DO NOT READ THIS POST! It is terribly under enthusiastic and in honor of it being Friday and the first world tragedy that happened to me this week, I’m going to go ahead and put in a minimal effort today. For those of you who are regulars to BBB, you are used to this effort. But if you happen to be wandering around WordPress, with absolutely nothing better to do and you happened to mistakenly click on this blog, I don’t apologize in advance. Bitterness happens on the reg around here and half-heartedly doing things is an even more common occurrence. You might not like it, but too bad. Get used to disappointment because it happens in life all the time. This blog disappointing you shouldn’t be any different. So here are some half-hearted efforts for you.
I wish I had more Bounce….
I wish I could tell you I’m not gonna slack today…
I wish I could tell you I wasn’t going to fall down on my job…
You probably hope that I got ready for the day…
You are probably hoping I step it up today…
You’re probably hoping I’ll fetch something for you..
You probably think I’m going to be walking a lot today…
You are thinking I gonna be using my hands for stuff…
Maybe you think I’m gonna help out today..
You’re probably dreaming that I’m gonna do some studying today…
Good luck trying to get to start the car today…
I do
LikeLike
I almost didn’t made it past the guy hanging on. Thanks for waking me up.
LikeLike
He better hope he has some strong arms or that he didn’t work out the night before.
LikeLike
Ummm.. well I hafta be honest I was NOT dreaming you’d be studying today. And who needs hands when feet are so versatile? 🙂 Happy Monday Ben!
LikeLike
The only studying I ever succeeded at was studying pizza ingredients.
LikeLike
You know, that Bounce picture has just made me wonder whether Joy detergent is still around. Wikipedia seems to think it is, although I don’t remember seeing it in decades, which is probably why we don’t spend so much time smiling anymore.
LikeLike
I wonder if I’ve ever gained anything from the Gain products except a huge bill.
LikeLike
Love when it’s confirmed that I’m not the only lazy person around.
LikeLike
Not even close! I am so lazy, I get my kids to get stuff from the fridge for me. And my lazy feet are on a lazy boy(named after me)right now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oy, so you made up “Giftures?!” Ever since following you, I’ve been throwing it around in conversation glibly and wondering why people look at me so strange. Well, stranger than usual. Anyhow, guess what? I got so sick of sunshine (and lack of winter) I came to your state and am in Bellevue for a whole month! So when is it gonna rain?
LikeLike
Holy Crap, you’re here for a month? What for? I’ve got a lot of questions for you! I used to work in Bellevue!
LikeLike
Unfortunately you can’t fail at failure BB! This one was no worse than any of your others. And I mean that in the most bitterest way 🙂
LikeLike
I’ve had failures much more spectacular.
LikeLike
You’ve just described my day.
LikeLike
A half hearted day for me is about twice what I normally do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where do I the jeans and suspenders on the Japanese back up dancers? Those are 80’s bitter.
LikeLike
Well, if you wait around until October 2015, a guy named Marty McFly and Doc Brown will be visiting with a Deloreon that will be able to travel back to 1985. If you can find them, you may be able to convince them to bring back some of the suspenders and jeans for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent. You know, they’re making those self-tying shoes marty wore in the second movie this year. You should get a pair– they’d allow you just one more little laziness. However, tying your shoes would be something you could no longer be bitter about. Unless you wear old man velcro shoes, then you’re be all taken care of already.
LikeLike
I keep hoping they will make hovershoes so I can eliminate the whole walking thing and become like those people on Wall-e.
LikeLike
I’d sign that petition.
LikeLike
I’ll talk to Doc Brown and see if he can start the petition. (I’m too lazy.)
LikeLike
Too lazy even to write to your senator? Why don’t you send a letter from both of us. Mention jet packs too, I was promised jet packs in the 21st century.
LikeLike
We are talking about me right? Yes, of course I’m too lazy to write my senator. That would take away from my valuable not doing anything time. Don’t they have jetpacks? If you’re talking about personal jetpacks, then yeah they need to get a move on.
LikeLike
Well I’m bitter because I don’t even know what ‘giftures’ means!
LikeLike
It’s my made up word that is a combination of gifs (those moving pictures) and pictures. Kind of an unnecessary word, now that I think of it. Kind of like my blog.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha Ha! Well it makes sense now….At least you are not a dunce (like me)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh believe me…I’m a dunce. My head is almost permenantly cone shaped.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You fail. I found this profoundly entertaining 😏
LikeLike
I can’t even suceed at failing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice try, Bitter Boy. I see effort in this blog and all of its video clips and they are slightly above average in the humor department. You care.
LikeLike
I juussst can’t.
LikeLiked by 1 person
pathetic attempt at bitterness.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m pathetic at everything I’m attempting to do today.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Since it’s Friday, it’s allowed.
LikeLike
Unfortunately, I am pathetic every day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Since you’ve admitted this it’s official…Everyone is pathetic every day. So, I guess you’re in good company.
LikeLike
It is definitely official. Can I be more pathetic so I don’t have to be like everyone else?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely! But I feel the need to tell you that you’ll never achieve the level of pathetic that I have reached. No one can ever reach this level and survive without proper pharmaceutical intervention.
LikeLike
Well, just so you know I finish in second a lot, which is a bitter person’s worst nightmare. I guess I have a lot of nightmares. And daymares for that matter.
LikeLiked by 1 person