The sun is 93 million miles away (at least according to the scientist Sun E. Day, who traveled from earth to the sun with a big tape measure. Though he accidentally let go at 84 million, so he had to come back and get it again. Then, he was only 1 million away and got a sunburned so he just called it an “approximate” 93 million miles.) and for being so far away, the sun can kind of be a jerk. Even at my worst I can only bother someone from about two miles away. The sun gets in people’s eyes, it burns them, it gives life to trees (who are jerks themselves.), it is way overbearing in the summer and way introverted in the winter. Basically, the Sun makes people crazy and do crazy things. Like start summer romances and drench themselves in sunscreen and wear goofy sunglasses. Here are some other crazy things the sun makes people do.
The sun…
…makes chairs unbalanced and tape appear out of nowhere.
The sun…
…causes people to lose their mind…and their gems.
The sun…
…makes people lose their balance and their dignity.
The sun…
…makes people walk backward and awkwardly all of a sudden.
The sun…
…appears and doesn’t melt the snow, but can somehow cause a ski to crack a window.
The sun…
…can make you stand and dance without noticing that everyone else isn’t standing and dancing.
The sun…
...can get you stuck in sticky situations and doors.
The sun…
…causes earthquakes, thunderstorms and blow up bed trampolines.
The sun…
…can make you do stupid things, like exercise.
The sun…
…can get your fired.
The sun…
…can cut really deep.
The sun…
…can make you a big fan.
If it wasn’t for the sun, I wouldn’t have to work. Cause like what? I’m supposed to work in the night? That’s just not natural for anyone but vampires or cops, or people that work the graveyard shift, like ghouls and zombies. It’s probably better that we just operate by the moon and just stay indoors watching TV.
ARRRRRGGGGHHHH
Bitter Suncastic Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Omg these gifs have me cracking up, especially the blow up mattress one where the boy flies into the light. My sister asked me what was so funny and I was laughing too hard to even talk. I just frantically waved my hands and pointed to my phone.
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Well good. I’m glad I could steal some gifs from the internet to make your sister think you are crazy.
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Is this the same sun that was assaulting you with Nerf missiles a few days ago? What a troublemaker! J.
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Yeah, my sun is quite the mischief maker when it comes to Nerf Guns and causing the earth to revolve around him.
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Now hang on, how can the sun be responsible for a guy sawing off the tree limb that he’s on? As the saw’s an important part of that action you have to put some blame on Ceres.
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Because it was melting his brain and causing delusion.
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Ha! The sun is up there laughing at this post.
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I hope not so much that he comes any closer and burns us.
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It’s ok Ben. There is no such thing as global warming.
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I know. Like I would ever believe Al Gore’s fictional movie.
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(Speaking for the sun): Dude, I am so sick of getting blamed for things that had nothing to do with me. It’s not my fault that I’m super hot, okay? I was born that way. I would totally back off and give you some more space, but that will just cause more issues. Remember that 2.6 million year blip when I was all depressed and went into hiding? You know, the ice, the snow, the saber-toothed tigers? Yeah, people complained about that, too. I can’t win.
So no, Ben, I won’t go away. But just for you, I’ll hide behind some clouds for a — hey wait. You live in Seattle! Geez, what do you have to complain about? You don’t even KNOW me! I hardly ever visit Seattle. Now you’re just jumping on the bandwagon. 😛
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Geez sun, you are so arrogant that you think all the planets revolve around you.
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I had no idea the sun was responsible for all the silly things I do. But at least I now have a rational explanation for my backing into the garage with the hatch up, and taking out the garage door. I was so sure my insurance rate was going to spike. Well, that will all be in the past now. Thanks Ben! :@)
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The sun is a prankster with a wicked hot temper. And kind of a narcissist. Like the whole universe revolves around it.
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I can’t help but think it must love being the center of attention.
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You know it does. It loves annoying us with too much heat, then hides away in the winter.
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What a cushy job.
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Yeah, they sun is kind of a slacker.
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You know it. 😀
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LOL! Ha! Too funny. The sun is the best excuse for everything,unless of course it is winter time in which case we can blame it all on the lack of sun.
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The sun seems to love to mess with us here in Seattle. For like years it hides in the shadows (or clouds) and never comes out for 11 months out of the year, then all of a sudden pops its head out this year and just blasts us with the same heat as the rest of the country. The sun is a bitter heat miser.
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Hey, Seattle recently got voted home of the most handsome men in the country! Now there’s something else to feel bitter about 😉
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That doesn’t really help me out. I wonder if it is because women are starting to find pale men attractive now.
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Thank you for the laugh – I needed it today! 🙂
I keep watching these clips – Seems I can never get enough of people being daft!!
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Thank goodness people are daft or I wouldn’t have all these gifs every week.
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hahaha You will Never run out of Blog Fodder! 🙂
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That is for sure. Humans have always made for a lot of bitterness.
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I always try to measure the distance between you and how far you will let yourself come to other people but you’re always batting me away. Not really sure how you came up with the whole 2 mile thing.
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I guesstimated just like Sun E. Day. Like he really measured that.
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Okay, and next time, try not to be so violent!
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I don’t try, it just happens that way.
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