…because you were busy getting trapped in a toy store.
I got kicked out of the house this weekend because my mini me daughter had her birthday and she wanted to do it with other female humans. So I had to get off the couch and stop being annoying dad for a little bit. Mini me boy decided that he didn’t want to go the movies (basically a large sized television where I can sit and be lazy in the dark for 3 hours and not talk), so I had to use my brain to think of something else to do. I decided to bring him to a face stuffing store (a restaurant) so we could get stuffed fuller than a turkey at Thanksgiving. That only took 30 minutes (curse you, Red Robin and your fast service!) so we had more time to kill. Instead of doing something smart (like finding a furniture store with beds, couches and lazy boy chairs), I decided to tell the kid that we could go to Toys R Us. Stupid decision(I’ve got my doctorate in bad decision making). Why would I go to a place where annoying kids hang out again? For a coupon? 20% off for one item? While my son was off annoying other people, I saw something I had heard about but never seen. A bike with fat tires. So many questions. Actually, just one. Why the fat tires?
Many other questions came this week, like would anyone ever want Bitter Advice from me? And if so, why? That is a question I asked this week and for some reason people decided they wanted some answers. People really need some help becoming bitter? I’m pretty bitter that people needed some help, since I’ve done over 300 posts giving them reasons why.
Two weeks ago, I decided I didn’t want to be in this Realm anymore, so I decided to go to the Video Game realm, but found myself just waiting in a line. It was almost as bad as waiting in line at DMV. I was able to bitter blog about it, in part 2, which may or may not tell if I make it into the world and if I do, what character and game I get assigned to. Find out if there are more cliffhangers in Bitter Realm Part 2.
Going against the good advice of Alfred, my butler, I decided to reveal my Secret Identity. If you read the post, you may find out what my Secret Identity is, but if you do find out what it is, then it won’t be a secret anymore. So maybe you shouldn’t read it. Besides, even if you don’t, it will probably not be revealed in the next post…
Which was a follow up to my Monday Post, called Bitter Advice Thursday, Man or B.A.T. Man for short. This is where I actually answered questions really badly and bitterly. For those that wanted to be bitter, this provided all kinds of way to be more so.
Then I finally ended the misery by doing some more Real Moving Giftures, since pictures move now.
I did some bittery twittery,
I got some comments,
On Bitter Advice Column:
“Question: Does your boss read your blog? And if so, why are you still employed?
(Hey where’s my finder’s fee?)” SJ Powers
On Bitter Realm Part 2:
“No way – not the worst. I mean…maybe. Maybe I have an odd appreciation for bad things? Either way – I’m happy you followed with a part two! 🙂” Properly Ridiculous
On My Bitter Secret Identity:
“I live in L.A. Anyone who fights traffic is a hero to me. You have me convinced. And your son totally cheated.” Outlier Babe
On Bitter Advice Thursday:
“Right! But isn’t that what we love about you? You’re like an adult size sour patch kid, and who can resist them?” – anewperspectiveperhaps
On Real Moving Giftures Friday:
“And that is why I hate little yippy dogs.” – morichansgarden
And some Giftures:
Guess I’m gonna die soon.
Why I don’t skateboard.
And that is why I’m out of here.
ARRRGGGHHHH
Bitter Toy Store Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
You know, if this ever happens again I think you should go to Best Buy and sit on their comfy used and abused couch and do watch tv.
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I could spend hours hanging out in Best Buy wasting time doing nothing but playing video games on a 100 inch screen.
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Toy store – that’s cheap. Wait want he wants whe he gets a little older ;-P
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I’m not looking forward to him getting older and needing more toys.
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I don’t do toy stores – you’re brave. And karma is just lazy revenge? Pretty sure that’s one of my favorite lines ever now.
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If it wasn’t for the kids and the loudness and all the employees and the crappy toys, it wouldn’t be that bad. Karma is just so lazy.
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I see what you did there with jeans and genes. But mostly I’m thinking of pizza.
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I’m almost always thinking about pizza. It is in my genes, and consequently in my jeans.
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if you hurry, you can be the 100th like & win the bitter prize
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Am I too late to be the 100th? For what again?
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100 th like
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a like is what i click, on your blog ,that says i like that you have 2 mini you’s, a mini you girl & boy..
i have a like button too, but you are going to be too late to be the 100th like…..
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Which post is it? I have one that needs about 100 likes to get to 500. Can you do that for me?
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i don’t understand why no one understands me. i was very clear. you know what a like is. all you had to do was click my name,when i asked you. by the time you asked me to explain like 3 people liked it.. it sat there for about two weeks now. my last post forever probably. they haven’t been r rated for over a year now.it’s only like 12 words
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I know what a like is, and I would do it in an instant if I knew what post.
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Hey it’s already Monday – where’s your Monday Dear Abby post?
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I’m doing them on Thursday’s, but only if I have any questions.
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I bet you’ll get some if you put out a call for them:)
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I need some for tomorrow. Hopefully I can get more.
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It is funny how we fade back as they blossom.
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I never blossomed.
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Toys R Us is generally a bad idea.
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You’re telling me. I felt like I needed armour and a weapon to make it through the swath.
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Why do you make me scroll waaayyy down to the bottom of the page to hit that like button? Is that just to piss me off?
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It’s cause I want to make you bitter. It seems like it is working.
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