I’ve got great ambitions for bitterness. As an emotion, it has been underrated for quite some time. By quite some time, I mean forever. On the emotional rollercoaster, bitterness is waiting in a huge line to get on the coaster, while happiness, anger and jealousy are having fun taking the hairpin curves, loop de loops and daring dip dives. No wonder bitterness is so bitter.
The key to bitterness is having really high expectations and not meeting them or having low expectations and not even meeting those. For instance, I expect to win the lottery every day, regardless if I ever buy a ticket or not. I expect to become an action hero, whether I work out at all and eat pizza a lot or not. I expect to get second place in every contest whether I enter into it or not. I’ve made a legacy of finishing in second place or worse. It’s what I do. So I’ve decided to enter the annual bloggy awards against billions of other blogs and I need your help. What I need your help with is nominating or voting for me with the following link.
This will give you a chance to expand my bitterness worldwide. It will give you a chance to part of something smaller. You can help me reach the heights of second place in the humor blog category. So do this complicated thing of voting for two really funny blogs, then you can throw my blog in there, just as a joke to the category (see, then you become humorous). Then for even a bigger practical joke, you can slide me into the last category of Blog of the Year. Can you imagine all the faces of the award giver outers if they ever had to announce that this blog got second place in Blog of the Year? Can you imagine the bitter looks on their faces? So do it for bitterness, who has waited in line for way to long to get on the emotional rollercoaster. But mostly, do it so I can imagine the bitter look on my face when I lose yet again, despite the fact that I didn’t deserve.
Become part of my campaign to become number 2! Because two is such a lonely number, especially around Valentine’s Day right?
No thank you for your support.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Pingback: Bitter Blogger of the Year | Ben's Bitter Blog
You’ve been nominated! I wanted to nominate you for the best health and wellness blog too. Here’s to spreading bitterness all around the world!
Also, you said number 2. Tee hee.
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Yes, my proper couch sitting and pizza eating techniques are pillars of the blog community. I don’t know how they could stay healthy without my blog. And yes, I’m glad someone realized I said number two. I figured most people would, but you’re the only smart one that said anything.
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I’m voting for you and myself 🙂 My optimism is a nice foil to your bitter.
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We will be great rivals when it comes to winning. Actually, you will probably win and I will get second place. Then I will be bitter!
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Lol, I doubt I will win but that’s ok too. I like to aim low, like a day I don’t get puke on me is a win.
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You must work in a hospital or have kids if avoiding puke is a goal. Or have a weak stomach.
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Anything for bitter Ben. What if you win, though? Will you be able to go on if the Bloggies thaw your bitter blog heart?
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Then I will find something to be bitter about like the prize money or lack of publicity or the gift bags that aren’t Oscar like in their austentatiousness.
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you have (under)inspired me to vote for you but not really. Just think about doing it and then forget to. But I am rooting for you! Dammit. My optimism kicked in and I actually voted for you. Don’t disappoint me. Or do. It’s a win/win
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See how I just make people so bitter about this thing? It’s kind of like voting for a political candidate or taking a test. You know you have to do it, you just want to get it over with.
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Well if you win second bitterness humour blog, then I’ll be happy for you and if I’m happy for you then I’m not bitter. So, what’s a person to do?
Voting 😉
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Be Bitter that I didn’t win first place.
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Okay but what if you do?
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Then I’ll be bitter that so many new people that I don’t like are coming to my blog. There’s always something Gibby!
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Well we’re all set then.. 😉
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I would nominate you for best question answerer, but I don’t have any more votes.
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Pft now I’m bitter
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That is what we are all trying to get to right?
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Yes and you’ve been very helpful
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How dare you accuse me of being helpful! Take it back!
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Well did I make you bitter in accusing you of it?
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Of course! No accusing me of stuff!
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Don’t you want to be bitter?
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Or course.
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Well my work is done then
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Go take a nap and have some pizza then.
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Okay!
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You have been nominated, but I also had to nominate myself even though I’m bitter because I’ll be the only one nominating me which I guess is extremely pathetic in its own way. – I hope you finish #2 in all the categories that I nominated you for. May you be bitterly impressed with the outcome.
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I’m just glad they let you nominate yourself. I should have tried to get entered for the best Irish blog.
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I thought about nominating you for the best Australian blog, but I’m a pathetic follower and only nominated you for the things to which I thought your blog was able to represent. — Food, Sports and Poetry.
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Yes, I’m an expert in bitter food, bitter sports, and not poetry.
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I really wanted to make you bitter and not vote but I figured what would be the fun of that? So I actually voted and it was a bitter and painful experience being that I almost nominated you for best New Zealand and Australian blog. Then I couldn’t finish the process until I entered two other bloggers who were a lot more worthy than you, and also had to enter my name and email which I think makes me eligible for consideration on voting on the whole shebang, which is something I really don’t want to do!! Oy!! I need to lay down!! Someone get me a Xanax!
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Now I’ve made you bitter too, because you had to do so much work and get frustrated. Good thing you were able to take some Xanax. I was hoping you would have voted for me on the New Zealand one because when I got second place on that one, I would have had to make a new accent and about page so they would think I was from there.
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Yes, that would have been great! And you definitely would have got number 2 on that one because it would have just been between you and that other Australian/New Zealand blogger that I like so much.
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And you would have been number 1 New Zealander along with Amazing Race’s Phil and Lord of the Ring’s Peter Jackson.
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Wow, that’s awesome man. That means a lot coming from you. No, really.
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The downside is that you are probably not a New Zealander, so you would probably be disqualified.
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I could move.
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I’m guessing you probably wouldn’t mind moving to New Zealand, especially during the winter.
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I think I’ll nominate you for best education weblog. You’re teaching bitterness, after all.
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But then you would have to nominate other education blogs and that is a stretch. And yeah, I guess if you want to throw me on the education one, then I would have other things to be bitter about.
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I’m not sure what to do here….to ensure the bitterness continues, shouldn’t we totally ignore this request?
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What you should do is vote and be frustrated that it was really hard to do and become bitter and then get me just enough votes to not take me anywhere and get me bitter.
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That actually makes sense…and I’ll be bitter for not thinking of it in the first place.
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Annnnd that would be the first time I made any sense.
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