I see you none of you missed me on Wednesday. No one sent a get well soon card, a stuffed crust pepperoni, or a thermometer. Remember when I stayed up all night when your blog wasn’t feeling well and your computer had some sort of virus and you wanted me to watch it? Yeah, well I guess it doesn’t go both ways. Must be nice when you aren’t feeling well and someone acknowledges you. Don’t worry though, I’m not bitter. So yeah, not that you care, but I decided to take a sick day on Wednesday, not because I felt like staying home and being lazy (I would have preferred to be at work on Wednesday, because of other people’s kids), or because I was planning a Bitter Ben’s Day Off (Like Ferris Bueller’s but way more bitter) but because I was actually sick. The worst part of all, was that I had to take a sick day for actually being sick. Now I’m down to only 586 hours that I can use to guilt my co-workers into doing stuff for me. What makes me even more bitter is that all this real sickness prevented me from getting “fake” sick yesterday. You know, what us lazy people call a “long weekend”. Talk about a waste. In the meantime, I’m gonna leave these wasted gifs right here for everyone else that wasted a sick day, or forgot to send a stuffed crust.
Look at all the wasted…
…energy Star Wars People spend on their swords when they could have just used Jedi Mind tricks.
What a perfectly good waste…
…of a human this bike just threw off.
Talk about a waste…
…there was a perfectly good bowl of Cat Chow at home.
You wanna know what isn’t a waste?
…This gif.
Most Jedi swords are a waste…
…unless you include a corkscrew.
Besides Kayne singing upside down on the floor…
….biggest waste of the 40th Birthday.
Just wanted to remind my blog friends in the east coast and the Midwest to remember that you had this constantly this winter…
…while we had none.
I mean, I might as well have been…
…getting dogpiled this winter as warm as it was here.
But I’m sure you’re not mad...
…or vengeful.
I assume you aren’t going to tell me to have a nice trip..
…and see me in the fall….
Or get jealous…
…of my pool.
That’s good. So I won’t need to worry…
…about you killing me in my sleep, right? Cause that would just be a waste.
Speaking of waste, I’m glad I could do that to your time this morning. If there is any other way I can waste your time, please…hesitate to ask. There is definitely stupid questions and way stupider answers so feel free to not ask any questions, no matter how smart you think they are. And have a bitter weekend wasting away your life until you have to come right back here on Monday and read another bitter post. Unless, I’m sick in which you won’t care.
Make me your second place! (or first loser)
Remember to visit the Weblog Award Page and help me meet my goal of second place finish in the 2015 Weblog of the Year. A VOTE FOR ME WILL BE A WASTED VOTE FOR FIRST PLACE.
ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH
Bitter Waste of Time Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Aww!! Get well soon….a big Garfield Hug for you and lagsana with meatballs😊
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If they combine lasagna and pizza together I might have a food overload, though it will probably cure all disease too.
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I keep imagining grumpy cat and an old butcher gurgling with bitterness when I read this post. I have a half eaten cold pizza here if you still want it.
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That is actually just what I was going for so apparently I nailed it.
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Jeez. By the time I finally pulled my head out and read this, you could have been DEAD! I’m a horrible blog friend….
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Well, I hope you are happy, because I am dead. It been kind of painful having to haunt you.
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Do you usually post on Wednesdays? 🙂
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I post on Wednesdays about half the time. My usual schedule is Either Monday/Wed or Tues/Thurs. and then Friday.
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Feeling bitter guilt here.
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Guilt lets you know that you are feeling bitterness.
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Finally…I was beginning to worry. :o)
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You mean you didn’t receive my get well card? Really?
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Yeah, but the mail is really slow here.
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Sorry, I wanted the stuffed crust pepperoni for myself.
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Well I just saw the reason for me to start eating the crust for Mr. David Robinson is in a commercial for them now. Even more reason for me to insist that I need a stuffed crust pepperoni right now.
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I didn’t know you were sick! I texted you like a day or two before that to ask if you’d gotten sick, didn’t I? Or was that last week? I don’t even know. Either way, I’m sorry you were sick. 😦
*fingers crossed* for the blog award for you! 🙂
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I know. Somehow I escaped the rest of the family getting sick, but then a week and a half later, I get like a 24 hour flu. It might have been food poisoning too. But it’s over now and I back to 50%.
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Oh no! Being real sick over fake sick is the worst!! Hope you feel better for reals and can take a fake sick day to make up for the real sick one soon!
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What makes me the most bitter isn’t the work I have to do to make up for it, but the blogging I got behind on. So bitter!
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That gif of the snow with that big cozy bed looks amazing, and I’d give anything to have that right now.
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I guess you and I are in one of the few states that didn’t get any of that stuff this winter. I guess it was meant to make other people bitter.
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Nope, in fact, we are going through a miserable heat wave this weekend and it’s supposed to be 90 degrees today. While my friends back home probably hate me, I’m jealous they got a shit load of snow days 😦
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Grass is always bitterer on the other side huh?
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Absolutely.
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I haven’t felt all that hot this week either… and no word from you. So there. I guess that makes us even.
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Now, I’m incredibly bitter because I made you some soup and had it Fedexed overnight. I can’t believe they didn’t deliver nice and super hot for you. I’m gonna call and complain bitterly.
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That’s today’s second disappointment. I had the first, like every day, when I looked in the mirror and discovered that I still didn’t look like Cary Grant at all.
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It’s always good to start your disappointments off early so they snowball as opposed to getting them on sporadically throughout the day.
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Precisely!
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I’m glad your bitt…uh better. Yeah, that’s right. I’m glad you’re better Ben. 🙂
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That’s a lot of ter’s to keep track of. And I wouldn’t say I’m better, just at work instead of home. None of that makes me feel any better.
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I so understand! And I don’t even have kids at home any more, unless you count JD. Oh yeah, JD counts!
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Who is JD again? And yeah, of course, I would count him as a kid.
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JD = John Doe, the hubby of Janey Doe. 🙂
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Just wanted to make sure you were talking about your dog. I think your JD might take offense. Being called a kid, now that is something different.
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Man, ain’t that just the JUITTTTH? Sick days are wasted on the sick… I hope you are feeling better now. Or worse. I’m good either way. Thanks for wasting my time today, though. It was worth it for the Swiss army light saber moment…
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Well it was my first in like 8 years, and it just happened to be the same day as my kids short day, and my son had a friend over, we had two other kids we were “watching for a friend” and our normal kid that we watch, so yeah it was completely wasted on me.
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Gahaha! (I just cackled, actually, just picturing the scene!) So much for rest and relaxation, huh? Boo! Just think of all the Judge Judy you could have been watching…
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You would think I would like Judge Judy, but not really because her bitterness is making tons of money, while my bitterness is costing me money.
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I was gonna get you soup but I thought you would just end up bringing it back to the store, seeing as it was still in the can and all and you would have to make it yourself, so see how I saved you the trouble?
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Yes, you are quite thoughtful to not bring it to me. But to have a pizza delivered, not only would you not have to go to the store, but also you wouldn’t have to worry about me returning it.
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Okay, the next pizza you eat will be from me.
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You mean the one I have at 11:00? I’ll take a pepperoni please.
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Okay, it may be a little late…
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You still have like 35 minutes until 11:00 here. Good thing you are good at space travel.
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Um…right.
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I guess it’s late.
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