DO NOT READ THIS POST! It is terribly under enthusiastic and in honor of it being Friday and the first world tragedy that happened to me this week, I’m going to go ahead and put in a minimal effort today. For those of you who are regulars to BBB, you are used to this effort. But if you happen to be wandering around WordPress, with absolutely nothing better to do and you happened to mistakenly click on this blog, I don’t apologize in advance. Bitterness happens on the reg around here and half-heartedly doing things is an even more common occurrence. You might not like it, but too bad. Get used to disappointment because it happens in life all the time. This blog disappointing you shouldn’t be any different. So here are some half-hearted efforts for you.
I wish I had more Bounce….
…no I don’t.
I wish I could tell you I’m not gonna slack today…
…but I am.
I wish I could tell you I wasn’t going to fall down on my job…
but I’m falling down right now.
You probably hope that I got ready for the day…
…can’t really promise that.
You are probably hoping I step it up today…
…but I will probably run out screaming sometime today(or at least walk out kinda bored).
You’re probably hoping I’ll fetch something for you..
..but I’ll probably just be sitting on the pier.
You probably think I’m going to be walking a lot today…
…aaaannnd you would be wrong.
You are thinking I gonna be using my hands for stuff…
…Burn!
Maybe you think I’m gonna help out today..
…nah. I think I’ll pass.
You’re probably dreaming that I’m gonna do some studying today…
…perhaps….not.
Good luck trying to get to start the car today…
…you’re not so bright are you…
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I do
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I almost didn’t made it past the guy hanging on. Thanks for waking me up.
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He better hope he has some strong arms or that he didn’t work out the night before.
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Ummm.. well I hafta be honest I was NOT dreaming you’d be studying today. And who needs hands when feet are so versatile? 🙂 Happy Monday Ben!
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The only studying I ever succeeded at was studying pizza ingredients.
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You know, that Bounce picture has just made me wonder whether Joy detergent is still around. Wikipedia seems to think it is, although I don’t remember seeing it in decades, which is probably why we don’t spend so much time smiling anymore.
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I wonder if I’ve ever gained anything from the Gain products except a huge bill.
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Love when it’s confirmed that I’m not the only lazy person around.
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Not even close! I am so lazy, I get my kids to get stuff from the fridge for me. And my lazy feet are on a lazy boy(named after me)right now.
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Oy, so you made up “Giftures?!” Ever since following you, I’ve been throwing it around in conversation glibly and wondering why people look at me so strange. Well, stranger than usual. Anyhow, guess what? I got so sick of sunshine (and lack of winter) I came to your state and am in Bellevue for a whole month! So when is it gonna rain?
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Holy Crap, you’re here for a month? What for? I’ve got a lot of questions for you! I used to work in Bellevue!
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Unfortunately you can’t fail at failure BB! This one was no worse than any of your others. And I mean that in the most bitterest way 🙂
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I’ve had failures much more spectacular.
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You’ve just described my day.
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A half hearted day for me is about twice what I normally do.
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Where do I the jeans and suspenders on the Japanese back up dancers? Those are 80’s bitter.
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Well, if you wait around until October 2015, a guy named Marty McFly and Doc Brown will be visiting with a Deloreon that will be able to travel back to 1985. If you can find them, you may be able to convince them to bring back some of the suspenders and jeans for you.
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Excellent. You know, they’re making those self-tying shoes marty wore in the second movie this year. You should get a pair– they’d allow you just one more little laziness. However, tying your shoes would be something you could no longer be bitter about. Unless you wear old man velcro shoes, then you’re be all taken care of already.
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I keep hoping they will make hovershoes so I can eliminate the whole walking thing and become like those people on Wall-e.
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I’d sign that petition.
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I’ll talk to Doc Brown and see if he can start the petition. (I’m too lazy.)
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Too lazy even to write to your senator? Why don’t you send a letter from both of us. Mention jet packs too, I was promised jet packs in the 21st century.
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We are talking about me right? Yes, of course I’m too lazy to write my senator. That would take away from my valuable not doing anything time. Don’t they have jetpacks? If you’re talking about personal jetpacks, then yeah they need to get a move on.
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Well I’m bitter because I don’t even know what ‘giftures’ means!
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It’s my made up word that is a combination of gifs (those moving pictures) and pictures. Kind of an unnecessary word, now that I think of it. Kind of like my blog.
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Ha Ha! Well it makes sense now….At least you are not a dunce (like me)!
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Oh believe me…I’m a dunce. My head is almost permenantly cone shaped.
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You fail. I found this profoundly entertaining 😏
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I can’t even suceed at failing.
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Nice try, Bitter Boy. I see effort in this blog and all of its video clips and they are slightly above average in the humor department. You care.
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I juussst can’t.
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pathetic attempt at bitterness.
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I’m pathetic at everything I’m attempting to do today.
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Since it’s Friday, it’s allowed.
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Unfortunately, I am pathetic every day.
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Since you’ve admitted this it’s official…Everyone is pathetic every day. So, I guess you’re in good company.
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It is definitely official. Can I be more pathetic so I don’t have to be like everyone else?
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Absolutely! But I feel the need to tell you that you’ll never achieve the level of pathetic that I have reached. No one can ever reach this level and survive without proper pharmaceutical intervention.
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Well, just so you know I finish in second a lot, which is a bitter person’s worst nightmare. I guess I have a lot of nightmares. And daymares for that matter.
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