Though I am tall(er than most ants), this week was short, because I took Monday and Tuesday off not only from work but also from blogging. The thing about short weeks is that they make the days you actually work last even longer. Every hour is so magnified that each second lasts an hour, every hour lasts a day and every day lasts a week. It’s a bittescientific fact. Hypothesize all you want, what I say to you here is an indesputable bittefact. Just like this week being short, your expectations of me will always come up short. I know people expect a lot out of me(Why…I will never know), but let’s be honest, I am going to fail your every expectation in every way. Most posts will be too infrequent, too short, to void of any meaning, lacking in bitterness, sarcasm, or bite, and that is just my blogging. Just wait until you see how I can fail you in important ways. I will always be late, my work will lack detail, mi spulling whell bee baad, and nothing will make any sense. Also coming up short are these exemplary citizens:
It couldn’t be…there is no way those could be…
Hey Beyonce, if Jay Z ever dumps you…
This is it…the winning bunt for the World Series Championship…
And off to your left you will see some majestic dolphins….
Watch as our powerful kicker takes down this punt returner…
Watch as Super Mario Cat reaches for the last coin…
Hey Margaret, have a seat on this really comfy chair…
Hey dude, put on this blindfold and throw something backwards…
Hey babe, I love you so much and I really wanna ask you something….
If you really want to get a great view, you gotta get in the pit area…
Alright, let’s do some really cruel prank…
Alright everyone. Let’s quit being so mean…
I know that you have found this entertaining and will go into the weekend with bitterness on your minds. No? Gaaaaa! I’ve fallen short of expectations once again! That’s it! I’m gonna just go over here and pretend like this didn’t happen. Bye! Stop looking at me. Leave me alone! Just go! Away with you! Be gone!
ARRRGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Short Expectations Ben
Must admit, I think I would have died if someone offered me that bug-box…
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I’m pretty sure the dude that did that to her isn’t engaged to her anymore.
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*Insert ridiculous amount of laughing here* Thank you.
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I hope you don’t faint from laughter and accidently get nailed by a pipe in the conservatory by Miss Peacock.
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I want to leave a comment but all I can think of is…no comment…well done!
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That’s okay. There isn’t much to say when it comes to this blog anyways.
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I don’t know where you find these gifs but they’re absolutely inspired.
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There are several sights, but I start with google and go down the internet rabbit hole to find the best for Friday.
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Hahahah This BLOG so funny like MY BLOG toooo so fanny hahahhaha !
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I’m glad I could appeal to your super low expectations of the blog.
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Mines abit better though
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Your’s is way better. Mine is the scum at the bottom of the pond.
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Yours is sexier though..
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Ewww.. no. I can’t draw as well as you.
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True.. My blog drawings are pick-asso for sure..
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My drawings are so bad that when I play Draw Something people guess other things.
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Oh dear.. you have me laughing out loud and the Pastors’ gonna find out I’m not working. Oh well, its FRIDAY and thanks for the laughs.. I especially love the blindfolded shovel trick. I bet that one wasn’t on Jackass.
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Well, maybe you should find a nice quiet place where the pastor can’t hear you.
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Hmm…
Friday.
Pub.
Bitter.
Yes.
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Friday, always bitter.
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so much awesome
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Mostly bitter though.
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Funny, I took off reading all blogs this week too! 🙂
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That should have made you feel so much bitter.
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