Junk Mail Friday Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

This world needs less junk.  Between the junk emails, junk mail littering our mailboxes, and the junk that is wandering around on practically every website ever, a big volcano is going to erupt someday and give us all papercuts. And you know how painful they are.  I watched Hoarders last night against my will (the only way I will ever watch that show) and there are just no words to describe how bitter people make me when they seriously can’t get rid of a pillow or a piece of paper or even an old receipt for a Slurpee.  Stuff you would never need.  So maybe I have left a lot of junky posts over the years, but I’m sure the internet sweeper will soon be around to clean that up.  I may never become a hoarder of things, but I have become a bit of hoarder of words, so when you read, you probably see way too many words I should have discarded.  So I’m going to have a garage sale of words.  Feel free to give me your best offer.

Speaking of junk…

...this poor guy should have protected his.

…this poor guy should have protected his.

 

Sometimes you have to get creative…

...

…when getting rid of water bottles.

 

When huge spiders are around…

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…all of a sudden even the most important things become junk.

 

Thank goodness for gutters in the streets…

hilarious-gifs-and-a-gif-9

…to help us get rid of our kid’s useless junk forever.

 

Sometimes the sky tires of all the junk they have…

///

…so they send it to earth via gravity mail.  

 

Sometimes when Elmo has a bad day…

sdf

…has has a way of getting rid of his stress.

 

Sometimes when floors get old…

sdf

…there is just a faster way to junk them.

 

Another way of eliminating some of your excessive stress..

///

…is to give someone else some.  

 

Though it does seem excessive…

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…for this little girl to throw away such a perfectly useful seal. 

 

There’s not a whole lot of room left to throw away stuff on earth…

sdf

…but it seems like space has a lot of space. 

 

We all have need of getting rid of junk in our lives…

dsf

…for this guy it was a few springs and some bone fragments.

 

And for some….

...we just need to take the whole silo down.

…we just need to take the whole silo down.

 

Regardless of who you are, there is some junk you need to get rid of.  For some, it is your hoarding of products.  For others, it is the excessive brain cells that need to be taken out.  For me, it is all that excessive energy that needs to be put on lock.  So don’t expect me to make any sudden movements this weekend.  And by that I mean, I will be on the couch if you need me. But don’t need me.

ARRRGGGHHHH

Bitter Junky Ben

 

35 thoughts on “Junk Mail Friday Giftures”

  2. If anyone is throwing out excessive brain cells, I could use a few. Trade you for excessive cat hair (cats not included). I might be persuaded to throw in some junk from under the bathroom sink as a bonus.

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    • Yeah, the earth needs to be blown up so we can get rid of these jerks you’ve met lately. Just send a few cool bloggers up there and we’re good. As long as the internet was up so we didn’t have to speak to each in person.

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    • Stupid Comcast. They are junk from top to bottom. Because clearly they don’t care. Their customer service is the worst and once they get their claws in you, they won’t ever let you cancel. But the worst of all, is they won’t play those gifs faster.

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  8. That show makes me crazy [crazier?]. Both knowing that people are hoarders like that + the way the series manipulates these hoarding people. It’s just all so wrong. And icky.

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    • Yes, it is insane to me that they take these people who are clearly mentally ill that actually need counselling more than anything and force them to get rid of stuff that you and I know they need to get rid of but clearly their mind isn’t right enough to get them to. It is truly a horrifically insane thing to watch.

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