A Bitter Three Year Old

/ bensbitterblog
You know which song you does this to you.

You know which song you does this to you.

You know how when you hear a terrible song, and you just can’t seem to get it out of your head?  Or a jingle from a stupid local car commercial and you want to punch the commercial in the face? You know that three year old kid you see in the store that just won’t stop being annoying, listen to his mom or dad, or sit still in their cart? Well, my blog is now that annoying three year old.  On March 8, 2012 this blog was born and it came crying, screaming and ignored into the world.

Your annoyingly bitter 3 year old blog everyone.

Your annoyingly bitter 3 year old blog, everyone.

Even on its infant first day, this blog was trying to annoy.  Three years later it is still that annoying terrible, yet catchy song in your head that you just want to leave your brain.  It is still the local jingle that you want to punch in the blogs face.  Today is its three year old anniversary, and it is still just as immature, self-centered and irritating. It screams and whines just like a three year old.  To paraphrase what that weird guy Mcbeth Shakespeare guy said once, this blog is told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, but ultimately signifying nothing.

Like that Macbeth Shakespeare guy said, This blog signifies nothing.

Like that Macbeth Shakespeare guy said, This blog is full of sound and fury, but signifies nothing.

On this day where most of us in the US have to set our clock forward, and lose an hour that we will never get back, I have written this blog post, which will probably take you an hour to read and one hour you will never get back, we look back on a blog which whines about stuff that signifies nothing.

To celebrate, you should go out and do something productive like eat a pizza, sit on a couch, don’t open your eyes, go out and don’t make a change in the world.  Be the same that you always didn’t want to be.  Follow your lazy bones.  Use this day to reflect on how you will do nothing better in the next year.  Use this day as an anti-resolution day.  Don’t have cake, don’t move forward, don’t invite your loved ones over to celebrate, don’t send them a Facebook congrats, celebratory text, or call.  Signify nothing.  Be a terrible song that can’t get out of your friends heads.  Act like a three year old.

WWWWWWAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

Bitter 3 year old Blog Ben

153 thoughts on “A Bitter Three Year Old”

  7. Aw, get over yourself. It didn’t take me an hour to read this and you aren’t annoying anyone. I suppose it will increase your bitterness if I tell you that I and others enjoy your blog. Actually, I just scrolled up and looked up at the number of followers you have and now I am bitter. Obviously LOTS of people enjoy your blog! Damn! Maybe I should stop trying to be so damn fun.

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  13. LOL Happy Anniversary or Birthday?? hmm not sure, but anyway glad that you are here to inject the bitterness and humor into what would have been a productive and joyous day! LOL 🙂 🙂 I am eating popcorn, handfuls at a time, crumbs are everywhere. #amcelebrating 🙂

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        • Freshly Pressed is an interesting thing. Besides the fact that it very hard to get noticed in general with so many millions of blogs on WordPress, there are a few things you can do to help. First, you want to get known by the staff of people that choose it by being on Freshly Pressed a lot. Liking, commenting and following people that are on there really helps. When I first got pressed, he said he noticed me from commenting on other blogs there. Second, there is a way that you can nominate other blogs that you feel are Freshly Pressed material, and with that, they know who you are and might dig around a little and see what your’s is like. If you try to get to know the editors, you might find that they have particular tastes. Most of them like really serious, very topical posts that matter that very day or the very recent days. When Ebola was a big deal last year I noticed a ton of those getting Pressed. And if you notice, they almost always are serious subjects on there. The two times I got pressed were by the same guy, so he possibly appreciated humor a little more than most. I don’t know if he’s around anymore, but his name is Ben too. So if you see him around pressed you might want to find his blog and comment on it. They also seem to press you more when they know you’ve been pressed once already. (I know that’s kind of a experience vs. schooling circle). When it comes to getting posts chosen, it will likely not be one that you were expecting. Both of the ones I got were ones I did at the spur of the moment and I would say, not anywhere near my favorite or best work. So again, the best way is to continually look at others Freshly Pressed posts and see what they write about, the style they have, and find something unique you do and of course get to know others on Fresh Pressed.

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        • Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the advice!! It seems a bit obvious to me now, making a presence on Fresh Press. I will def explore this. To be Fresh Press is like seeing a unicorn – and now I am on the prowl! Thank you again, I appreciate your response and excellent advice !! Bitter Ben – you’re not so bitter after all!! lol

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        • No trouble. I find that it was kind of a double edged sword. It brought all kinds of people to my site for a little while, but it also brought a bunch of people that I would never see again. What I found is that the people that follow your site and comment will be there well before and after and they will be there because they like your blog and not because you were Fresh Press. Have fun on your pursuit!

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  14. Congrats! Three year olds have the most fun. 🙂 They don’t believe in following any social order or making anyone else happy but themselves. But they say the funniest things and make us all smile with their strange perceptions of the world. Very fitting for how your bitterness makes us smile!

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  15. I can only wish you a bitter blogversary, Ben… the bitterest. I’m letting you know I intend to observe it by not doing anything remotely productive, interesting or thought provoking for the remainder of the day. Go ahead. Take my hour. I didn’t want it anyway… 🙂 xx Mother Hen

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