I’m getting full pay for three days to do nothing. I’m gonna do something with these three days. I’m gonna read a magazine from beginning to end in that order. I’m gonna learn Bolf. Bitter golf. Golf with Bitterness. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the bitter fruits and let the juices drip down my chin. I proclaim this the Independence Day of Bitter Ben!
I declare my Independence from…
…having to stand.
I declare this glasses Independence from…
…from this doorway.
I declare this girls heart’s Independence from…
…from her chest.
I declare my Independence from…
…riding horses forward like everyone else.
I declare my Independence from…
…strutting like a normal soldier in a video game.
I declare my Independence from…
….having to be in the right place at the right time.
I declare my Independence from…
…having to exert myself at all.
I declare my Independence from…
…having to celebrate with that jerk.
I declare my Independence from…
…the escalator.
I declare this confetti’s Independence from…
…this bottle where it is free to hit anyone in the face.
I declare my Independence from…
…taking any bull crap from you.
I declare my Independence from…
…having to do any work today.
I also declare my independence from doing anything else today, so bitter day to you.
ARRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Independence Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Well, heck, don’t we all get paid for doing nothing several days in a row? We might be trying to get things done, and they don’t happen because it’s impossible to do things anymore, but the result is the same, only with more tension.
LikeLike
That sounds great. Except we need to do more than just several days. We need several decades.
LikeLike
A happy independent Fourth, Ben! :O)
LikeLike
I wasn’t like those football players that made their fingers independent from their hands. Now that would be a good way to lose money.
LikeLike
Yep. I think that was a costly, and careless mistake. I’m happy to here you were more sensible about your Fourth. :O)
LikeLike
I’m kind of shocked that I didn’t do something stupid like that for the fourth. I’m guessing it’s because my daughter was near by.
LikeLike
Yep, I know this about girls. They tend to keep us men from doing the stupid things we do to hurt ourselves. Um… well at least they try to, in spite of all our best (uh) worst efforts. 😀
LikeLike
I know. Sometimes they need to let that stupid go so we can learn ourselves how to be better at being stupid.
LikeLike
I know, practice does make stupid. If only girls understood us better.
LikeLike
It’s not like we are that hard to understand. Food, sports, video games…not that complicated.
LikeLike
Ever since that episode of Seinfeld, I’ve always called ‘disc golfing’ Frolf, and someone always corrects me. “Frolf,” I say, “Frisbee golf.” The reply: “No, we don’t use Frisbees. We use discs. It’s called disc golf.”
I am bitter about this.
LikeLike
I should just go around using that word in regular conversations and not explaining what it is.
LikeLike
I think the girl who is lying down while vacuuming is into something… 😀
LikeLike
Now if you could just do all that from you bed…
LikeLike
I declare my independence from…having to comment on this dumb blog! So there ! Take that Bitter Ben!!
LikeLike
I see how you did such a great job of not commenting. You are so not co-dependent at all.
LikeLike
I know! I feel much better about myself.
LikeLike
You should feel so bitter and proud about yourself.
LikeLike
I always do.
LikeLike
It’s quite a feat you accomplished there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds a perfect way to be Independent! Enjoy – Bitterly of course 🙂
LikeLike
During the summer of Bitter Ben I will declare myself bitterdependent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll have to remember to not read this in the library. They frown on loud outbursts of laughter.
LikeLike
I’ll have to remember not to read these in the library. They frown on loud outbursts of laughter.
LikeLike
Yeah, I hate when libraries are so mean when you just want to laugh or cry or be bitter out loud there.
LikeLike