A long time ago, in a blog post galaxy not so far away, these posts had a dream. When they were just tiny little blog posts laying in their preview post cribs, looking up at their much older posted parents, they looked at their mobile filled with big words like superstar, Great Post! and This Post Changed my Life! Their post parents hoped and dreamed for them to be a post in a famous blog someday. They worked with them on their blog homework, got them involved in all kinds of extra curricular blog activities, even got them involved in sports so they might make it as an ESPN blog post someday.
They went to Harvard Law Blog School, and even got to the top of Blog class. And then something snapped. And crackled. And popped. They decided that they just couldn’t take the pressure anymore. They started resenting their blog parents for pushing and pushing them into being a great blog post. They started resenting all the stupid things they were forced into doing. They were bitter about traffic, or school, or trees or even all the times in sports when they lost by one point. They resented their parents because they didn’t want to be in a law blog, but in a humor blog, and they missed out on all those times when their friend wanted to go to an amusement park blog, and they had to stay home and work on their homework blog.
So they quit the Harvard Law blog and rebelled against their parents. They looked for a place they could go where they could show all their resentment towards their parents. And they they saw it. Ben’s Bitter Blog. They read the about page, and they knew. This was the place they could go to spite their parents. There are hundreds of blog posts out there with stories just like this. Actually there are exactly 500 of them. 500 blog posts that just couldn’t take the pressure of their blog lives, that just couldn’t take the lives of their famous parent blogs, or their helicopter parent blogs, or their just a little too happy lives blogs.
These are the 500(so far) blog posts I call the Unfortunate 500. As of today, there have been 500 Unfortunate Bitter Blog posts. Today we celebrate the Bitter Unfortunate 500. We hope that there are more unfortunate blog posts out there that will rebel against their blog parents and be a part of the next 500 bitter posts. We are a place for them to come to show all their pent up bitterness. Come and join the Bitter Crowd, blog posts. Show your blog parents that you aren’t gonna take it anymore.
Shout it out! AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH
500 Bitter Posts Ben
Bitter congrats on your bitter achievement of 500 posts Bitter Ben!! Yoo hoo!!!😊
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It was pretty exhausting. I’m probably just going to lay down.
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🙂
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Way to go Your Bitterness!
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As I sit on my bitter throne…actually my son is sitting on me as his throne.
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Who knew bitterness could carry you so far?
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Certainly not me, that was for sure.
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Congrats!! Or maybe I should offer condolences? Being bitter can be confusing…
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You can offer condolensces or you can offer congrats. Either one will cause me bitterness. And yeah it is pretty confusing. Just know that you can do whatever and I will sort out the confusion.
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Wow man, 500 posts. That’s quite a feat! But just think of all the good work you could have done with your time instead of propagating bitterness. Think of all that I could have done instead of reading about your bitterness… I could have been a champ! I could have been a contender! Instead of a bitterling, which is what I am.
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I know. Think of all the things I could have done. All kinds of things I could have done more with my time. Play more video games, lay on more couches, watch more TV.
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Wahoo!
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I feel so bad for all the people that had to endure all 500 of them.
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Congratulations on 500 bitter posts. I think.
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Yeah it was such a pain for people. Sorry to all the readers, and all the posts that ended up here, because of their parents expectations.
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Perhaps the parents are bitter from disappointed expectations. You see, your influence is exponential (and here’s something new for me: the word is not expotential. I may have to write a blog post about that) (bitterly, of course)
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I know my kid blogs better grow up to be rich, and take care of me, or I will be disappointed. It just gets passed down from generation to generation.
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You will be bitterly disappointed, I’m afraid.
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And you know I used to that stuff.
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Congratulations!
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Thanks Kate. Sorry you had to be thrown under the bus so many of those 500 posts.
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Congrats on your bitter unfortunate 500 blog posts (Jeez, that was a mouthful!) 😀
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I know. All those poor posts that got kicked out of their parent’s blogs. Too bad they had to end up here.
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Congrtualtions on the milestone….7,200 followers isn’t all that bad either.
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Yeah, I just wish all 7200 of them would write and respond. Then I’d be a semi-mild internet sensation.
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Congrats on the Bitter 500!
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All those bitter teenage posts finally have a place to go when their post parents kick them off their home blogs.
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Ben Bitter Blog….where posts go to die.
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Where teenage posts go to rebel.
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Where intelligent readers go to rot their brains.
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And formerly bright futured, high potentialed people and blog posts go to lose all motivation and potential.
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Very cool, sounded there was some post depression in there. 🙂
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Yeah there was some depressed posts on here. But even more depressed parent posts.
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I understand, still an interesting read. Thanks for sharing.
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Preciate it. And thanks for reading.
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Woe, woe, bitter, better wormwoods; what tragedy, what angst, what staggering gloom & resentment; onward rebellious and gloating bitter blog posts – mentor your younger brothers and sisters, mentor your dog’s post – come one, come all and receive resolution and grim satisfaction at Bitter Ben’s Blog!!!!!
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Are you trying to write a soliloqy on my blog? You know that kind of thing doesn’t fly on this blog. We cater to the lowest common denominator here, or whatever that math term means.
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woohoo! 500. Congrats!
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I feel really bad for all those parents who lost their rebellious posts to my blog. Oh well, I guess if the parents were more supportive.
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