Every afternoon, I leave my crazy job for a little bit and go to the break room. I grab my smart phone and turn on the big screen TV and I watch that game show called Let’s Make a Deal. You know, the one where people dress up like deranged lunatics on Halloween so they get a minor chance to get a minor prize. Winning a prize like a car is about the same chance as winning the lottery, but with the additional burden of having to pay tax on the car. Obviously, I prefer when people get Zonks, the life equivalent of getting to stay in a nice hotel, only to be kicked out in the middle of the night. Somehow, despite the fact that I enjoy seeing people get too greedy and then lose it all on a Zonk, there is constant screaming on this show. Any time somebody mentions money, or car or who’s my next contestant, the crowd goes into a frenzy like they inherited Bill Gates massive fortune and they will be swimming in his money vault right now. I know that in order to make it on the show they are told they have to act that way, but I can’t stand screaming people. And yet, here I am, everyday watching this crap. I must be a glutton for punishment. Today, I think we should view some other bitter people like me that are gluttons for punishment. (By the way, this post is dedicated to Jamie of FitsofWit. She thinks every week, I put gifs on here that don’t show the conclusion. Here you Jamie. All of them show the disaster happening. And I’m not talking about this blog disaster.)
This guy wanted to video bomb so bad…
…that he hit the wall.
According to the Chinese Lunar Calendar this is the year of the sheep…
…not the Ram.
This guy is starting his Mardi Gras off in style…
…and on fire.
This guy needs to make like a tree…
…and get out of here.
This guy is taking a crash course…
…in Karma.
This guy is just…
…a pain in the glass.
This girl has a…
…pretty explosive fastball.
This is what happens when you…
…party like a Hulk star.
Guess after this stunt…
…he got fired.
This is why…
…I don’t exercise.
This one is a…
…catastrophe.
This is why…
…I have avoidance issues.
Speaking of being a glutton for punishment, a fellow blogger of ours, Samantha over at Flowers and Wanderlust wanted to interview me for some reason, and did. If you want to support her in her glutton for punishmentness, you can go over to her blog and check it out, and if you are a glutton for punishment and want to read about what I am like in real life, check out her interview with me. I apologize for this in advance. Not really. Now get out here and go get gluttonous for punishment this weekend.
ARRRRRGGGHHHH
Bitter Glutton Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Reblogged this on experitokimazi and commented:
Hi nice day
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Will do, sir.
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That is a lot of Hulks to have at one gathering. And what is the collective term for Hulks, anyway? A bulk? A smash?
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Ah, this post is the best.
Your interview was a lot of fun.
Thanks again for doing it and I’m glad I know these things now.
Instead of being just another blogger, you have a face, a name, and a friend! Thank you for mentioning it, also.
And here’s to future bitterness! Aye!
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Thanks, Sami. I hopefully sent a few people over to your blog and they got to see how you could bring out so much from someone. Thanks again for the interview!
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Yes, your interview definitely got a lot views. They loved that. They just couldn’t wait to read about the man behind the bitterness. 🙂 thank you again.
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What’s funny is my sister read it and she was telling me that it was so good that she wanted to meet me. In other words, you presented me as someone she would actually like as opposed to my obnoxious self in real life. HAHA!
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This made me laugh pretty hard. That’s awesome. I’m glad I am able to do that! It’s another reason I love doing these things.
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Yeah, I told my sister she would be lucky to be able to meet me.
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Eight things……….real quick:
#1: I need to know if it’s the old school Let’s Make A Deal – or the new one …
#2: I have fallen over in the middle of a dance party – I wish someone made a GIF out of it for later reference.
#4: I wish I had the blond girls chest – non-lesbiany speaking.
#5: That ram… had good intentions & later still looked pretty badass.
#6: Attending Mardi Gras is on my bucket list & I hope I see someone playing with fire.
#7: I know know my next party theme : 80’s Hulk.
#8: I love watching people bif it on treadmills.
All of the above are true.
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#1 Yes, the new one with Wayne Brady. I like him and the show and the Zonks, but the people and the screaming, ugggh.
#2 I wish you would have too. I would have featured it on my blog and you would have been famous for falling.
#4 I wish I had the figure of the guy that falls behind him. I didn’t see that he had a gut, so…
#5 The ram wasn’t taking crap from anyone, and he gives me and the rest of the Aries a good name. I wish I had his tenaciousness.
#6 I hope you do go to Mardi Gras some year, and I hope you get a bunch of gifs that will make you famous.
#7 I hope I get an invitation to your 80’s Hulk Party, and I will be inviting you to our Napoleon Dynamite party.
#8 People falling in any capacity is awesome to watch.
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Is it weird that all I could think of to start for the last one was, that damned person walking on the street made the car swerve and brake, thus losing control and smashing the pole. GAWD….I would be SOOOO bitter if I was the driver!
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I agree. People walking around in streets should be a little more aware of accidents they are causing. I know people get the right of way and all that, and that driver was going a little fast, but that girl shouldn’t be casually walking around like that.
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People don’t get the right of way. They get the right of way at designated pedestrian crossings, definitely not when walking parallel to the sidewalk. Lucky it was an alert enough driver to attempt avoiding them imo
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Though if you think about it, bikers are even more annoying because they think the are allowed to be on the same road with cars, without having to go as fast or follow the same rules as us (ie running stoplights, stop signs).
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agreed
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Biker’s should just stick to the bike path.
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That last gif is an amazing close escape.
Cool interview post.
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Thanks. I think Samantha was really good at figuring out the right questions and conducting a really good interview. Props to her for making me interesting at all.
Yeah, that girl in the gif should be thanking her lucky stars she didn’t go flying.
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Ben all your Gif’s were bitterly brutal. But boy did that pitcher blow them away with that blazing fastball.
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Yeah, it’s pretty crazy that she was such a fireballer! I specialize in brutal gifs. It helps people feel bitter on Fridays when they need a little help being more bitter.
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Yep we all need bitter assistance on Friday’s, otherwise we ‘d all walk around with smiles on our faces.
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And we can’t have that. That’s why my local pizza man accidentally slips anchovies on my almost perfect pepperoni pizza.
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Ooooooooh….so now you’re a celebrity getting interviewed and stuff! Stop the presses! 😉
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Yep, JG. Don’t be jealous that people find my blog fascinating and me worthy of an interview. Actually, she was looking for common people just like me and finding a way to make them interesting. It’s what her blog does, so you know, your interesting life wouldn’t be of interest to her probably.
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HEY, BEN! How’s it goin’? Love the gif’s this week – especially the one on the treadmill. Feel free to check out my post this week @ http://tenaciousbitch.com/2015/02/19/post-146-perhaps-i-shall-execute-it-in-blood/ which I’m sure you’ll feel is cause to be bitter. Instead, I felt it gave me license to bitch and drink, so after I scribbled out a post upon these hallowed walls, I had 1.5 glasses of Merlot last night! 🙂 Hope all is AWESOME in your world…and I hate Let’s Make a Deal. I can’t believe you watch that! But whatever floats your bitter boat…:)
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What up, TB! It’s been too long! I’m still blogging just as much as usual. Thanks for checking it out and I will get over to yours soon enough. Good to see you back. What have you been up to? Still entering your screenplays in contests?
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Hey, Ben! Good to hear from you. No, I haven’t been working on any screenplays. I’ve been working on the manuscripts for 3 different books, almost finished with one. Unfortunately, I’m still getting used to working FT again after working at home for 9 years, and it’s difficult to squeeze some blogging time into my schedule these days, but I’m going to TRY to login to WP more often…:)
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Any luck getting them published? I keep thinking I want to get published, but I’m not getting anything done.
By the way, the key to getting things done while working full time is to work on stuff while at work! It’s worked for my blog all these years.
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I would LOVE to work on my blog at work, but, alas, access is blocked. And if I was on WordPress on my phone, and they caught me, I’d be fired INSTANTLY. No, I haven’t gotten anything published yet because I haven’t finished any of the books yet. But I’ll let you know when I finally get a final draft of the one I’m currently trying to finish! 🙂
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Now that stinks. Maybe you need to reconsider working there. It just seems so harsh that you can’t work on your blog.
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You’re right. I should look into that panhandling occupation I mentioned instead. Then, I can look at/read/peruse anything I want on my phone or at my desk – except wait, might have a phone if I start begging on the corner, LOL.
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Yeah, panhandling sounds like a lot of work for me, all the sitting upright and such, but if it let’s you use your phone then you would at least have that perk.
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Sitting up? Panhandling in this particular spot close to my house would require standing. Otherwise, motorists who were exiting the freeway might mow you down, LOL…:)
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Standing? Nah. If you are a panhandler, all rules are off. Just because people are supposed to walk in the aisles of Target, doesn’t mean I’m not sitting down when I feel tired.
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LOL! That would make an interesting photo…you lounging about Target, sitting on your behind in Aisle 23 – or whatever. I just spent the last hour exercising, and I don’t feel tired, surprisingly – though I am sitting down! Hope you had a good weekend…:)
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Next time I go to Target, I take a photo of me sitting down. I’ll try to work it into a post somehow.
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AWESOME! Looking forward to it! 🙂
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It should be good. Now I just need a reason to go to Target. HMMM, new video game. Great idea.
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I am SOOOOO bitter! Samantha’s blog is one of those that flags our office IT alert system and unless I want Big Brother watching everything I do online I can’t go there. Of course they probably already ARE watching everything, but so far no one’s said anything.
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How is it that mine makes it through, but poor Samantha’s doesn’t go through. What is wrong with your IT department? Anyways, it is well worth the look, so if you can read it after work, check it out. Samantha is a great interviewer.
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Actually…yours doesn’t either. But if I click on the post title in my Reader it will open in a “sub” window (?) and I can read it there and even comment. But since I don’t follow Samantha I can’t open her posts that way. But I’ll check it out on the train on the way home. Smart Phone to the rescue!
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Oh, the old sub-window thing. I wonder if they did that so you could read posts that way at work. Anyways, yeah the smart phones saves the day, but they don’t always show my gifs. But who cares, you’re there for the interview!
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Funny stuff and a great interview. I’m glad I have that perspective against your writing here. When you can create a persona that is different in many ways from who you are, you know you’re a good writer. Enjoyed it very much and will look up the blogs you suggested reading. Thank you.
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Yeah, every once in a while I have to do something like this to remind me that I am not Bitter Ben…all the time anyways.
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So mad at myself that I’m reading this on my phone and the gifs won’t load. I’m such a failure UGH
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Nope, I’m the failure for not making them work on your phone. I’m calling Verizon, Sprint, T-mobile and AT&T right now and telling them to get the network working pronto! And also I’m gonna demand you get more data for free every month. Unacceptable!
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I only like screaming people when it involves me screaming at the TV (usually while watching a sporting event…)
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I like screaming at the TV too especially when watching sports, but my wife isn’t too keen about me screaming at the TV. So I get gently upset at reality TV when I get the chance.
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Yes… Reality TV. That’s something else that makes me froth at the mouth and yell loudly at the TV. Luckily my husband either takes the remote from me when I stop on one of the shows, or if he’s “driving,” he avoids stopping on those channels all together.
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I think it’s probably a good thing that my wife always drives when we are awake. Otherwise there would be a bitter wife and we know that isn’t a good thing.
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Is Chuck Norris standing on that cat’s tail? The experiment gif shows us that fire travels super fast. Faster than the stupid lightrail that makes a clattering bitter noise in the wee hours of the night, using fuel to transfer all one person to his destination.
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What it also tells us is that fire is awesome when it happens to other people.
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But Chuck Norris > fire.
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Chuck Norris > everything.
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I feel like I should pledge allegiance or something now.
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Bow down, salute, whatever it takes to show your appreciation to the Man.
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Thanks for the bittergifs this Friday morning. I needed those today.
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I think everyone needs them to get by on a day like today.
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How did that girl in the last gift just act so “whatever” about it?
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I guess she was trying to text someone back or checking to see if you got any new likes on Instagram.
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The red car almost made it through. The idiot should have sped up near the end.
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He was so close to making it…and yet so far. He would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for the stinking kids.
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The fingers in the tree one was painful to watch!
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I’m pretty sure that is fake, but I don’t know how they pulled it off. And gotta be honest, I think the chemistry teacher on fire was probably pretty painful too.
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I think you are probably right. There was some pretty clever visual trickery involved in the tree gif, but the chemistry teacher one may have been for reals! Probably, actually WAS painful!
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Someday, I will make a cool gif. It’s just a matter of time and having someone with a camera around.
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I sooo can’t wait to see that!
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It’s gonna be an epic gif! One time I was a really bad parent and was recording my son showing me for the first time he could ride a bike and he fell down and was crying. I, of course, turned it off and ran to his aid, but I told him I was going to put it on YouTube and he kept telling me I couldn’t. Then Karma stepped in and somehow all my videos/pictures got erased.
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Glutton for punishment. Now I know why I read your blog and put up with your annoying gifs.
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At least there was a satisfying annoying conclusion to all of them. But yes, you are a glutton for punishment for reading this crap and putting up with those gifs.
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I should get some sort of medal but I probably won’t.
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I’ve got some medal for you. It is chunk of medal I found in the back yard.
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Wow, you’re too kind. You would really get up and go into your back yard for me??
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I’ve never been accused of being kind. Just ask my kids who I am yelling at right now to go to bed. Or is it whom?
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It’s never whom!
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Did you notice that you were the first person ever on my blog whom didn’t have to go through the approval process to get their comment on? Aren’t you the privileged one.
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If I said I didn’t notice it, would you be bitter?
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I’m bitter about it regardless. And I decided that I’m going to put it back on. Cause I run this place!
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I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO HATE THIS, but I READ the interview and you are ADORABLE when you smile! And, trust me, I *know* adorable.
(Sorry for the total bitterness KILL)
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Oh man, total bitterkill. I should never have done that!!! ARRRRGGGHH!
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I am very satisfied with this post that shows all the gif follow-thrus. Especially the guy that jumps through the glass. I watched it 5 times and giggled with delight.
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I’m glad I could make your day. Now get over your writer’s block and post something on your blog!!!!
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