
…don’t hide your love for the Scooby Snacks.
Be fierce…
…stand tall.
Run fast…
…fall hard.
Face your fears…
…and by that, I mean run from your fears.
Actually…
…just stare at them.
Remember to always fight fair…
…cause this is the internet.
But really what I’m trying to say is…
…don’t try to hide your pizza from me.
Because…
…I will find it and I will eat it.
Now that you have your pizza and you are eating it too, make sure you go into hiding so no one else will take it from you. Because there are two kinds of people in this world, I can’t stand. People that try to take my pizza, and all the other people.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH
In Bitter Hiding at the Moment Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
So basically, you don’t like anybody in this world??
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Essentially, yeah. People are kind of my downfall.
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I hear you. It’s not that the world is full of too many people, it’s just that it’s filled with too many STUPID people.
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I do work with a bunch of people like that.
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I’m always surrounded by people like that. (Sigh…)
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Yes, which is why I’m so bitter. And you should at least look into being bitter. If only just for a little bit. Just try it (says the bitter guy trying to pressure you into it).
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I’ve already lost my faith in humanity. They can’t change me. And I can’t change them unfortunately.
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See, you will make a pretty good bitter person.
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I know right!
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The one with Batman and Robin is PRICELESS! The one with the ballerina made me CRINGE! I can’t imagine how awful. So, otherwise, how’s it goin’ Ben? Wrote a post that’ll probably tickle your funny bone especially since it’s about some NOT so bright folks…check it out at: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2015/08/07/post-153-teach-me-how-to-be-that-brainless-and-still-have-a-job/ HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND! 🙂
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I kind of liked seeing that ballerina disappering into the fire, but that is because I like seeing kids suffer. Just me though. I’ll have to check out your post.
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I would say you’re a mean man, Ben, but you did read my post, so….hope you’re having a WONDERFUL afternoon…evening…whatever without an OUNCE of bitterness!
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Well, you know if my kids don’t do what I say, then they should suffer. Just sayin. I was nice enough to read your post though. Should I unread it so you think I’m still bitter?
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Nope. The bitterness comes through in your subtext, LOL. So, am I to understand the little girl whose doll went crashing into flames did something to deserve it? I think not…if she had been misbehaving, I’d think making her do chores around the house or withholding TV or computer time would be more appropriate. But, again, THANKS again for reading my blog! 🙂
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And thanks for reading mine. You should check out the video I did for an upcoming project. It’s the post I did yesterday, Bitter news from the couch.
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TOO funny! Love it…:)
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It was pretty fun to make too.
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YESSSSS! Blanket forts and pizza! May the Försterkäse be with you!!!
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Blanket forts are the best. When my kids ask about them, I’m like yes please. I’m not sure what Forsterkase is, but I assume it’s German for blanket fort.
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Poor Ms. Ballerina. She died a hero, at least.
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Though she made the kid who just got her for Christmas a little sad.
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And she made us feel a little bad for laughing at the poor little girl who felt a little sad.
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Yeah, how could she?
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Instead of the fort I actually made a castle wall out of cardboard at work once. I was the receptionist at an office and my desk was out in the open. Everyone was bothering me, so I made a wall.
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One time when my boss was out of town, I had about four reams of paper and stacked them up at my desk that blocked the view of people and honestly not only did people come by less, but me not seeing anyone else made me more productive. Shocker, I know.
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Well, at least your bitterness doesn’t keep you from making the rest of us laugh. Great GIFs. See? That should make your bitterness better.
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I can’t control the laughter, though I do my best to at least try to make you bitter. Maybe by subtly chipping away, I will find everyone’s internal bitterness that has always needed to come out.
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We all need a purpose in life. It’s great that you’ve found yours. You’re a bitter whisperer of sorts.
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The Bitter Whisperer that is kind of loud yeah.
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How did you know it was Pizza night here? No you can’t have any – it’s Mine! All Mine! 🙂
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Because every Friday is Pizza Friday for me. I’ve been doing this for 10 years at work. Not stopping until my last breath.
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Yeah it was actually ketchup I spilled on that annoying coworker at the barbecue and that annoying coworker was actually my boss.
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Bosses are the most annoying ones of all. How dare a person tell you what to do everyday. They deserved the ketchup.
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Okay, well the next time he’s trying to make me feel all bad about it so I’ll work even harder doing inane stuff, I’ll tell him that!
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Yeah, and tell him he is taking way too much time from you, when you should be reading blogs, etc.
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