Join us on Halloween for a very special Epic Fail.
Don’t ever tell me that I learn a lesson from failing at something. A couple of years ago, when this blog was very new and I was idealistic about it going to a place where I would never have to do real work ever again, I held a contest giveaway. I did what I thought was a clever thing where I did a scavenger hunt through previous blog posts. Readers would find words in specific posts, “like” the post and then in the comments give me the results. I thought it would set the internet on fire and I would be talked about on all the Today shows and become a viral sensation. What it did was reminded me that my readers were just as lazy as me. They said it was a great idea, but they had no time for it, so good luck to the five people that actually took the time to do it. Of course, I’m still an idiot enough that I know for a fact that I’m just one famous person discovering this contest away from going completely viral and becoming the next famous person that never did anything to earn their fame. That was an epic fail and didn’t happen, so as a person that doesn’t learn from their mistakes, I’m doing it again. Of course, this time it will be different because Rainn Wilson will be observing and tweet it out to all his constituents.
So back to the point. I was contacted by Victoria of Angstanarchy and Alanna of White Girls Be Like… to do a Funny Blog Friday thing on this upcoming Friday, which for you calendarly inept people is Halloween. It involves me epic failing at several things. Doing a contest giveaway, which you saw above I failed at and trying to be funny, which you can see I fail at on almost an every other daily basis. Again, I don’t learn, cause I’m bitter. So I’m just gonna put this out there and see it fail.
So contest. You have until Friday to either follow my Twitter, Benadman, follow my Ben’s Bitter Blog Facebook Page, or if you have done all that, like one of my post 6 months ago or earlier. If you find any of those things too hard, then you don’t deserve to win anyways. Prize: $20 of anything. If you want a gift certificate to something that I can find on the internet, you can have that of your choosing. Or if you want to be creative and make me buy something that you know will make me bitter, feel free. Either that, or I have a kind of bag thing that I got that says “Think Creatively”, but it also says my blog address on it, so you might want to blot that out so people don’t think you follow some weird blog on the internet. Just know that if you enter and win you will have to give me some sort of information on how to get the prize to me, so if you are a recluse that doesn’t want me knowing your address or PO Box or whatever, don’t enter. But I think that would be obvious right?
Alright, there is an upside to all this epic fail. There are other people involved in the funny thing that are actually funny and I will include links below to them, so you have something to laugh about on this Funny Blogger Friday. Also feel free to hashtag that thing up above, because I sure don’t know what to do with hashtags. Also, see the original post that started this all.
Funny Bloggers already involved:
Alanna of White Girls Be Like…
Jamie of Fits of Wit
H.E. Ellis of H.E. Ellis
Jessie of Jessie Reyna
Alice of Alice at Wonderland
Ben of Ben’s Bitter Blog
Jenn of Properly Ridiculous
So have fun with these funny people at the Halloween Party, while I hide in the corner being bitter.
AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH
Bitter No So Funny Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
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Back on my college newspaper the humor editors once ran a “absolutely everybody who enters wins something” contest, where anyone who sent in a clipping from the paper would get something they needed to get rid of. Mostly this was old yearbooks because the newspaper used to share an office with the yearbook staff and they never took the old stock out when they moved to another office.
A bunch of readers sent in clippings mischievously naming friends. They had no idea what was going on, producing plenty of cases where my friends went to some dorm, said what they were there for, and got stared at as surely some kind of malicious yearbook-giving-away nut cases. Real fun, for them.
A lesson from this? I don’t know, apart from maybe “it’s just too much work to give away old yearbooks that properly speaking aren’t really yours to people who really don’t want them”.
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I know better than to run a contest where someone actually wins. It’s a good thing the FCC isn’t monitoring my blog to find out if there is any sort of legitimacy here, cause I would be in big trouble.
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Ebola? What’s that? E-Bitter goes viral.
Keep you’re $20. I’m too lazy to collect it. 🙂
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And I’m too lazy to give it to you.
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Following on Twitter now. Of course, I still don’t really know how to USE Twitter. Which makes me bitter.
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I love me some funny blogs #FunnyBlogFriday
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I’m sure the others won’t disappoint. Check them out this Friday!
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Did someone say $20?? lol
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Sorry, is that not enough? Oh and you’re in freaking Canada and my only contest enterer. This isn’t good. I need to rig the results somehow so no one gets it.
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pft!
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See how I recruited people to be in it? Too bad for you.
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I know! pft
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Fool me once…. Just kidding. Have fun. Limited internet but will check out these funny bloggers.
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You need to stop being such an adventurer and just be a lazy person like me that just writes about boring things. Those other people should be good.
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It would be awesome if it were one of the Ben’s Bitter Blog t-shirts. Just saying. >.>
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It would be if: A) I had any left and B) Any one wanted a huge sized one and C) anyone would wear a shirt with the name Ben’s Bitter Blog on it. I did think of an idea where I just sold shirts that had bitter sayings on them and branded them Bitter, so people didn’t have to be embarassed about the Ben’s Bitter Blog being on there. Now that would be a better idea.
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This should be the prize: https://www.etsy.com/listing/166209588/fine-art-print-11×14?ref=sc_3&plkey=d60dd1c52d0082ba22f961cb81e477fd9eea226b%3A166209588&ga_search_query=oddities&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_max=20&ga_page=1&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
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It’s definitely within the price range, so if you win (so far no contestants) you would be able to get it.
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Yesss. There was a wisdom tooth for under $20 which was cool too
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A picture of a wisdom tooth? Or an actual one? I need to get mine on there if people are buying.
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Well, technically it’s plastic but it’s a copy of a real wisdom tooth https://www.etsy.com/listing/117558554/tooth-oddity-weird-wisdom-teeth?ref=sr_gallery_7&ga_search_query=oddities&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_max=20&ga_page=1&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
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Wow, that only made me a little ill to look at.
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LOL! I like it. I am another person who never learns anything from my failures, either. Bart Simpson used to have a tee shirt out that said, “underachiever and proud of it.” Yes, that sums it up well. How about epic fail day? Don’t we deserve a holiday, too?
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There definitely needs to be a holiday for the epic failures. As long as we don’t have to go to work. I’m pretty sure there are way too few holidays in this country.
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