I’ve got an idea, use that mouth that you mother gave you for eating and not talking near me.
We all seem to have one of those people in our lives that just can’t be quiet. That just can’t stand the silence. That have to verbalize every thought they have ever had ever. No matter how stupid. The co-worker next door neighbor that has to express every feeling and every emotion after every call no matter how sarcastically you’ve told them how little you care. You might even fake a full on nap just to ignore them in the hopes that they will stop. There is a reason they call it noise pollution, because so little of those words are necessary or good for you, just like pollution.
Please, tell me more about whatever boring story you just can’t stop telling me about.
They tell you everything they did that weekend and talk about every mundane detail of their horribly boring lives. And when there is a silent moment at work when you actually feel like working, they have to say something just because the deafening sound of silence is to them what noise is to the rest of us. There is one upside though. I’m writing all these bitter things about him right now as he is uselessly jawing about nothing as we speak. So this is my bitter passive aggressive revenge. His name is Craig and his phone number is 1-800-867-5309. Please call him at home on the weekend and ask his mom if he can come over to play, or prank him with many fresh fish deliveries or at least a lot of fish tacos. Be creative. Use your favorite pranks or come up with a new one. Either way, do this for all the introverts or bitter people out there who just want some freaking silence at work, SO THEY CAN WRITE A FREAKING BLOG IN PEACE WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED BY NEIGHBORS AND WORK!
ARRRRRGGGHHHH
Bitter Quiet Interruptions Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Ha, I can’t even tell you how much I relate to this post. If you don’t have anything interesting to say, don’t say anything at all.
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Yeah, I wish people would just stop talking for talking sake. I just need to hear the words that are necessary, which let’s be honest, aren’t many.
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Ugh thanks for RUINING EVERYTHING, CRAIG.
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Yeah, if he could just shut up that would be great.
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HAHAHAHHAHAHA
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Isn’t that Jenny’s number?
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It does appear that it is. Perhaps we should give her a call for old time’s sake.
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We could, but I don’t want to make her mine. I like boys. And you’re married. Perhaps its better that we call pizza delivery.
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Oh I forgot that song had other words. I was just going to prank call her.
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Well, okay, go ahead. Make sure you use a burn phone and get rid of it across town when you’re done.
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Actually I just used my work phone so they can pin it on my co-worker.
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I actually clicked on the number. I don’t even know what happened but it popped up some weird window, not doubt some sort of attempt for you to send a virus into my computer. For that, I will tell you all about my weekend….so I woke up on Saturday, at about 6:15…no, no it was 6:30…wait a minute…I’m pretty sure it was 6:15…and I was really thirsty so…
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I’m shocked you didn’t call the number. I should have put some number that would lead you to buying my bitter gear.
Please tell me more about your weekend. I just can’t wait to hear more about it.
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So then I was thinking I should brush my teeth because I like to brush my teeth right after I wake up but then I was thinking that i should really brush my teeth after i eat breakfast cause they say that’s better dental hygiene so I was thinking I should wait for my kids to wake up and we should all eat breakfast and then brush our teeth….
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Wait you just stopped! What happened after the brushing of the teeth. Please tell me in more detail!
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Only if you’re good.
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Am I ever good? Just giving you an opportunity to spill it.
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I know that phone number.
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Yeah, sounds like maybe someone sang about it before.
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OH. MY. GAWSH. I used to be married to one of these people. I literally can’t deal with that much talking. It is exhausting. And harrible. And unbearable. You have my condolences…
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I don’t know how you managed. I need some time to just not talk and my wife understands that. Probably because she needs the same. Especially when I get home and our son has been talking at her all day.
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Okay.
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Don’t tell me you are the talker in your group.
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Yep.
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Stop talking so much.
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Its been a problem for as long as I can remember.
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I’ve always been really good at not talking. I prefer to type my words over saying them.
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I’ve noticed that. :O)
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The leftovers seem even more bitter. I guess sitting in the fridge for a few days does that to blog posts.
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Yep when you let some thoughts sit around in the refrigerator, sometimes they become more bitter over time.
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How funny – I have a family member (won’t name names) who talks and talks and talks. But it is always the same thing – how many car accidents they saw on the way to work, the stupid things the people at their work said, how they told someone off, why does the lawn look so brown (uhh – no water) how our dog is such a butthole – blah, blah, blah. Never, ever is quiet and then when I do try to say something, they interrupt me halfway through. So annoying!!!!
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I named names here, but luckily it was fake. I didn’t want to get sued by him especially when he is sitting right next to me. Also the number was fake, but it would be funny to see what that number lead someone to. I also have a family member that is a talker but didn’t want to throw him under the bus.
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