This morning I kicked a wooden step stool, because I haven’t perfected my night vision. I came kicking and screaming into the world because I was cold and because my legs weren’t working right yet. There is a app named KIK, which is a messenger tool. So basically it helps you get in touch with other people by text. Unfortunately, there is another app that is already on your phone and you are already using, called texting, so yes that is useful. Judo, and Karate using kicking, but you aren’t supposed to use it unless you are being attacked or you are in a Mortal Kombat tournament. Soccer only allows kicking. The funny part about soccer is that some people get so skilled at kicking a ball around (see below)
but in a game you’re not even allowed to use it to score a goal (because no one ever scores a goal in a soccer game). People use the work kicking to tell people to get out. Like that time I went to visit my alma mater the summer after my graduation, and got banned for life for pulling my pants down at a dance (even though I had shorts on underneath). Some people and their rules.
Like this “professional” soccer player…
…who only had one job.
Or this hockey player…
…who got kicked, but couldn’t stick.
Or this professional slider, who…
…started off good, but couldn’t kick it at the end.
Or this professional hugger who found…
…an entertaining way(for us) to get kicked out of the game.
Or Erin Andrews who found a way…
…to get her kicks on a cold day.
Or this other hockey player…
…finding a way to kick off his first concussion.
Or the universes way of…
…kicking this guy to the curb.
And this guy pulling a Paul Blart…
…before Paul Blart even did it.
These guys not wearing their seatbelts…
…when the space ship is moving almost got kicked.
This girl kicked off the summer…
…by taking a quick dip.
In what is now my all time favorite gif….
…in which I couldn’t stop getting a kick of yesterday.
Remember that one time I did those gifs…
…and you used to get a kick out of them?
I’m going to go kick off my Friday, by not doing some work and then later, I think I’m going to ignore work, and then in the afternoon, I’m just going to leave work. As the Beastie Boys once said, “Kick it!” So, any plans for you today?
ARRRRRGGGHHH
Bitter Kicker Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
When I try to kick a ball it looks like the “professional’s” attempt. It is cold here this morning (early winter setting in) your gifs making me feel even colder as I wrap my duvet tighter around me. The first gif took a really long time to load but worth scrolling back up for again. Great painful selection, as usual.
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I forget that just as we are approaching the good weather here, you are starting to get the crappy stuff. I’m glad I could get you more in the mood for winter. It makes for more bitter people I think.
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To be fair, isn’t it still a hug if it’s delivered at high speed from an unexpected direction and bashes your head into the ground?
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If that’s the case I would like to give Kanye a big hug right now.
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I was kickin it at work today when my favorite daughter surprised me with balloons and chocolate covered strawberries. Nope, no bitterness over this way THIS time. ; )
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You know who will be bitter though. The other daughter you have that you don’t consider your favorite. Hopefully she doesn’t see your comment…HAHA
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Which is exactly why I blog anonymously! Inot as dumb as my hair might imply! LOL!
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Yeah, good thing other daughter doesn’t read your blog, huh?
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None of our kids or my husband read it. I can’t tell you how freeing that is.
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That is actually a really nice luxury. Do you tell them that they can’t or do they just not know about it?
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They don’t know about it.
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Wow, that is crazy. Good for you for keeping it from them.
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I can’t believe nobody said they got a kick out of this post. A little bitter that I have to be the one to say it.
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Probably because no one did get a kick out of it. You were just doing it to make sure the pun got out there. So thanks!
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I do live for puns. But I also got a kick out of the post (now that song about “I Get a Kick Out of You” is playing in my head)
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As long as you don’t get a punch out of it.
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Re: “This morning I kicked a wooden step stool,”
Oh, I though you were going to go on about how you were sick of that beach bully that took your girlfriend and how you were finally going to take that “Charles Atlas” course.
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Nope I was just going to go on about how much I hate stepping on things like step stools and Legos and kids that fall asleep on the floor.
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Tell me Wise and Bitter Blogger: Is it true that Bitterness, like Revenge, is a dish best served cold? Or do you prefer to microwave it for 45 to 60 seconds?
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Bitterness is best served luke warm. Just warm enough to make you regret warming it up, but just cold enough that you should have warmed it up more. Right in the bitter middle.
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You get 1 million bitter bonus points for using the video of Erin Andrews…because the Packers are playing. I am working on my day off, doing laundry, vacuuming, shopping, etc. I plan to have a bitter beer later to celebrate my efforts.
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I have been looking for some extra bitter bonus points lately, so I’m glad for the extra. Always glad to include some Erin Andrews.
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I seem to remember something about you getting kicked by a ten year old on a playground. You know, I started reading this in my car on my iPhone and the gifs weren’t giffing. So much better!
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Your Iphone must have a Bitter Ben setting. Like if you are not a fan of the gifs they just slow down really fast. Or it could just be your phone is terrible. One of the two.
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Or all of the above.
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Yeah, it’s probably both.
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More apps that involve us getting a hold of each other….because that is such an issue we need to solve!
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Yeah, I need apps that allow me to ignore people. That would be great.
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It’s funny, one of my co-workers was just asking me why he was getting a phone call via the messenger app and not just a regular phone call. Not sure I grasp that either. I once used a messaging app to talk to someone who was out of the country which made sense, but not sure what the point is outside of that. Also…beastie boys rock. So yeah.
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I’m not real fond of the phone call app thing. Why would I use my phone for talking on it. That’s what texting is for. And yeah, the Beasties Boy rock.
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You wake up late for school and you don’t wanna go! As soon as you said kick it, I started singing that song haha
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I have a lot of favorite Beastie Boy songs, but my favorite one is one that most people aren’t familiar with. Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun. “I’m a Die Harder like my kid, Bruce Williiiiis.” Classic.
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Haha!! Let’s kick this week in the nvts!
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That kind of make me squeemish when you say it that way.
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My bad. 😀
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My bitter. 😐
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Have a less bitter TGIF Bitter Ben….that kicking the stool must have been bitterly painful… poor you. Take care of the stubbed toes.
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It was so painful and almost woke the house. But no less painful than stepping on a Lego or a Nerf gun that I’m always stepping on.
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Ha ha…yesss Lego hurts. Ouch!! I used to step on my brother’s Lego pieces!!
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Lego’s are the worst. I’m trying to discourage my son from Legos.
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Good luck trying! It is the rage now even for adults 😉
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