Bitter Bandwagon Ben

/ bensbitterblog

 

W

Welcome to the land of depression and bitterness!

You might know that I live in Seattle.  Now you might be thinking I’m gonna humblebrag about the fact that the Seattle Seahawks are in the Super Bowl for the second year in a row, and how I’ve been the biggest fan for life.  And you’d be wrong.  About five years ago, Seattle was one of the most pathetic, bitter sports town you could ever imagine.  The Mariner’s were about as bad as you could imagine, the Seahawks sucked, the Washington Huskies had a season where they went 0-12 and didn’t fire the coach until after the season.  Worst of all, they lost the Seattle Supersonics completely by way of subterfuge, lying, backstabbing and a bunch of politicians that tried save them way too late.  This town, who drinks coffee for a living, and could get umbrellas permanently attached to their heads, was in the deepest part of sports depression.  They were even comparing us to Cleveland in terms of sports.  Then, about three years ago, the Seahawks were good and we gained hundreds of thousands of “die hard” fans for lyfe, yo!

Just joking.  There are a few die hard fans that liked them when they sucked, but for the most part, the Bandwagon started when the Seahawks became good.  Just like when the Mariner’s won 116 games back in 2001.  Guess what though? In the years since, when they started losing more and more, the Bandwagoners left to leach onto whatever winning team was around.  In sports, if you do that you are a pariah to the “loyal” sportsfan.  But guess what, we are all Bandwagoners in some way.  And if you claim you aren’t, then you also believe that Brady when he said, “I feel like I’ve always played within the rules.”  None of us “has always played within the rules.”  If you have, I have some Super Bowl tickets for sale.  I am a bandwagoner in just about every way.  Don’t believe me? Let me just sight a few examples.

The key to being the most popular house in the land to birds.

The key to being the most popular house in the land to birds.

My wife got a bell shaped bird feeder and put it up outside our kitchen window. We observed out the window.  All of a sudden, our backyard was the most popular yard in the land.  Birds from all over were coming to visit OUR house. They were lining up in the tree to see how cool we were.  To be our “loyal” friends, to dine in our fine restaurant of seeds where they didn’t have to fend for themselves.  All of a sudden, they were fighting over us, wanting Bitter Ben Jersey’s and hats, and calendars and clocks.  But the bell shaped glob of seeds became cone shaped, and eventually became no shape.  Just a stick, dry and invisible and completely non existent. Wanna guess what happened to “loyal” Bitter Ben fans? I can’t tell you, because I haven’t seen any of them since.

I’ve been a Spurs fan since the late 80’s.  You’re probably going to say, “Wow! That guy is super loyal and a die hard fan!” Wellll, not so fast there slick.  First of all, the first season I started following them, David Robinson was a rookie and probably the best franchise player to come to a team since Michael Jordan.  Since then, the Spurs have won 47 games(other than in strike years) in every season but one.  That would be the 1996-97 season where they lost David Robinson for the season and 3 other starters for most of the season.  And because of that, they got another franchise guy named Tim Duncan.  And guess what season I barely watched basketball at all? Yep. Even though I am a fan, when they faltered, so did I.  And the season they go into the tank again.  Probably the season I buy the least amount of merchandise.

NIKE for Lyfe...until now.

NIKE for Lyfe…until now.

How brand loyal are you? Love your Nike’s? I bet you do.  Until you get one dud pair that you broke your foot in. All of a sudden Reebok’s aren’t the worst idea in the world.  Any huge Nintendo fans out there?  I was…for years and years.  Until I recognized a pattern of them putting out the same three games with the same three characters over and over again and I kept wanting games on those “other” consoles.

Apple products and you will never be separated right? Until your laptop breaks down and your Ipod stops working and your Time Machine stops sending you to the future.  Favorite actor of all time? Well Jim Carrey of course.  Until he starts making dud after dud.  Well, aaaalrighty then.  I think I’m finding a new favorite.

This blog or any blog for that matter isn’t immune either.  I notice when my stuff sucks, the audience goes elsewhere.  And honestly, I don’t blame them.  I might tire of my stuff after a while and go see the latest and greatest new blog that looks fancier and writes with more peanuts (or is it panache. I can’t remember?) It’s what we do.  We are all bandwagoners.  If you think you aren’t, just wait until your “favorite” thing, disappoints you.  It may not be on everything, but it will be something.

So here’s a hint.  If this blog sucks, go find a new one.  If all the teams in your city are terrible, move to a different city.  If lifelong fans start making fun of you for being a bandwagon fan, start a bitter argument with them.  Tell them that they weren’t exactly yelling it up when their team was 0-16.  Tell them that when the bird food was gone, so were they.  Tell them that they left their company when it was going in the tank.  Tell them that maybe Jack was loyal to his girlfriend of a few days on the Titanic, but he ended up freezing while she came out looking like a Rose with a freaking blue diamond.

Call me a bandwagoner.  I don’t care.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter

56 thoughts on “Bitter Bandwagon Ben”

  1. Only wusses ride the bandwagon. Real bands march right down on the asphalt. No wagon. No bus. Just tarmac and 76 trombones. And good shoes.

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  2. I watched it happen in a season this year. I went to Ole Miss and have been a big fan always…and it was amazing to watch the rise to fame and bitter fall from grace all in about 8 weeks. Ouch…

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  3. This is one reason I fell in love with Pittsburgh when I was there. They are Steelers fans. They just are. They can’t stop being Steelers fans any more than your backyard birds can stop being birds. I’m not a sports fan at all, but I had to appreciate that enthusiasm. I came from Dallas, where the bandwagon is the only form of transportation to any sporting event (if they’re winning), so the Steelers way of life was almost shocking to me. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.

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  4. Okay, I have been here (from San Diego) since Jan 12th and I’ve maybe had two days of rain??? I came here for some weather! I’m here till Feb 11. Bring it on. Anyhow, love this post and love what you did with your “I’m king of the world” ending!

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    • So no weather here? We’ve had fog, I know and I’ve definitely seen some sprinkles. Sorry there hasn’t been a Snowpacolypse to complain about. I will trying my hardest (which is barely trying at all) to get some “weather” going for you. Can we do an exchange program where I go to San Diego?

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  6. I’m a 49er fan and I’m bitter. However I have been concerned of late about staying a loyal Niner backer. Maybe I am on the bandwagon. My wife has asked me, “Why remain loyal to a team of millionaires that could care less who I am, that am nothing more than a meal ticket to them.” Of course she’s a Green Bay Packer backer, and has her own reason for being bitter, as you well know.

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    • Yeah, I can see how this season could have been a bitter season. I watched the Thanksgiving Seahawks/49ers game and that seemed to be the beginning of the end for this season anyways. With a new coach you might have a bitter season next year.

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  9. Fellow Seattler here, or maybe that should be Seattleite? I’m way bitter about not knowing for sure which is correct. I’m not a fan of the Seahawks, but I AM a fan of the Seahawks fans. I like how the community is so supportive, both individually and corporately – love all the 12 signs in the businesses and high rise windows. But I imagine if we started losing the bandwagoners would start being grumpy and I’d have no one to be a fan of. What a bitter pill that would be!

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    • I think we are Seattleites because it sounds like satellites and we are all in our own hippy towns that are unique in their own ways. I’m kind of the same way, where I’m not a fan of the Seahawks,but I get caught up in the hype of this town getting excited. I really like Kam cause he usually has one or two big hits on people in a game.

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  10. I originally come from the Boston area back in the day when bemoaning how much ALL the Boston teams sucked (except the Bruins – you could get your head smashed in for that one) was as Bostonian as baked beans, parking tickets and hating the Cheers Bar – never ask someone from Boston if they have been to that stupid fucking bar. Where were we? Ah yes…bandwagons. I am pretty new to your blog and you haven’t scared me off yet. No promises though…

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  11. Ah love this Ben! New Englander right here, so I’ll be planting a seat in a Glendale bar rooting for the Patriots, but love your honesty in this one. I’m in no way a total freaking fan because well, football is not my fave. I’ve only recently gotten into sports because my boyfriend makes me watch every Boston sporting event on television. But you know some of the “bandwagon fans” when they start bashing the fans of the opposing team. I have to remind them that I’m not the one playing out in the field, so they need to take a chill pill.

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    • If you think about it, most people are disloyal in some way, and it’s kind of a negative thing in most people’s eyes. But if you think about it, if you are being loyal to a company even when they aren’t paying you what you are worth or treating you like crap (both of which mine are doing) you should leave right? The company isn’t really loyal to you right? And if you love a team (like the Pats or Hawks) do they really love you back? Are they paying for your school or raising your kids or fighting a bully for you? Nope, just taking your money for a poorly made jersey or charging $20 for a hot dog. So why swear your loyalty to them right?

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      • Absolutely! I couldn’t tell you the amount of Facebook statuses I read that said, “So when does hockey start?” when the Pats were doing poorly at the beginning of the season. Every team has a disloyal fan base in some way.

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        • Yeah, it was the same around here when the Seahawks started at 3-3 and everyone was thinking they weren’t going anywhere. And that last five minutes of the game I turned it off and I wasn’t the only one thinking they weren’t going back to the Super Bowl. By the way, around you getting a snowstorm there right now? You should totally take advantage if you have electricity and do some blogging.

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  12. See Ben, I was totally on board with this post until you went and got all bitter on Jack and Rose. Why’d you have to go there?
    On another note, have you written any posts about Seattle during the grunge years? Real World was there too. And Bella and Edward are close, aren’t they? Seattle is cool. Best bandwagon town ever. Not sure why you are so bitter… that’s a question for the ages, I guess.

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    • Just a last minute addition customized to make you more bitter. I’m glad to see it worked. I would probably write about Seattle in its grunge years but I wasn’t here then. I got here just as the internet boom was happening, and then I was here to see the bottom fall out of it. I should have bought some random sight and sold for a billion dollars to Microsoft or something. Then I would be the controller of weather and buyer of basketball teams.
      Bella and Edward are far enough away that I will never go where they live. Why am I bitter? Well, I’ve done about 450 some posts and counting. Read all those and you will find out.

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  15. Oh Apple, I think you’re the best!
    Wait… Mac book, why is the mouse locked?
    Nevermind, I give up on this high-techy stuff
    Hey HP, have you got any laptops?

    Hey boyfriend, I truly adore you!
    Oh, you find yourself now unemployed?
    Uh… I’m busy tonight – I hope that’s alright
    Oooh, hottie, will you be my new boy?

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    • Very clever poem, Ms. Aurora. I think most people jump ship at the slightest signs with most things. It is only in the few things we remain loyal to that we point out how loyal we are. I’ve thought a lot about loyalty and have to say that I jump ship quite a bit and when things get going bad I only cling to very few things (family, God, etc.)

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      • I’m still an Astros fan, so clearly I’m not a bandwagoner in the sports department, but… there are other areas of my life where I could definitely do better.

        Like, for instance, I am really glad that even when I am faithless, “He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” No bandwagoning from the Big Guy upstairs. Whew!

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        • Wow, you still like the Astros? You are definitely a fan. But I would imagine you are buying less Astros gear in these lean years than you would be if they were winning. That’s just human nature. God on the other hand, you know He will always reward loyalty.

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  18. I would jump on the bandwagon for that bell-shaped bird seed thing, but I haven’t seen them anywhere! I am bitter about that, and I’m far too bitter to be any kind of sports fan! I do watch the World Cup football matches, but as England are so crap, we always lose and I become even more bitter.

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